I hate it when people say what others should do...

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   Contriceposted 14 years ago

   ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE NOT DOING IT THEMSELVES!
   
   ---Like the friend, who I know has really good intentions, goes on and on about how awful and disrespectful another child is to their parent (and how it needs to be dealt with) but her third grade son still throws tantrums in public, tells her to "shut her mouth" and was kicked out of daycare (but according to her he wasn't kicked out, she pulled him out...I met the kid, I know the truth)
   
                             OR
   
   ---The friend who is quick to give relationship advice, yet her other half disappears for an entire night.  When he does finally show up, he tells her that he had to stay at a friends house because he could not find his keys or his phone...
   
   WHATEVER!!!!!!!
   
   People who give advice that they will not take themselves sometimes makes me upset.  Does this ever make you frown?

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      wildorangeflowerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      these are just mechanisms because they are in self denial, it is the worst case -- when they refuse to see the problem and they want to project that they are doing well, doesn't help them at all,
      acceptance for some is very hard

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      Home Girlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      It's always easier to give an advice than to follow it. It requires certain maturity and thinking to be able to recognize your own mistakes and admit it.

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         Contriceposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Yeah I do agree.  And lets me just say, I definitly do not want to hurt any feelings (these are friends who have been good to me)...I'm just saying what I can not say to them.  Although I wish I could, I know it would rub them the wrong way.  Like you said wildorangeflower, it's self denial.  I never thought of it as being a coping mechanism and I do agree that being able to realize ones mistakes requires maturity and the willingness to self reflect.  People do not like to admit there faults.

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      camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You know, it's happening all the time. These people who have the audacity to tell others something, offer advice (usually not asked for) and criticize, are usually the most guilty of the very thing they're referring to. Just don't take any notice of them, they're not worth it - they should take a good look at themselves before they look at others, but they wouldn't listen even if you told them so.

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      Goodpalposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Your examples demonstrate how easy it is to preach. It is a double standard - they don't follow what they preach; sure proof of depth-less personalities.
      
      When someone gives you a sincere advice -- he or she is ACTUALLY say it to him- (her-) self while sympathizing with you.
      
      That's the BIG difference very few people know.

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   mega1posted 14 years ago

   Totally know what you mean. It makes me wonder and sometimes laugh - but doesn't really upset me, unless they're trying to tell ME what to do!  ha ha - not a good idea.  Like my friend who continually cancels on dates with me but says I'm the one who does it!  no longer a friend, actually.  seems like a lot of that advice is so mis-directed because those people live in the land of constant denial and never look in the mirror!

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   Uma07posted 14 years ago

   That does make me frown,yes.Like someone said "Advice is like vegetable-easy to serve, difficult to consume"

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      Contriceposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I like that saying

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   rebel46posted 14 years ago

   Oh, my gosh!  I'm feeling the exact same thing right now.  It's very disheartening and discouraging, especially when it presents itself in the arena of parenting.  As a mother of five, I have heard nothing but judgments and criticisms every step of the way.  Parenting is probably the most difficult job we'll ever face and when you constantly hear about what you're doing wrong or how "they" would have done it, it only causes you to question yourself (which you were probably already doing in the first place)!  Sometimes I think these words are given under the pretense of "giving advice" just so that "they" can feel better about themselves.  In other words, "they" need to make themselves look superior to me and they do that by constantly pointing out all of the things that I may be doing wrong (in their opinion, that is).
   
   Where is the encouragement, the understanding or the support?  We all make mistakes and we all have skeletons in our closet.  Why can't we all work together, share our experiences and support each other?  In my mind, it would only provide a generation of more well-rounded, decent people who have discovered the art of teamwork for a greater purpose.
   
   Thanks for your post!  I could go on and on about this topic....but I won't!

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      Contriceposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth.  It is a way to feel superior.---The thinking of a bad advisor---"maybe if I tell them how to fix there problem (even though mine are worse), they will think I know how to handle my own problems (even though I really have no clue)"
      
      Again WHATEVER!!!

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      Friendlywordposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Where is the encouragement, the understanding or the support?
      
      My friend is one of those Gay males that thinks he's a woman, a battered woman, a woman that calls you to stop the man from beatin her Ass, a woman that tells me I'm not understanding or supportive because I call him all kinds of fool. The last time he ended up with a broken eye socket. I told him to never call me again. You dont have to listen to me. You also dont have to bother me when u gettin your ass beat down.

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   Jim Hunterposted 14 years ago

   You should stop this thread.
   
   
   or not

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   paradigmsearchposted 14 years ago

   Yep, there are self-appointed world policeman everywhere. I merely place them in the avoidance category and move on…
   
   Edit: For that matter, I agree with every post on this thread so far.

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      Contriceposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      The avoidance category...I think that's really all that can be done.

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   beebongposted 14 years ago

   So what would you like to do?.

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      Contriceposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well part of me would like to scream "shut the h*** up you idiot, like you have room to talk" but I think for the good of the friendship I should go with paradigmsearch.

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