My 11-old daughter is actually convincing me to go out on dates. However, after having kissed dating good bye (since I am such a jerk-magnet), I would always shrug the idea off. Any thoughts on that?
well, it sounds like nifty idea. however, not all guys are jerks. maybe your just not looking in the right places. sure, if you go out to a club, you'll meet mostly jerks there. plus, in the ones I've been to, the music is so loud, it's hard to get to know anyone in those places. you could always join a gym, a book club, or get involved in some community activities as you might meet someone there. or if you have any friends, maybe you can hang out with them and you guys might end up meeting a few guys along the way. or you could try a dating service. however, just be sure to watch out for scams on those okay, as it's very easy to be duped by those. anyway, i hope that helps.
Thanks Stevennix2001. I tried some of those venues before, but its really not working for me. I might give it another try - who knows?
I learned very late in life that if you open your mind to the possibility of something it normally finds you as long as you try something, anything really, - or even don't do anything it will just come to you.
If you are in decent shape... gym group classes are great to attend to network with single women in their 20's, 30's, and 40's... Most of the women are not single but have single attractive friends. Likewise, you can network with them as well for referrals.
Most of the participants are women but the classes are really good for exercise purposes as well. Most guys are ashamed to attend but it is great for me since I have less competition and do not have any shame in my game.
Salsa classes and events are also great as well especially if you know how to "salsa."
I, personally, would recommend the exercise of cordial, modest and virtuous relationships. Especially at this time, your child needs to see the fruits of wholesome relationships. Seeing this will help put her on a road to future happiness and fulfillment. The same would also happen to you. Consider it a "human" journey that the both of you can share. As far as the who, you are precious and you deserve, and should settle for, nothing less than the best. Strive to search for the best quality for you. You are young by time is probably not on your side, and you have a child. A good and man of integrity would fully accept these things, and choose to support and serve them as more precious than gold or the treasures of the Earth.
Sounds like your daughter wants you to have a full life and that's great that she's being supportive. Sounds like you need to pull a Kastanza (remember the show Seinfield) - that's when you do the opposite of your natural instincts. This should bring you some luck. Also sit down and journal past failed relationships and see if there are a string of things that these people had in common so you can avoid that in the future. Life is short, don't play it safe all the time. Get off the merry go round and get on the roller coaster every now and then. It keeps you refreshed and alive.
yeah i have a commet that if you really like this guy then why don't you go out with him
You know - sometimes we have good days - sometimes we have bad - relationships are exactly the same - we have all had the jerks - they come in both male and female form - but you have to keep trying until you get it right - dont lock yourself in the closet over some jerk - no no no - get out and get going - you dont have to get into the whole clubing thing to get out - go to the gym - or some other place in which you have an interest - you will normally find like minded people in the places you enjoy - if you meet people through drunkeness then thats how the relationship will be - if you meet someone when you and they are sober and you are both doing something you enjoy - there is more chance of success - dont allow yourself to be used - let him wine and dine you - cinema - whatever - sex should be way down the list even if you would like to get close stay back for a while - nothing will damage a relationship more than an easy lay - if thats all you want have it - but if you want a real and lasting relationship do everything else first
Irish I like you more and more all the time. I go to my yoga classes and meditation groups and that is where I meet like minded people. Great advice brother.
Stevennix2001 - I just read you advice - very similar - great - we must have both travelled that long hard road that is covered in the broken hearts of many people
Dating can be scary...especially if you have been off the market for a while. Really not all guys are jerks...a lot of them are but not all. Bars are out unless you just want sex....which sometimes is ok
I have been told grocery stores can be good places to meet guys if you are willing to make the first move. Church?? Friends of friends...I found a pretty good guy that way once! Don't be the magent...you choose and go after him you might end up with what you want, instead of settling for those who come to you first...be proactive. Sounds scary huh?? It's not easy to be the one to make the first move, but it might be better than waiting also??
StormRyder - thanks for those suggestions.. Hmmm.. Did I mention that I met my husband when I was still active with the youth church organization when I was way younger? SO, I guess churches are out. Now, I go there with my kids really to pray.
Great advice. If you are more proactive you will come across strong and inependent. A jerk would run, easy prey is what thy are after (lonely and unconfident) but a good guy would be interested!
er hum.. and this is coming from someone who can't tell the difference btwn two Mike's?
Stormy - good advice - women in bars is a big no no for me unless I just want a good old fashioned ...... anyway, I think you meet a better class of person in the gym or at other venues where every one is sober - Church - I dont know - tends to attrack weirdos and preditors - no very careful about the Church - the man or women in the nice clothes are there for a reason....approach with caution.....better the gym, somewhere where people are themselves....open...not hiding behind a bible or prayer book if you know what I mean....
Could be?? I just threw church out there because I don't know if she does or doesn't attends church...I don't go to church so I have no idea what kinds of odd people may be lurking in the pews
aww...you would most likely meet ME at a bar. I dont do the gym or church...
I hoenstly think its best to not force meeting someone. Go out and enjoy activites that intereest you..your bound to evetnually meet people, and even if you dont end up dating, its good to meet new friends.
I dont think church is a good place to meet people either. Its awkward. Praising Jesus one second and "Damn he has got a nice butt" the next! And everyone knows everyones business, it may be a place of non-judgement... but Monday through Saturday... people are judging.
There really are a lot of great men out there, just too many bad stories take over. Find your prince.
Hey Kim. Thanks! I am in no hurry at all. My daughter just want me to give it another shot at it. I am so loving my "singleness". Of course there are times I start to think about growing old alone..
Dating is hard at any age. You will come across jerks in all forms and fashion, you have to keep an open mind. Don't settle just because you want the companionship. If the guy turns out to be a jerk, move on. Chalk it up as a lesson learned and scratch his name off your little black book. Most importantly, have fun...we often forget that.
I'm 32 and looking for someone to date. Not looking, just hoping love finds me. It's a difficult age, but you're much wiser.
I'm not too sure about finding love at the gym, the ones I have been to tend to be full of posers. Personally I think searching for love is doomed to fail, because you are more likely to overlook flaws.
Let it come to you and things are mch more likely to work out
My very best dating years were in my early to mid 30s.
It wasn't until then that I discovered where everything was and stopped stepping on things.
I think that 30s is nearly the best age for dating. You're not that foolish anymore, you think about yourself, you try not to sacrifice anything of importance to yourself. That happens a lot in teen years or early twenties, and you think it's normal..
With regards to places... well, I haven't been to any church for about a decade, gym - you go there for different reasons, work - might be, but very unlikely if you enjoy what you do, bars/clubs/pubs - quite good for one night stands, but not really something more. Internet - just a jungle there, can be quite tricky. Book club/cooking clubs/libraries - do you really go to these things? Never been there and I don't think will ever go... what else... oh, just passers by on the street - always a surprise.. introductions by friends/colleagues - failure guaranteed.
Ok, I got bored with dating and gave up on that. Just a waste of time - the one who's meant for you will find you anyway, so why bother?
Whats so bad is a woman is in her prime in her 30's. We want sex, sex, sex, but not one night stands (maybe a few). Where is my knight in shining armor?
I think I see him riding in the distance, he had to stop for a grease and oil change.
Women in their 30's and perhaps early 40's have the same needs and desires I have had since I was 14 years old.
I'm 33 years old, never been married, have no kids, and stay single by choice. It's great to date although eventually I will need to settle down to have kids before I get too old. I date women younger, the same age, and older than me.
You can't hunt down true love. Love has a way of mysteriously finding you... at the right moment.
Why not look at it differently, not as "dating" but as hanging out with guy friends. Just look at them as potential friends, not potential husband material. It's much easier that way without the added pressure of "should I kiss him goodnight" or "will he try to spend the night.." blah blah blah. You know the story. I know, it's easier said than done. But try it.
I say go for it,not every guy in the street is a jerk,you might actually have some real fun!I hope all goes well.
by ForeverHeather 19 months ago
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