What is your view of online dating?

1. 0

   savvydatingposted 8 years ago

   What is your view of online dating?
   
   Please feel free to share a story about you or someone you know. If you have never tried online dating and you are single, what is holding you back?
   
   

   replyreport
2. 60

   FatFreddysCatposted 8 years ago

   Never tried it - my wife and I had already met prior to the Internet Dating age.
   I hear a lot of horror stories about it, but on the other hand a good friend of mine met his wife online and they've been married for more than a decade now, so I guess it must work for some folks...

   replyreport
   1. 0

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hello Keith....It turns out that one third of American marriages started out with an online date. That's a pretty decent (and surprising) figure. I wonder if someone will share a horror story. Might be an interesting way to learn something valuable.

      replyreport
3. 0

   LoliHeyposted 8 years ago

   Annoying.  I wish I could meet someone in real life.  Most men expect that because you said you'd go to dinner with them, and exchanged a few emails, that you're ready to sleep with them and be a girlfriend within a few weeks.  I had one guy take his profile down after one date with me because, he told me, "I'm the type of guy who, when I am interested in someone, I like to focus on that person, and that person only." We hadn't really spent much time together.  I wasn't even interested in him that much! He deleted his profile!  The bottom line is that you aren't allowed time to really get to know someone, and develop a real relationship.  They expect "Instant Girlfriend."

   replyreport
   1. 84

      iggy7117posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I'm single Lolita..  The world moves fast today and people feel they know someone before they actually do.The typical way of getting to know someone before getting serious has fallen to fast paced instant gratification relationships.Not for me.

      replyreport
4. 55

   Yael mahposted 8 years ago

   I never tried online dating, not because I am afraid of meeting a murderer or something like that. Because i do believe that someday I will meet someone and it will be beautiful, romantic. Even realizing that i want someone who have been there all along will be romantic.
   I admit that maybe I'm just too old fashioned, maybe even childish to wait for this love story. But after all that what makes dating so exiting and so attracting, the sparks fly at that eye contact.. not that like I give him.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      That's sweet. Just know Yael, that instant attraction is instantaneous, but love develops over time. That being said, " love at first site" has happened. The trick is to take your time when dating. There's no rush when all is said and done.

      replyreport
5. 75

   Oztinatoposted 8 years ago

   My view is that if you want to become part of a Stephen King scenario in real life then by all means join a dating website. I tried RSVP about 8 years ago. After the initial wave of computer viruses I "met" a lady who turned out to be a literal nightmare. She had a history of meeting men on dating sites, having sex, and then claiming the man raped her in an attempt to get to get criminal compensation. Luckily for me she was still going through her latest "rape scam" when we met so she only tried to sue me for "stealing her book"  which I had spent literally months helping her write. Then one night she started to hallucinate that I was a "Russian Spy" and pulled a steak knife on me. It was then I realised she was an undiagnosed schizophrenic and ran for my life. After that she took me, the police and the government to the Supreme Court about 20 times for allegedly conspiring to make her life miserable. Finally she was locked up in a psychiatric facility and forced by law to take anti psychotic medication.
   Such are the joys of online dating.

   replyreport
   1. 71

      ptosisposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Holy Crap!

      replyreport
   2. 0

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      No way. Are you serious? What a psycho. She must have been a great actress for you to have spent so much time with her. Lol. Sorry to laugh, but that's one nightmare of a story. It's no wonder you avoid online dating like the plague.

      replyreport
   3. 80

      Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      How AWFUL!!! This is downright dangerous! Apparently, women aren't the only ones who need to be careful. A man from HI joined a church-based dating service; a woman in WA gave him a 1 way ticket to see her. She turned oit to be FAT; he was trapped!

      replyreport
   4. 75

      Oztinatoposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Savvy
      I thought I could help. After only a few months it was total insanity. She then went on to make death threats to a female police officer and many other bizzare things. She hid the full truth for a while until it got dangerous.

      replyreport
   5. 0

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Oh, Wow. Please forgive me for laughing, Oztinato. It wasn't funny and I didn't fully realize the woman was actually dangerous. At first, I thought you were half kidding, but obviously your experience was no joking matter. Thank you for sharing.

      replyreport
   6. 75

      Oztinatoposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Savvy
      I can laugh now. At the time the police said they are busy with similar dating site disasters and scams. Their advice: don't go near the sites.
      In my opinion the "success" stories are made up by the sites' shareholders.

      replyreport
   7. 80

      Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      The police said that? WHOA!
      The man I told you about wound up stuck in the woman's house isolated in the mountains for 2 weeks. She had taken his cell phone. He had to walk several miles to the highway, then hitchhike to a pay phone to escape!

      replyreport
   8. 0

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Say Yes....that is scary!! It sounds like something out of a horror movie. Think Kathy Bates in Misery. Yikes!

      replyreport
   9. 71

      LoisRyan13903posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Say yes it does seem like what Savy said,  Stephen King 's Misery

      replyreport
   10. 75

       Oztinatoposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Research has shown that the only people who claim to have met online and are happy are shareholders of these sites. This has been proved by actual prosecutions.

       replyreport
   11. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Is that in Europe? In the U.S., nearly everyone is familiar with at least 1 couple who met online, married, and seem to be doing fine.
       Do you have a link? I've not seen any research like that.

       replyreport
   12. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Check this out!
       https://sonichits.com/video/Adam_Bomb/D … perhighway

       replyreport
   13. 59

       redrose65posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       not everyone is like her

       replyreport
6. 80

   Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years ago

   I tried eHarmony once.  They sent me only a couple leads where I live, which is the Big Island of Hawaii.  I wound up corresponding briefly with half a dozen men, and only met one, who was vacationing from Oregon.
   He appeared to be a master at online dating.  He told me flat out he wasn't interested in me, and only wanted the date because he was on a singles cruise and hadn't met anyone on the cruise he was interested in.  I was cool with that; I wasn't particularly interested in him either.
   We went to breakfast, and his cruise group walked by, with one woman giving him the evil eye because he had the nerve to be the only one in the group who got a date!  LOL!
   Our date lasted 3 hours, during which he told me about Skype, and other things.  He had been married and divorced 3 times (one more divorce, and he would no longer qualify for eHarmony).  He invited me to stay at his place if I ever came to Oregon.
   We spoke for an additional 3 months, then he said he couldn't take me in if I came to Oregon, because he'd met another woman and she was instantly moving in.
   I'm under the impression most dating groups - online or otherwise - attract people with poor social skills who want to cut to the chase.  The only positive experience I ever had with a singles group was my ski club when I lived in Silicon Valley.  No doubt good things come out of these experiences, but I believe the best way to meet someone is to develop and pursue interests, and go through the painful process of interacting with as many people as possible, even if they aren't dating material, because you never know who they can introduce you to.  Like the old public service announcement says, "Just turn on to life - and life will turn you on".

   replyreport
   1. 71

      ptosisposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I agree. If you want to meet interesting people then do the things that interest you and have fun. Dating seems pre-ordained 'yes' permission for sex as if don't have a right to change your mind or feelings.

      replyreport
   2. 0

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I believe that meeting people who have similar interests is a great idea. But Yoleen, girlfriend, the next time a man tells you flat out he isn't intetested, just keep on walking. No need to spend time with a guy who is looking for someone else.

      replyreport
   3. 80

      Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, you guys. Ptosis - you haven't told your story yet.
      SD - the man gave me considerable insight into the online dating scene, so in this case it was worth it. Normally, I would have kept walking.

      replyreport
   4. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      If you believe the best way to meet someone is through mutual interest you might try Meetup.com. It's not a dating site but rather a hobby/interest site with a large variety of groups that meet once or twice a month. No doubt singles are there.

      replyreport
   5. 80

      Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      DS that's an idea - thanks! BTW, does anyone know the divorce rate for couples who meet online versus live?

      replyreport
7. 84

   iggy7117posted 8 years ago

   Some use online dating to meet someone and then get to know each other the normal way. Many people misuse it to serial date or play games.
   
   I see nothing wrong with it to just meet someone and then get to know each other on the phone or in person-getting off the date site when it gets serious.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Online dating actually works for some people. I've met a number of couples who met online. On the other hand, 10% of people online are sociopaths, while some others are just looking for sex. That's where it's helpful to read between the lines!

      replyreport
8. 74

   Frank Atanacioposted 8 years ago

   I'm sure dating on-line is mysterious.. but I enjoy the good old days.. when stalking wasn't stalking.. it was cute..LOL  can't do on-line..  love to meet and see what they are all about not read what they are all about.. but it's just me..

   replyreport
   1. 0

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Alas, Frank....there is a lot to be said about the "good ole days."  I do think that if people can find a way to meet others in group settings, then it may be possible to glean some information about that person through observation--in person.

      replyreport
9. 86

   tsmogposted 8 years ago

   Great question / article potential. My adventure at ’06 age 52 for about a year. Success? Yes in some ways. Overall view success perhaps is greater in a metropolitan area & more with millennials. Online dating is much more accepted today. I have younger friends with a much more positive experience today especially with more availability of prospects locally.
   
   It did not produce a relationship beyond a few dates. I had not been in the dating game (?) for awhile. It was a very valuable learning experience with some high points. Footnote: Online dating for me was attractive because I worked a 6 day / 50+ workweek and weekends. Therefore growing a relationship online seemed a solution.
   
   Interestingly as that experience began to dissipate I used personal data for a paper for a sociological class. I looked at how many contacted me with a 'wink', how many I did, network correspondence, exchanged emails - phone, and actually met. For me it was a lot of time invested and a lot of wondering and pondering.
   
   Each is vested time of interactions some for months. There are psychological & spiritual implications. Discovery of three elements – hope, honesty, and suspicion. I learned through trial and error to get the qualifiers out of the way. It was easier on us both.
   
   Consistent qualifiers were my hours worked, no retirement, and did not own a house. Hmmmmm . . . I could actually understand that reasoning :-) I introduced something else too. I started to ask “How willing are you to forgive my past?” I am not insinuating dastardly deeds . . . the fact I am somewhat as I am today because of life experience. Remember that includes past relationship experiences forming me as I am. Of course I had to ask myself that question too! The past impacts the present.
   
   What of my entrepreneurial venture. Yes, IMO, my package was attractive – current picture, honest information, and psychologically assessed compatibility. But, location, location, and location, risk assessment for financial security, and long term relationship goals seemed at task. I lean toward those are more important as one gets older regard long term relationship. Perhaps not . . .
   
   I did a little research and discovered two interesting online sources:
   
   Pew Research Feb 2016 http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/20 … ne-dating/
   
   StatisticsBrain (No date offered) http://www.statisticbrain.com/online-dating-statistics/

   replyreport
   1. 0

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Great answer, Tsmog. Online dating is definitely a learning experience that need not be all bad. One of the problems is that you run into so much of the same, and if you're not looking for "same" it is easy to become discouraged. Appreciate your info

      replyreport
   2. 86

      tsmogposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      It was for me a very positive experience. It opened my mind to looking at it from her shoes. When younger infatuation I think has greater impact. Back then there were not really many in areas local to me. Then I didn't have time as an advantage too.

      replyreport
   3. 0

      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      That's the thing. It's hard to join a group when you work a lot of hours. You are a unique man in that you were willing to try seeing the woman's perspective. No doubt, this helped your level of communication quite a bit.

      replyreport
10. 75

    word55posted 8 years ago

    I've tried online dating stemming back 25 years ago via various sites. It is no worst than meeting someone on the street. In fact, it is not much difference. You must be careful when meeting someone for the first time no matter how you meet. Just, don't be desperate .The advantage of meeting someone online is you get the chance to get more familiar with them by basically chatting. Some people of interest may be long distance and some local. Either way, you must be safe in everything you do. Some people have gotten married by doing the "right" things from online hook ups. I have met ladies and am still good friends with many of them. I dated one for nearly 6 months locally. I met one in a neutral state and we had a nice time but neither one of us could afford to leave our home towns and therefore, we are still good friends after meeting online 10 years ago. Many people have been victimized by people they have met mostly in person. Husbands and wives that have met in person have unfortunately, killed the other. Online dating can however, lead to a beautiful thing.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I am glad you brought this up, Word55. We forget that we can meet "crazies" in person too, and that the opportunity to meet more undesirable people is greater online only because there are more available people online than offline---in one location.

       replyreport
11. 87

    Jodahposted 8 years ago

    Savvy, I think online dating has its place, especially now in this technological age. As long as you are careful and use common sense I think it can be a positive experience. One of my sons met his wife online and now they have been married for six years and have two lovely children.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       John, it is wonderful to hear a success story. Thank you for that. So true that we have to use common sense whether meeting online or not. Also, online dating doesn't have the stigma of "being desperate" that it once did. I'm glad your son found love

       replyreport
12. 64

    Matthew Woolseyposted 8 years ago

    Well years ago my dad met my stepmother through online chat rooms if you remember those. They married and had their bumps in the road but they are still married. I've tried e-harmony and didn't have any luck, but after this last relationship I think I'm going to throw in the towel and just be a better parent for my two kids I'm only 32 but I'm tired and I don't believe in true love between two adults so I'm done.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Matthew, being a better parent is the most rewarding thing you will ever do. Maybe the time isn't right for you to find love, but true love exists. The trick is in choosing well by taking note of red flags in the beginning & by valuing true chara

       replyreport
    2. 43

       MelangeSpace1posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I totally understand how he is feeling and I'm only 28, and on my second relationship, first one lasted 6 years and this one is on the 3rd yr and not counting...will never do online dating though...

       replyreport
    3. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       You never know Melange. If at age 48, you find yourself suddenly alone, you might consider it. At any rate, my wish is that Matthew finds a good mate one day, and that the person you are now dating treats you well.

       replyreport
    4. 43

       MelangeSpace1posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Aw, than you love. Same to you.

       replyreport
13. 60

    DionesiaPposted 8 years ago

    Maybe I'm not the best person to answer this question since I'm quite young (21) but I'll give my point of view anyhow
    
    So personally I don't feel like it's the best way to meet someone, maybe because I'm a traditional person and I still believe into meeting people the "normal" way if I can say that.
    
    So far, my experience with online dating has been whack even though I went on just one date (which was my first date), most of the people that I spoke to online were either self centered or looking for something quick and even just simply looking for the milk without buying the cow. I wasn't looking for that at all and since I have never been in a relationship before and I don't want my first experiences with a guy to be something so diminishing as these (Friends with benefits? - No thank you~)
    
    I registered on these thinking that I would have met decent people because I believed that once I finished college/school then it is going to be harder/impossible to meet people with work and so on, lol.
    
    After that first date which was... enlightening, I deleted all of my accounts and gave up on finding someone - especially of my age that was willing to build something (I'm not talking about marriage but a relationship such as traveling together and doing things together, encouraging one another to do better in life as well...)

    replyreport
    1. 60

       Laura Karinaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       You gave up after 1 first date? Did u give up college after orientation? No, u struggled through useless & not so useless classes,classmates, and profs. Same with dating. You never have to do anything. 100. smile & wave to the next. good will

       replyreport
    2. 60

       DionesiaPposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Well, I had only one date but I have already fallen for people but I never did went on dates with them.  I understand what you are saying, and I keep putting myself out there just to fall on bad people or people who never share my feelings

       replyreport
    3. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Louisiana, Kudos to you for having high standards. I think that's great and very smart.  I understand your giving up so quickly, to a certain extent. It's a shock to the system to run into so many disrespectful men. Hope love finds you in time.

       replyreport
    4. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I noticed on your profile you live in Roybiax, France. When I toured Europe, I found people there are much more social than in the US. You should join as many organizations as possible, and mix with EVERYONE, rather than 1 at a time. See what happens

       replyreport
    5. 71

       dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Yoleen, You made an excellent point about falling into the trap of seeing one person at a time. If a company were looking to fill a position they'd evaluate/interview multiple candidates!
       Their goal is to find "the right one" not the next one.

       replyreport
    6. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Louisiana, even at your young age, MeetUp, has some get togethers for French people. That may be a way for you to meet people in person who you can relate to.

       replyreport
    7. 60

       DionesiaPposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks all of you for your input and your advice. All of them have helped me to  see things differently
       Yoleen Lucas: I just recently started to live in France (6-7Mo) and I am indeed searching for different ways to meet people outside of school

       replyreport
14. 61

    DeylightWriterposted 8 years ago

    "All things are possible"...I think that comes from the Bible (or some other insightful text). Anywho...I say this because like anything Online Dating has its possibilities.  Seems like I've been on every Online Dating website that has ever sent me a "try us for free" email.  At first like so many other people - I said I would never do "that" - online dating is for people who____...well we can fill in the blank with what ever seems wrong to us about online dating. Strange thing is - I watch so many (too many) shows about "real life" murder cases and so many now involve online dating.  However, I think its like many things in our technology age - its been going on for years - and the internet just makes it "visible" to more people (which should make us more aware and more careful...and yes I know crazy is out there - no matter how what). However, as for me - I've met some wonderful men online.  I even fell in love, dated and got engaged to a lovely man.  However, just before the wedding - I realized I wasn't ready for marriage.  He was very disappointed and angry (rightfully so).  However, we are friends today (he's even on my FB).  I am also glad to say that I have always been safe (saved) because I  have been careful to follow my gut. That means - IF IT DOESN"T FEEL RIGHT - you can bet your safety - it ain't right.  I think one of the things that makes online dating difficult for some is that they think its a cure-all (for their life issues).  I'm glad I've been safe and felt safe with the men I've met - owing to some VERY COMMON sense about meeting "strangers" and even inviting them into your life - too soon.  With that said - I have also "met" (never in person) some real crumbs.  Yes, there are (still) men out there that prey on women's emotions, play games and just want to play around (i.e. get laid).  I think those are the people - men and women - that give online dating a bad name.  So I began stating "All things are possible" and the point of stating that is..."Yes, its possible to have a bad experience with online dating...and its also possible to have a good experience with online dating" - it depends on how its approached.  To be alive...we must live and to live we must try different things...some things won't work for you...and thankfully some things will work.  I think the more we try...the more we find what works for us.  I tried online dating - eyes, mind and spirit open to receiving good - and for the most part - I got good. Namaste

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       What a wonderfully positive answer, Deylight. Common sense is a must when dating. Period. Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom. And yes, it is all about following your gut. We have an inner warning system. It's wise not to ignore it.

       replyreport
15. 71

    dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

    
    
    Online dating sites are nothing more than a (tool) to meet new people. Much like a fork is a tool for eating.
    One can (choose) to eat a garden salad or a slice of double fudge chocolate cake. However an obese person would never blame their fork for the weight gain!
    And yet people who have bad online dating experiences will blame the online dating industry. They negate the fact that (they) chose a particular site, chose to engage with a particular person, didn't have a "screening process" or "mate selection process" of their own whereby as someone reached a particular milestone they promoted them towards an eventual face to face meeting for lunch...etc
    Two of the biggest mistakes I see people make are:
    1. They don't take the time research various dating sites before joining. They should try to learn who the site's demographic is made up of: (age, average income, education, percentage of men versus women members...etc) {Avoid the FREE sites}
    2. They RUSH to meet people without thoroughly screening through the site's email and eventual telephone calls. Truth be told I believe a lot of folks HATE the whole dating process. They just want to "fast forward" to a commitment with someone or being exclusive before truly getting to know whether or not they are compatible.
    One other thing it's important to remember is just because someone doesn't want what (you) want at this stage of their life doesn't mean they are "bad". The same folks you meet online also exist offline.
    It's been reported that 1 in 5 people in relationships met online. Another way of saying it is 80% of couples met offline! Online dating is just "another tool" for meeting new people in addition to all the other traditional ways.
    Ultimately it's not how you meet but who you meet that counts.
    Anyone who is having one bad dating/relationship experience after another probably needs to reexamine their "mate selection criteria'.
    The only thing all of your bad relationships have in common is (you).
    Always use good commonsense when dealing with strangers online or offline. In many ways online dating and sites like Meetup.com are a Godsend for people over the age of 40. It provides another avenue to meet new people and be proactive. No one wants to be the old woman or old man in the nightclub.
    There are lots of niche dating sites.

    replyreport
    1. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       It does seem people don't enjoy dating, and want to cut to the chase. I knew someone who told me that. She joined a singles ministry and married a man within a few months. The results were DISASTROUS!

       replyreport
    2. 71

       dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I can imagine! Rushing usually leads to making mistakes & ignoring "red flags". Every serious relationship I've had began casually and evolved into something serious. Many online profiles state they're looking for "serious" not "the right one".

       replyreport
    3. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Dashing...I like your fork analogy. Good way to make a point. It's true that having a high criteria is a must. But once in a while, we can get fooled anyway---and the "crazies" slip through. That's when our gut steps in to try to save us.

       replyreport
    4. 93

       Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Great answer! If you don't rush things you can find someone you are really compatible with. My relationships before my current partner were based on attraction which is a lousy way to choose a mate. I got married to a gay Republican that way!

       replyreport
    5. 90

       KCOposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I love the fork analogy. So well put.
       
       I find that the folks who end up saying that "online dating" doesn't work are the same folks who have intrinsic issues with regular dating.

       replyreport
16. 55

    peter565posted 8 years ago

    I never try online dating, I like the old school bar scene. I think it is more fun this way and it is also more of a challenge to try get a girl, who is originally not that into you, into liking you and would consider saying yes, when you ask her out. Plus, it make more sense, to meet a girl in an enviorment they feel safe (eg an university cafe, because they know most guys that make it into university are decent, so she don't need to worry about a rapist, even if you are somebody with a bad boy attitude.) and from there you form a first impression about somebody you are already phsycially attracted to. As much as we guys, like girls who are phsycially hot, we consider inner beauty just as important, because we know she won't be hot forever and this is somebody you spend the rest of ur life with, she need to be somebody, you can see yourself with, even later years down the track, where she became old and ugly. Online dating, you can only know how she look, you can't even get that first impression till later and she might turn out to be a total jerk. I will never consider online dating. My mate sign me up for online dating a while ago and I got a lot of response, (apparently some girls think I look cool), I just deleted every response and told my mate, to take that profile off the website.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Peter, I have to say that I love a man who is persistent enough to get the girl, in person. Someone like you doesn't really need online dating. You're the type of guy who is always going to meet girls easily the "old fashioned" way.

       replyreport
    2. 55

       peter565posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks, although I am a bit lazy, so I don't try very hard to get girls.

       replyreport
    3. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Lol. You're a funny guy.

       replyreport
17. 58

    rexyposted 8 years ago

    l suppose if you look at it another way...... you could be talking to that person through text conversations ... which opens up a persons heart and feeling a different way.... you know all the lovey dove messages.... some people open up to become poets... and flatter the heart... BUT l suppose if first date face to face and all that... a person will not open up right away.... haven't really tried to know... but l get quite flattered with text messages through my work on the internet.... that l have been touched with poems and nice messages... ect... than again it is like a game... as sometimes l think people make fake accounts and may not be genuine... but in all l find it fun....

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       You have a point, rexy. For example, when children & parents first began using email, they actually found they could open up and connect better than they had before. You've brought something relevant, I believe.

       replyreport
    2. 58

       rexyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       l find that say if someone is talented in their work say like art etc... and people around the World view them you might get one person who might start following you around and that also sparks of a relationship, connection and marriages..

       replyreport
    3. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       That can definitely happen in your local MeetUp. Not so sure about around the world, but who knows?

       replyreport
    4. 29

       sukhneetposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       To some extent,  I agree to you. Text messages can be flattering,  but in a lot of cases,  it's deceiving.  Though,  I have heard about many such relationships that end up into marriages also.  That's pretty cute,  I guess!

       replyreport
18. 85

    Dakkposted 8 years ago

    Online dating is completely fine. Like someone already said on another answer, it is only a tool to get to know potential dating partners.
    However, like any tool, it needs to be well used in order to get good results.
    
    A whole lot of people treat online dating as a quick way to get a night of sex with a person they barely know. Also, online dating only provides the first steps for a real relationship, and people should be extra careful in setting up real life encounters, as faking information on these services is actualy very easy. When meeting someone from a dating site for the first time, one should always choose a public place like a park or other places in which there are a fair number of people around at all times.
    
    A lot of people fall to the illusion that they know everything they should know of a person just from talking to them online. This isn't something one should assume even when seeking only friendship, much less an actual relationship.
    
    That said, online dating expands the number of potential partners by a fair bit, so if you're not having any luck with the people you have already physically met, then online dating can be a solution for you.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       True answer, Dakk. It's all about safety first. Another important tip is that if someone tries to rush you in a way that is uncomfortable, then it is best to let them know or move on to someone who has more patience, or who acts more respectfully.

       replyreport
19. 92

    IslandBitesposted 8 years ago

    My husband and I met online. However, it wasn't in a dating site (we met in a music forum). And I wasn't looking to date someone. Next September is our 10 anniversary.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       How adorable. I love it, IslandBites. Congratulations! There is a lot to be said for socializing with people of similar interests. Your situation was happenstance, which makes your story all the more fascinating.

       replyreport
    2. 92

       IslandBitesposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Thank you!

       replyreport
20. 56

    cinders rauhleeposted 8 years ago

    I have never tried online dating. I don't really think I would have the time for it. Also I really don't wantto die at the hands of a serial killer :p

    replyreport
    1. 75

       Oztinatoposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       My sentiments exactly. My nightmare online "date" fantasised about castrating males and turned out to be a litiginous psychotic undiagnosed schizophrenic

       replyreport
    2. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Unfortunately, it is very easy to lie online---and many people do lie. A safety precaution is to do a background check on a potential date once you find out their last name. This can be done whether you meet online or offline.

       replyreport
21. 59

    Meethecardensposted 8 years ago

    I was skeptical of online dating to say the least..
    A couple years ago I was single and found myself trying a few sites out because the days work had me so busy. I had no time to do much of anything, So I figured why not give it a try I had nothing to loose..Who knew I would find the love of my life:)
    So I say give it a try you have nothing to loose..

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Hello! It's always nice to hear a success story. The other side of the coin is that, due to lack of common sense, some people have been scammed out of money. But why anyone would give money to someone online is beyond me. Anyway, I am happy for you!

       replyreport
    2. 59

       Meethecardensposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I was definitely skeptical:)
       But for me it was about quality of life..

       replyreport
22. 51

    Kayla Edwardsposted 8 years ago

    I am single and I don't use online dating websites because i like being single for the first reason and another reason is i don't want to find someone of a website. id rather look for someone face to face or meet someone in person first.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       That's understandable, Kayla. I think it's great that you enjoy being single. There's no rush...

       replyreport
23. 69

    wrenchBiscuitposted 8 years ago

    
    
    The popularity of on-line dating only reinforces the fact that one perversion leads to another. The status quo was born of the  historical materialistic obsession of the majority; a terminal sickness that predates the rise of the tyrant, Constantine The Great, by at least 2000 years. It is no doubt that a society which ignores the deleterious effects of supermarkets, automobiles, industrial pollution,and government, would embrace a mating ritual that suits their malignant cowardice, and the overall shallowness of their character.
    
    Long before the advent of the internet and on-line dating, Ralph Nader and others warned of the dire consequences of global overpopulation. The absence of on-line dating never prevented the mindless masses from breeding like rabbits. But today we can see that on-line dating promises a solution while only perpetuating a problem: that problem fundamentally being "social retardation". One need only make a cursory review of some of the on-line dating profiles to verify my bold assertion. What you will find is one simple minded, selfish, and materialistic person, after another, advertising and highlighting the fact that aside from their capacity to breed, or at least go through the motions, they are completely worthless. Of course,during the last 100 years, if this monolithic, moronic mass of humanity had been seriously schooled in social interaction: dating, and mating, from K through 12, we might now be looking at the light at the end of the tunnel. Instead, we are staring down the darkness  of materialism, and ultimately the extinction of the entire human race.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Why do I have the feeling that dating is not your forte, Ronnie? Seriously, you will do anything to talk about "the darkness of materialism." Anyone who dates you must find it exhausting. Relax. Buy her some flowers, even if it is "materialistic."

       replyreport
    2. 69

       wrenchBiscuitposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, dating has never been my forte. I have never been comfortable with being manipulated, by man or nature. I'm not interested in being a sex object, a piggy bank, or a fair-weather friend.  Anyone over the age of 40 should get over the hump.

       replyreport
24. 62

    Elena Verduynposted 8 years ago

    In my opinion, people should stay from online dating. I'm saying this because, you never know who u could meet on there, it could be really dangerous

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       It could be, Elena, but it usually isn't for most individuals. However, one must always use safety precautions when dating, in general.

       replyreport
25. 68

    Jake Greenlyposted 8 years ago

    Online dating for men is complete crap. Stuck up women and too many douche bags to compete with.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Gee.....I can't imagine why things are working out for you.

       replyreport
    2. 59

       Meethecardensposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Ya i cant believe its going too well for you with that attitude!

       replyreport
    3. 69

       wrenchBiscuitposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I'd say it's going real well for Jake. He's not wasting his time and money on women who have nothing to offer but an expensive  headache.

       replyreport
26. 47

    Riz jhonposted 8 years ago

    Hi.....I must say online dating is the most popular site in the world...so many people around there,and it is a kinds of online business,where you can meet many of person,example you are looking for male partner or female partner,some persons even fall in iove with online in they're first meet,and some peoples wants to meet face to face.those are the reason of online dating,there have many others options in oline dating and it is private.. Tnx

    replyreport
27. 61

    Rogers Olareposted 8 years ago

    Online dating is cool. It is more or less the same as face-to-face dating. Despite the fact that people dont meet, they must meet when they are down for a serious business.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I appreciate your input, Rogers. I am glad your experience has been positive.

       replyreport
28. 45

    DDEposted 8 years ago

    Online dating is not for everyone and I don't approve of online dating. It is up to the individual. People different ways to date and meet new people in their lives. The problem with online you never know who is on the other line.

    replyreport
29. 90

    Happylovejoyposted 8 years ago

    My friends (not me) use online dating - generally it is just a portal to meet new people but there are many people out there who misuses such portals to look for a one night stand. If the dating portal is for people looking for a serious relationship, don't trash it and waste other people's time by using it to have a fling.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Right. There are lesser online sites for that, unfortunately.

       replyreport
30. 50

    Evaneposted 8 years ago

    I have tried using online dating sites. In fact, a few of them. But I stopped because majority of the accounts are bogos accounts.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I assume you mean that the dating site keeps the pictures, of closed accounts, still available for people to see.

       replyreport
    2. 50

       Evaneposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       No. I mean there are people in there who are joining just for the sole purpose of deceiving innocent members, get their info and hack them.

       replyreport
    3. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I see. Thank you for the clarification and the warning, Evane.

       replyreport
31. 29

    sukhneetposted 8 years ago

    Online dating is not always a pleasure.  I know a friend who met a man over a dating website and started harassing her to have sex with her.  It was her teenage when she met him and handling him was getting difficult for her. 
    Actually she met him once,  after that he started following her and also tried to rape her.  It was only when she asked for help from local police,  she was able to get out of the mess.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       That's horrible! Thank goodness she called the police.

       replyreport
    2. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Hopefully she also notified the dating site, so they could ban him.

       replyreport
    3. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Absolutely! Such people are banned.

       replyreport
    4. 29

       sukhneetposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       @Yoleen Lucas,  no idea regarding that.  I hope she must have notified the dating site.

       replyreport
32. 73

    Sandi Kroegerposted 8 years ago

    I was divorced and single for several years. I tried a few on-line dating sites (YES... avoid the FREE ones!!) and had varying degrees of success. Did I meet a couple weirdos?? Yep!! But in this age, a lot can be shared through technology.
    
    I had several "meet & greets" but only after extensive Emails, chat, and phone calls. I never told anyone my real last name until I had seen them at least 3 times. Those who are in a hurry (or only want sex) won't invest that amount of time. I never told anyone where I actually lived (the city on the dating site was never accurate.. only close) until after we had met at least twice and done some kind of "daytime" activity.. such as go to a movie, go on a picnic, go to the races, go shopping... People can be very different during daytime/daylight hours!
    
    There are some wonderful people out there just trying to find the "right one" and I had two relationships that were over 6 months. One of them is still a good friend and the other developed a disease and died (yes... very sad!!).  I thought I knew what I "wanted" in a spouse but what I really learned over a few years was what I DID NOT want!!
    
    There were times I got frustrated and just took a break for myself for a few months...clear my head... focus on other wonderful things in my life...and so on. But...
    
    I did meet my husband on-line and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me! We are both nearing retirement so our priorities in life are probably a bit different than when we were in our 20's or even in our 40's but we are so happy we found each other (we lived in different states).
    
    So, while it's not for everyone, I would say BE CAREFUL and be selective on who you choose to meet face-to-face (in a public place always) but don't give up!!  The right one could be right around the corner...next week or next year :-)

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Great Answer. Congratulations and thanks for the fabulous tips! Learn to be safe first and then we can concentrate on having fun! It is very true that men who are only interested in sex will not stick around very long, so they filter themselves out.

       replyreport
33. 93

    Kylyssaposted 8 years ago

    I found my partner of the last nine years online. However, I found him through a common interest site rather than through a dating service although I'd tried online dating sites before. We got to know each other online in ways we'd have never gotten a chance to know each other offline. I have autism and he's very shy so if we'd met in person first, neither one of us would have gone up to the other and started a conversation.
    
    Interaction online is human interaction. The way to get to know people is to talk to them. For autistic people like me, the internet provides a mode of communication. It also gives me valuable time with the other person's words to figure out what they really mean and to even ask a friend if I'm in doubt!
    
    There's little way to know by looking if someone is shallow, materialistic,  controlling, or hateful, but you can know by conversing enough times to get a better picture of their character. I had many long conversations online with my partner before we met in person and they showed we were very compatible and made each other laugh.
    
    When I met him in person, I discovered that he's even more gentle and sweet than he came off as in our online conversations, something which hardly seemed possible. I can't even express the level of comfort and compatibility we share with each other.
    
    If only I'd had a few months of online conversations with my ex-husband before we got together, maybe I'd have figured out he was extremely controlling, prone to anger, and gay before I married him.
    
    As dashingscorpio said, the Internet is a communication tool and it's up to us to use it correctly.
    
    I only had dates with two people I met via dating sites, but I did like the way I could tell from peoples' profiles if they were definitely not for me. I did not like how chat boxes would pop up almost constantly when I'd visit the site I used. I'm not even physically attractive so I can only imagine how many attractive women get.
    
    However, I have used online dating sites to find friends! Some of them have a 'friends' option or setting and it can be very useful. I have found two very nice, long-term friends via dating sites.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       That's the thing, Kylyssa, shy people almost, if not always, do better "meeting" through the written word. Introverts need time to think about things. Kudos to your man for having the patience to chat. I am very happy that you found a wonderful guy!

       replyreport
    2. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I have often fantasized about meeting someone in a ski town through a dating site. That's why I tried eHarmony. I got a lot of contacts from ski areas, but it's really hard to develop a relationship when you're not there. It's also very risky.

       replyreport
    3. 93

       Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       How is meeting someone you've conversed with for several months more risky than the old-fashioned method of meeting random strangers you bump into at a bar, club, or singles event?

       replyreport
    4. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Not sure who you are speaking to Kylyssa. Can you clarify?

       replyreport
    5. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       When I picked up the one guy I'd met through eHarmony, he made a bunch of jokes about axe murderers. He was ok, but I saw how easy it would have been for him to murder me during the 1/2 mile between his hotel and the restaurant.

       replyreport
    6. 93

       Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I'm speaking to Yoleen, who commented on my answer and said "It's also very risky."

       replyreport
    7. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I see. My understanding is that Yoleen grew up in a rough part of town where there were a lot of dangerous men. I think that is likely in the back of her mind when she attempts to date. Correct me if I am wrong, Yoleen. I know you have shared some..

       replyreport
    8. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       SD - you're absolutely right. It bothers me tremendously that no sooner have you met someone, you have to be alone with him in a car if you're going to date. I have problems getting past that.

       replyreport
    9. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       It's not easy, Yoleen. There are some good therapists out there who focus on the specific problem and don't go back a million years. Something to look into. There is also a term called catastrophic expectations, but I am not a therapist. ;

       replyreport
    10. 80

        Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        I've been attacked several times, but never in a date setting. I knew someone who was. The guy put out a weird loser vibe. But not all attackers do, so how can you tell?

        replyreport
    11. 0

        savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        You have to take your time, before you even get in the car. If he will not give you the time you need to communicate first, then he's not for you. Always follow safety tips and listen to your gut; angry reactions to your questions are off limits.

        replyreport
    12. 80

        Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Do either of you believe in the Law of Attraction? I hope I can use it to get out of this rut once and for all this year, so I can date. PS: check this out! LOL!
        http://www.complex.com/pop-culture/2013 … o-part-of/

        replyreport
    13. 93

        Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Yoleen, never get into a car with someone you've just met! Spend a few months chatting online and only then meet up at a public place you drive to separately the first few times at least. Or have a double date with a couple you know well.

        replyreport
    14. 0

        savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        The law of attraction states that" every positive or negative event that happened with you was attracted by you." The problem is that when something bad happens, you blame yourself, but it is not your fault if a random act of violence happens to you.

        replyreport
    15. 93

        Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        In response to whether or not I believe in the "Law of Attraction" I have to say no because I don't believe in anything supernatural. I think the concept is unhealthy because it puts blame on innocent victims.

        replyreport
    16. 0

        savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Unfortunately, that is true. It is the "dark side" of the New Age, as some folks end up blaming themselves for everything that goes wrong in their lives. They end up thinking they're not good or spiritual enough & are apt to become a bit neurotic

        replyreport
    17. 80

        Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Thanks, you guys. My first experiences with New Agers were negative; I found them to be manipulative. I've since discovered they're not all like that, but like everything else, you must screen what's taught through reality.

        replyreport
    18. 70

        Ken Burgessposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        "through a common interest site rather than through a dating service"  this,,, and it goes for more than 'dating' it goes for finding people with similar interests and beliefs for almost anything.

        replyreport
34. 60

    Tommy Blakeposted 8 years ago

    From my experience, online dating in the form of Tinder is very popular with students right now! Many students I know are on Tinder, and it is startling how frequently and easy one can meet with others. I can't say I like it very much. Online dating is definitely an easy way to arrange a coffee date or meet someone new, but I think sometimes it is better to just ask in person.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I love that you are willing to ask a woman out in person. It's almost unheard of nowadays. Ha!. It's not easy to risk rejection, but asking in person most definitely helps in building upon our social skills. Thanks for dropping by, Tommy.

       replyreport
35. 56

    jerrycarmanposted 8 years ago

    I did not ever date anyone online. You might be dating someone who wants to rape you or man-handle you so do not deal with people online!

    replyreport
36. 60

    fpherj48posted 8 years ago

    Hi savvy,  Good to see you again. I see online dating as a good thing for those who choose to go that route.  I don't believe it is a positive option for everyone.  I do know 2 couples close to me that met, dated & married via online connection.  Both are (I think) exceptional.  Knowing these people, it's easy to see they certainly matched up with the ideal person for them.
    Both couples have been married for several years and are going strong.
    
    Just as most of us have heard the horror stories and the utter failures, I have too.  IMHO, failures occur daily in relationships regardless of where, how or when the individuals met.  I don't think we can necessarily attribute any issues to the fact that they availed themselves to "online dating."
    
    As well as I know myself, I haven't a single doubt nor reservation that the online dating option is simply not for me.  I have not even entertained the notion.  I'm actually not interested in dating currently, for one thing but wouldn't consider online if I was.
    
    My life is happy, comfortable and I'm over-scheduled with activities that keep me running daily.  I realize I wouldn't have the spare time to focus on dating (or on another human being) in the way that a future relationship would deserve.  (Know what I mean?)  In other words, it makes no sense to me to search for something I'm just not ready to deal with at this time in my life.  I do not suffer from loneliness nor do I pine for a "partner."
    Surely, were I to inadvertently meet an extraordinary person with whom I click, I'm not a fool.  I think I might just give it a try.
    In the meantime, I'm A-OK!!   LOL.   Have a great day! Paula

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Hi Paula...the thing about online dating is---it is the epitome of "kissing" (not literally) a lot of frogs & wondering if the pond has a prince or two. That's the most discouraging part, so I don't blame anyone for skipping the online scene. Lol

       replyreport
    2. 60

       fpherj48posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       LOL  savvy....I don't know many women who HAVEN'T had to go through a pond of frogs at one time before finding their Prince!!   Even before the Internet!!  LOL  Now the nice thing about my age is I can spot a FROG before he even surfaces!!  LOL

       replyreport
37. 86

    Stella Kayeposted 8 years ago

    On-line dating can be both a positive or negative experience depending on who you meet. The tricky bit is sifting the 'wheat from the chaff.' Being able to do this comes with experience as the vast majority of people on dating sites aren't genuine. If you don't take the whole thing about on-line dating too seriously, you'll meet some interesting people and have a few laughs even if you don't eventually meet the person of your dreams.
    
    I've written several articles on this subject as there is always some funny anecdote or other to relate when you meet someone new. There will usually be some misunderstanding or other that you and your date can have a good laugh over. Enjoy the company of your date even if you've no particular urge to meet them again and put it down to experience.

    replyreport
    1. 85

       Dakkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       This is completely true. Online dating combines two very troublesome things, which is the feeling of liberty it gives, and people with terrible personalities. You can find amazing people on dating sites, but you'll have to sift through trash first.

       replyreport
38. 70

    Darknlovely3436posted 8 years ago

    I found my partner/best friend through on line dating, that was back in 2009 and this is 2016 and we are still the best of friends.. it start out one evening  with us  playing a simple game of online checkers, then the chatting.. I got to meet him in person and things hit off from there.. so just get to  know this person and see how it goes from there..
    Give on line dating a chance...

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Did you meet him right away or was he a long time coming? Either way, I am very happy for you!

       replyreport
    2. 70

       Darknlovely3436posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       After one year of chatting and getting to know each other, we got the opportunity of meeting and life for us was never the same.
       Once again give on line dating a chance.

       replyreport
    3. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       It is unusual for a man to chat for a year. Most are in a hurry to meet in person. Some even get angry, saying they didn't sign up to be pen pals. Anyway, your guy sounds like a real keeper.

       replyreport
39. 94

    Alessio Ganciposted 8 years ago

    I think it may be good in some occasions (for example, for gay people living in small towns and having difficulties in going to gay clubs). I think there are no particular problems in online dating, but I think three important things should be done:
    
    1.) Ensure the profile is true (so search the photo profile on Google and be assured the photo has not be taken from Internet);
    2.) Pay attention if the person seems really interested to meet with you (and he does not seem too much interested just to sexual things);
    3.) Whenever possible, always meet in public places like cafes the first time: we are still talking about a strange person!

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Hi Alessio....I hadn't thought to search the photo profile on Google. Do you type in their online name? And yes, we are surely dealing with a stranger in the beginning stages.

       replyreport
    2. 94

       Alessio Ganciposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       To search the photo profile on Google, if I use Google Chrome, I just right click on the photo and you will find the "Search photo on Google".
       
       Otherwise you go to http://images.google.com, you will spot a "camera" icon in the search box: just use

       replyreport
    3. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       That's awesome, Alessio! Thank you very much!

       replyreport
    4. 94

       Alessio Ganciposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       You are welcome (unfortunately I ended characters in last comment). To end it, use the "camera" icon, upload the pic, and if you see that pic on other website (eg celebrity pic), it is not original = it's a fake profile!

       replyreport
    5. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       This is vital information - thank you!

       replyreport
    6. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I didn't see a camera icon, but I was on Google, not Google Chrome.

       replyreport
    7. 86

       Stella Kayeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Alessio - Great info thanks! I just tried the photo profile check you suggested with someone I suspected of having a fake facebook profile. It  turns out he's posted a profile pic of some high ranking official in the US navy who's on Wikipaedia!

       replyreport
    8. 87

       cam8510posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I agree with the photo search.  I have used it.  It should be one of the first things a person does when they are contacted and have a photo.  It can save a lot of time and disappointment.

       replyreport
40. 60

    smcopywriteposted 8 years ago

    This is definitely not for everyone. However, it is becoming more popular as well as more common. Stats show online dating relationships are just as successful and unsuccessful as the face to face counterparts. Even the marriage resulting from these encounters are running the same routes. I do not condone the online "hookup" sites which are out there. If dating online works for you who am I to so otherwise. As long is nothing illegal is occurring, good luck.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Several people writing in this Q&A have had immense success, while for others, it was a nightmare. Go figure.

       replyreport
41. 52

    Manjunath7472posted 8 years ago

    I have been dating girls online for a while now and i am finally going to get married with my last date.
    
    What i analyzed is
    Most of the Girls do online dating for  fun and compliments sake.
    Most of the Guys do with lust.
    Some guys and girls patch up and ready to get married.
    
    Luckily, Am the third one.
    
    I love dating for two reasons.
    
    When two strangers meet
    
    > A stranger don't know about your strengths and weakness and you can be totally free and there will be so many things to share.
    
    > If patching up, 2 strangers can plan future without worrying about one's past  and improvise & understand each other and live happily.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I like your analysis, Manjunath. I personally know of couples who met online and later married.

       replyreport
42. 80

    Lee Hansenposted 8 years ago

    I used online dating in the late 1990s. I met a number of interesting men  through AOLs service including the man I ultimately married in 2002 and thought I knew. After a 16 year relationship (married 14 years), I still don't know the real man ... we will be divorced by the end of this year so he can continue a new "relationship" with a much younger woman - an affair he started while I was supporting and helping him with his various health issues. There are no guarantees, no matter how you meet or how much you love and trust someone.

    replyreport
    1. 73

       Sandi Kroegerposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       It's true Lee.. you can never really know. I'm sorry to hear of your loss!

       replyreport
    2. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Thank you for sharing your story so candidly. You just never know what life might throw at you. I am truly sorry you are having to go through this, Lee.

       replyreport
    3. 80

       Lee Hansenposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       It's tough to realize you were blindsided by a narcissist but a relief to suddenly have better vision and to have escaped from the relationship with knowledge and self-esteem intact.

       replyreport
    4. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Blindsided is a good word for it, Lee. The good news is that you have not allowed him to destroy your self esteem, and that you have become even stronger. Nevertheless, betrayal hurts. It hurts a lot.

       replyreport
43. 63

    beaddve1800posted 8 years ago

    There are some good people but there are some really bad people. I would not say online dating is always bad. Sometimes you can meet some really great people online.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       That's true beaddve. The trick is having the patience to sift through all the bad before getting to the good.

       replyreport
44. 87

    cam8510posted 8 years ago

    To paraphrase an hispanic baseball player from a few years back, online dating has been very, very good to me.  I have met some wonderful women this way.  The most positive element is that you should already know some of the things you have in common when you first meet.  Those would have been revealed simply by filling out the forms on the site. 
    
    One woman and I both enjoyed day hiking and were familiar with the same trails in our area.  In a different situation, a woman and I had photography in common.  We even brought our cameras to our initial date.  After five years, we are still together and still taking awesome photos.  With others, the common activity was eating out, walking along the shore of Lake Michigan, reading, writing fiction.  Having a strong common interest is essential to getting a relationship off the ground. 
    
    But common interests don't seem to be enough to sustain a relationship. For me, that seemingly undefinable, intangible element of attraction has been an absolute must.  It isn't enough to like the same activities, you have to like each other.
    
    I'm glad I pursued online dating.  My relationship with Michelle has been a blessing to me for five years, and I believe she would say the same about me.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Words of wisdom, Chris. I agree with your points wholeheartedly. Congratulations on finding a woman with common interests who also touches your heart.

       replyreport
    2. 87

       cam8510posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I'll balance my previous remarks with this. I witnessed an acquaintance involved in an online scam and she was the scammer. She used her own photo, but presented it in a deceptive way. The man traveled cross country to meet her and was very unhappy.

       replyreport
    3. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, my own brother actually did the same thing. The woman was nothing like her profile. That's so wrong if women to do that.

       replyreport
    4. 87

       cam8510posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       and men as well.

       replyreport
    5. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       For sure. I only mentioned women because it is usually the man who will put out the money to fly across the country. Your average woman wouldn't spend that kind of money, but it happens.

       replyreport
    6. 87

       cam8510posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       haha, women do seem to be able to retain their intelligence and their bank accounts
       in these matters.

       replyreport
    7. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       LOL!!

       replyreport
    8. 87

       cam8510posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I just had a thought.  Since HubPages is starting up all these niche sites, maybe they could dedicate one to online dating of hubbers.  Call it HubMate.  Just kidding, of course.

       replyreport
    9. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Not a bad idea. You can tell a lot by people's interactions with one another on this site, not to mention...the subjects authors write about.

       replyreport
45. 73

    lone77starposted 8 years ago

    I had been divorced for 12 years and tried it out. Some sites were complete scams with skillful rip-off artists. Others were interesting and legitimate. In May 2007, I was contacted by a woman from the Philippines and we began chatting every day. Today, we've been married for 8 years, 8 months.
    
    Several months after we were married, the website on which we met ceased to exist. Some of the scams persist even until today. Ironic.
    
    But I'm happy with the end result.

    replyreport
    1. 87

       cam8510posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I like the end result, Rod.  Good for you and for her.

       replyreport
    2. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Wow! You met her in the nick of time. That's amazing. I am very happy for you lone77star.

       replyreport
46. 83

    compu-smartposted 8 years ago

    Online dating has come along way... It used to be only fisherman who used to attract fish online....

    replyreport
    1. 87

       cam8510posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       This reminds me of the name of one of the online dating sites....Plenty Of Fish.

       replyreport
    2. 80

       Say Yes To Lifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       And now it's phishers who phish online.  LOL!

       replyreport
47. 57

    paugomposted 8 years ago

    My best friend found her husband with this method, I think it might be good for some people

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       There's no doubt that it can happen. It's encouraging to hear the success stories, paugom.

       replyreport
48. 52

    Sarah1298posted 8 years ago

    My veiw on online dating is you could meet the one you soend the rest of your life with. But be careful. Someone could say they are this one person then turn out to be someone else. So go for it. But take precautions. Goodluck.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I've tried it. It was just okay...I could take it or leave it. I do agree that one must be very cautious indeed. You are correct about that, Sarah! Thanks for commenting.

       replyreport
49. 39

    hamza941posted 8 years ago

    I do not give too much value to online dating. You can find good persons around you. He/She may be your colleague, classmate, neighbor etc. It will also take too much time to judge a person that you find on a dating site. On the other hand if a person is your classmate, neighbor or colleague you may know him/her more better. I think online dating persons are not too much trusted. You may need to inquire more about online person as compared to other.

    replyreport
    1. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       There is something to meeting in groups or having had the opportunity to observe someone from a distance. Interesting perspective, hamza.

       replyreport
    2. 39

       hamza941posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       savvydating you can visit each and every part as a tourist and learn about different people and their behaviour. Dating is not only way to understand anyone. You can find nice persons around you for dating

       replyreport
50. 59

    redrose65posted 8 years ago

    I have been talking to a man online for over a year now and I wasn't looking to met anyone. just happened we went on the same site, not a dating site either so all online relationships aren't bad.

    replyreport
    1. 39

       hamza941posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       you are just talking. redrose65 you never meet him. Here talk is about meeting. I agree with you that just talking with a person on any site is not bad but i shall never share my personal information with such person as i can not trust too much.

       replyreport
    2. 59

       redrose65posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       your right Hamza ijaz  he and I are just talking until he comes home in December hopefully then we will be meeting.

       replyreport
    3. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Hi redrose. Sounds like he is a military guy.,,, but you don't have to say. Just meet in a public place---only because you don't truly know him yet.

       replyreport
    4. 59

       redrose65posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Yes he is  savvydating . he's planning to come to where I work so we can met for the first time also so my coworkers can meet him

       replyreport
    5. 0

       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       That sounds nice. Have fun, redrose.

       replyreport