Is cheating a new norm in modern society?

1. 63

   Mary Harryposted 4 years ago

   Relationships have changed over the years and it seems as though it is expected that at some point in time one person in the relationship will be unfaithful? Is all hope really lost for loyalty within a relationship? Do you think it’s possible for two people to be fully transparent with each other and avoid the careless flirting and sexual activities w other people for the entire length of their relationship? With this universal expectation does this mean you are to forgive them? Seeing that every partner will cheat?

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   1. 73

      dashingscorpioposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Just because something isn't rare or unusual doesn't make it the norm.
      For example the smoking percentage of adults in the U.S. is 16.1% .
      That means 84% of adults in the U.S. are not smokers.
      
      In addition some people are (former) smokers.
      Therefore it's possible a person may have cheated in one relationship but not another. If it's possible to be a former drug user, drinker, or smoker odds are a 17 year old who cheated on his/her significant other isn't doomed for life to be a cheating.
      
      Monogamy and cheating are (choices) the individual makes.
      
      According to a Gallop Poll "The percentage of American adults identifying as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) increased to 4.5% in 2017, up from 4.1% in 2016"
      This essentially  means 95% of the population is heterosexual.
      
      And yet many people believe the numbers for both groups are higher.
      The same thing holds true with cheating and infidelity as well.
      
      If 20% of the population in the U.S. cheated that's 60 million+ people.
      While that is a lot it still means 80% of the people are NOT cheating.
      Essentially perception is reality for most people.
      
      Last but not least the definition of "cheating" varies from one person to another these days. In past eras it meant someone had sex with another person outside of their "committed relationship" or marriage.
      
      Today some people would consider sexting, flirting, texting, emailing suggestive notes or love letters, and secretly meeting others for lunch, cocktails, or other activities to be cheating even if they've never discussed being exclusive!
      Some people even consider watching pornography to be cheating.
      
      As for being "fully transparent" it's doubtful most people want a blow by blow report on who flirted with their mate or if their mate saw someone they thought was extremely attractive at Starbucks, or details of the conversation they had with their buddies/girlfriends while out bonding.
      
      It's impossible to monitor someone's thoughts, fantasies, or behaviors.
      At a certain point you have to (trust) you did a good job in screening for a mate {who shares your same values} Before You Chose to Commit to Them.
      If two people aren't in agreement as to what constitutes "cheating" it's very possible one of them doesn't believe what they did was cheating.
      Being disrespectful and cheating are two different things in the eyes of most people.
      
      Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean staying together.
      When a bank forgives a loan it means they've given up on collecting the money. It doesn't mean they will offer another loan.
      Forgiveness is "letting go" and choosing to no longer dwell on something.
      You're entitled to have your own boundaries and "deal breakers".
      No one is "stuck" with anyone! Suffering is optional.
      
      We also can't ignore the reality that some people are extremely jealous and possessive of their partner's interactions with anyone! She/he is forced to look  away or at the ground whenever someone approaches and god forbid if they smile back or offer a friendly hello!
      
      Their mate/spouse will be {all over them} accusing them of a variety of offenses. Being personable could lead to a fight so they dim the light out of their life. They are only allowed to smile and be friendly with their partner.
      
      

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2. 60

   FatFreddysCatposted 4 years ago

   I've been married 21 years. In all that time I have never had the urge to cheat on my spouse.
   
   It is not "expected" in a healthy relationship, nor is it "universal."

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   1. 86

      gmwilliamsposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      +10000000000000

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