So, you or your boyfriend is relocating to another city for school or a new job, and you two are debating about whether you should break up, or try having a long distance relationship.
Forgive my bluntness, but don't even think about going through with a long-distance relationship unless you are both extremely devoted to one another, and willing to make sacrifices for the relationship. If this doesn't sound like you, then you should cut your losses now, and avoid a potentially heart-wrenching situation in the future.
If, on the other hand, you are both ready and willing to handle a relationship from afar, then be sure to read on for some indispensable tips -- if I do say so myself -- on how to make it work.
make time
Of course, relocating to a new city will involve meeting new people and doing new things, but that doesn't mean that your significant other should fall to the bottom of your list of priorities.
It is important to set aside time every day to phone or e-mail each other, without any distractions. Tell each other details about your day, your friends, co-workers, etc., so that you both feel a part of the other person's life; this seemingly small step will go a long way in reducing the distance between the two of you.
visit
Make an effort to visit one another as often as possible, not only when it is expected, such as for holidays. Make sure that it isn't always the same person who is going out of their way for the other, because this will inevitably lead to some serious resentment.
If you don't put in the time and effort to see one another, then you will eventually drift apart, no matter how strong your love is. After all, you need some physical contact to keep a relationship going.
plan ahead
Be sure to organize your schedule so that when he does come to visit, you have nothing to do but spend quality time with him. Tell your friends and family that you are officially unavailable during the time that you and your sweetie plan on being together.
This will not only be enjoyable in itself, but it will also make him feel like her efforts were appreciated, and that he is truly loved.
be thoughtful
Do sweet, spontaneous things to show him how much you miss him. If he's the one who left town, then send him something that he misses from back home, like his favorite snack from the local bakery, or a local newspaper. If he's feeling homesick, send him a photograph of the two of you, or burn her a CD of her favorite songs or songs that makes you think of him.
Even if this sounds a bit sappy, a long-distance relationship is no time to be a challenge; it's a time to keep your man loving and missing you, and looking forward to seeing you again.
relax
As hard as this may initially seem, it is imperative for you to relax and trust one another. In other words, don't start assuming the worst just because your boyfriend is making new friends, or going out more with his friends back home.
If you call and he isn't there, don't automatically think that it's because some girl has come in and taken your place. If you don't trust him enough to let him live his life without you by his side at every moment, then perhaps you should reread my introduction, and admit that you aren't prepared to handle a long-distance relationship after all.
roll with the punches
If one of you only moved temporarily and plans on moving back home, then you will both just have to be patient until that time comes. If, on the other hand, the move seems to be more permanent in nature, you have to decide how long you are willing to drag the long distance thing out for.
Will the person in the other city look for a suitable place for the two of you to live and start hunting out some job leads for the other? Or will you eventually go your separate ways? These are things that you will have to consider at one time or another; and there's no time like the present, as they say.
love him madly
If you decide that you can cope with a long-distance relationship, there are a few key qualities you both must possess for it to really work, namely, loyalty, trust, respect, and love for one another. And I'm not talking about really liking the other person; I'm talking about the uncontrollable, inexplicable, blinding kind of love, which you will do almost anything to hold on to. If you've got that, but can also respect each other as individuals, then you can make it work.
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