How important is forgiveness?

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   Stevennix2001posted 14 years ago

   In a relationship, we're all prone to making mistakes.  Some mistakes are often bigger than others.  however, i would like to ask all of you, what's the importance of forgiveness in a relationship?

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      tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      If you find yourself forgiving all the time, alarm bells should be ringing. Something is very wrong there !

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         Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

           that's true. i forgot about that. 

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      Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      forgiveness. ironic, i was going to do a hub on that the other day and got side tracked.
      
      I think it is the most important thing we can all do, it is "for" and  "give" to forgive is to "for"  "get". Simple, isn't it.
      
      You have nothing to give if you do not forgive yourself and others. The "guilt" gets in the way, on both sides. There is nothing you can receive (get) if you have these other feelings mixed up inside you. Anger, frustration, guilt, jealousy, envy, greed, lust, hate... For giving, and For getting, involve dropping all of these other emotions and feelings, and getting on to the rest... Rest = peace.
      
      When you forgive and forget, you enter into peace with the other individual. Peace is such a sought after commodity, worth more than all the gold. If you have peace you have joy and health.
      
      Yes, Forgiveness is the most important thing.

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         mod2vintposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Not so easy to forgive and forget. I think it would depend on what needs forgiving.

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      sophsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I forgive.....but I never forget!

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         Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Yeah, it was the forgetting part that ruined my marriages! I would try and he just wouldn't so I was like why should I forget, if he won't? LOL
         
         two way street.

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            sophsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Ohhhhh I'm terrible, my last partner cheated so I had to leave I could have stayed with him but there was no point as I'd just throw it back in his face aaallll the time in every argument, and probably accuse him of alsorts, bad I know lol, but I can't forget

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               sophsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               OMG! That made me sound like such a bunny boiler! Lol I'm not honestly!

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                  Hokeyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  I would never do anything that you would have to forgive!

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                     tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     you are making me play the violin too much!

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                  Faybe Bayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  No, but it's true. Yes there are lines that once crossed you can't get over. But in day to day, not just marriage, relationships need give and take.
                  
                  I look at it like this, if we want it to work, we will work at it. If the other person isn't working at it, it is a waste of time. Two way street, meeting in the middle, not wrecking the damn car!
                  
                  Your guy totaled the relationship car, you ought to sue for damages.

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                     Hokeyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     I never wreck the car!

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                     sophsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     Definately agree!

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   pinkyleeposted 14 years ago

   depends on the mistake ... some things i can't forgive and some things i can

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   TheGlassSpiderposted 14 years ago

   I think forgiveness is of the utmost importance...but not for the other person or the relationship - for oneself. Especially if the problem is a big one, if one does not forgive, the anger and whatnot can eat you up inside and be damaging.
   
   However, forgiveness does not necessarily imply that a relationship continues; one can forgive and still maintain boundaries.
   
   Also, I am not one of those in the "forgive and forget camp"; as a matter of fact, I think the idea of forgetting a slight is pretty dumb. First of all, I think it's really impossible to forget when someone really hurts you. Second, one needs to remember - if only for the purpose of not doing to another what has been done to you.
   
   So, to sum up: Forgive always, Forget never.

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   austinlyanposted 13 years ago

   Well, forgiveness is the source of good relationship. Even if we do little thing that will hurt our partners or friends, we need forgiveness. Some people are often unaware of what others would feel when we hurt them. Humans are not perfect but we can forgive one another. If you can forgive others, you will be able to live a life that brings you joy and peace in return.

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   R L Mposted 13 years ago

   it depends whom?
   if the one who is to be forgiven then may be that person cares less to be forgiven but if it refers to a person who wants to forgive then it will eat you to the bones until you forgive;
   it is easy - just do it, get over it, think about more important things like how to help children with cancer;

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   dianne143posted 13 years ago

   We are not perfect everybody commit mistakes. In terms of love we all know that there are no such perfect relationship.
   
   Some mistakes are small others are huge issues which made the relationship sometimes would go up and down.
   
   Everybody deserves a second chance and you can never do that without the so called FORGIVENESS But this would depend to the situation where people sometimes abused. They said 1 is enough for a wise man 2 is too much 3 then you have to decide what is best.
   
   Mistakes would lead either in good and bad way.
   
   The good-it can make a relationship strong to learn from it and love is sweeter in second time around which is true.
   
   The bad- when a person abused and it is no longer good for sure.
   
   In loving we must not expect something in return but we should always not try but we must do our best to our partner.
   
   
   Even if our love one hurts us its important to always give forgiveness even they hurt us badly why? because how the others love us if we do not know how to forgive all wounds will heal in right time. God forgives even he sacrifice his life for us so why can't we?

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   cat on a soapboxposted 13 years ago

   A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and care for each other. There will definitely be times when you fight or disagree, and there may be infidelity. Forgiveness is extremely important in the larger scheme of things. Will one mistake undo all that you've built? Not if the foundation is strong.
   On the other hand, there are circumstances when you will need to stand up and realize that you are being manipulated.  Frequent apologies for bad behavior, drinking, gambling, or sex addictions, and physical violence deserve a hard look. Forgiveness is an act of grace and should never be taken for granted.

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   Lita C. Malicdemposted 13 years ago

   No matter how careful we are in our dealings with humankind, we humans are prone to committing errors. My Christian faith tells me that I must not let a day pass without asking forgiveness, lest my mistakes become compounded, making my life complicated. In the same vein, I want my wrongdoer to patch up with me in order to maintain the good relationship. This is now the bottleneck- how do you forgive one who refuses to ask forgiveness? In such a situation, I still forgive although I can't forget. Shaking the hurt off my system requires a lot of effort but it makes me stronger- to shy away from that person to avert further hurts.

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   know oneposted 13 years ago

   I think its possible to forgive only if the offending party has made appropriate steps to repair any damage. If you won't forgive at that point, then you're simply holding a grudge, and I think that is unhealthy for the aggrieved party. If there is no repair, the wound will fester, despite the bandaid that an undue expression of forgiveness provides.
   
   The 'forget' part of 'forgive and forget' is akin to a whitewash. If we forget, how to we learn from and reinforce the lessons of the past? 'Forgive and move on' more like it.

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