since when did women need only love. almost every woman i have met needs sex as much or more then love. the biggest difference is men don't tend to use sex as a tool like somewomen do .i'm not trying to be rude but many women want sex but they justify the need by acting like they are looking for love.
I do respect your opinion but that's your experienced.. In my side most man I've known just an opportunist to what the woman felt for then they used it just to get what they wanted.. I don't want to be rude also or to provoke you but this is my honest answer.... it's because because we grew up in different cultures and traditions that is why our experiences were having differences between male and female.
In my culture woman always looking for love because man just likely wanted to have just fun when they wanted to dump a girl they do... but I never experienced that for sure..... I am so very cautions in choosing my partner since I have to protect my self. But I saw and heard that to my friends....
I can`t imagine all men are like that. The ones that are are very ,shall we say, mobile and active. They give everybody a bad name. Maybe they think this is what women expect these days; could it be true? You tell me!
Mostly because most women are passive partners and do not know how to be the aggressive partner in bed. They consider sex as an oblogation rather than a fun and pleasurable thing. Also most women are either afraid or find it disgusting to go the whole route and use their entire body for pleasure.
I couldn't disagree more with you, Dave Matthews. I say this respectfully, but I in no way feel obligated to have sex, ever. I like it, no, LOVE it, and find it to be more pleasurable the more "disgusting" it is. You are speaking to the stereotype, and I am here to tell you that it is just not accurate for a lot of women.
All the women I know love to have sex. If they could have it a couple times a day they would be on cloud nine, not stress work, bills or the kids. Women are much more aggressive and vocal when it comes to sex now-a-days which I think is great and about time.
Saying, "I love you" just isn't enough. Yeah it feels good to hear it and get a hug and kiss but there is nothing better then laying in bed with a man while your making passionate love and he whispers, "I love you." Believe it or not, for many women love is preferrable when expressed and shown through physical activity such as sex.
For those that are romantics that means more because not only are you hearing something that feeds your mind and makes it feel good but you are also at the point of having an orgasm which is making your body feel good as well which is a plus.
You are so right dianne, alot of men don't realize that just by cuddling with a woman, such a simple sensual act makes a hell of a difference in our heart and mind. That actually makes a woman crave them more.
Yes, followed. I've not initiated the lead that leads to having sex, it was the women. Pure assumption again. Forget? I remember each of them as a clear as day. It wasn't something that happened and I simply forgot about it, as I am able to recall and explain it to you, which I thought would be obvious. Yes, it was enjoyed by both parties involved.
I pride myself on my ability to maintain self control, within reason. Actually, women love guys who KNOW what they are doing more than the sex drive each has. Some women cannot keep up with their men, and some men cannot keep up with their women.
It is a matter how satisfied both are with the act itself is what matters most. Just because a man has a penis, doesn't mean he knows how to use the thing.
Women enjoy sex just as much as men do - when they are in love. However, women do not need sex as much as men do. Ask any women who isn't looking for a man! Of course, a woman who is looking forr a man is not going to publicly admit that she doesn't need or want sex because that is going to put off all the men that she might be interested in!
Essentially, when there is chemistry, a woman will want sex. Without the chemistry, she has no interest at all. Women do not want sex in the same way that men do.
Men like to think that but it's not true. Having said that, about 10% of woman have a very high sex drive and I think it could be said that they do think of sex in the same way that men do.
I love your answer you are really a woman... and I do agree to you as. Most of women really don't have interest with that if they don't have chemistry, the feelings for their partner if feels very incomplete, no spark no thrill at all.
There are lots of woman out there who don't need a man because they are happy being single and there are lots of things to do and to be in mind than thinking about the urge for sex.
As most man said they cannot live without sex while woman can.
Pure assumption on your part. Most men can live without sex, just like a woman can. It's a matter of many different factors. Usually, self control is one of them that many men lack, but so does women.
It's interesting the separation created by just this thread, when the truth of the matter is that men and women, in many aspects are no different than others.
Some things that apply to men, also apply to women. It's foolish to believe one is better than the other in any particular aspect. Making comparative aspects of life, only shows the diverse nature of each gender and nothing more.
Each, man and woman, both have the same exact power and potential.
For men, it's a matter of self control. For women where there is no chemistry, no self control is needed because they simply do not need or want the sex in the same way that men do.
Men have testosterone which is known to drive people to sex. Let me share one of my life experiences with you.
I have never had a high sex drive and it only comes into play on those rare occasions where I meet a man where there is chemistry.
I wanted to have a loop inserted which is a method of birth control. The doctors were practising Christians and they thought that would act like abortion and they insisted on putting me on the pill - which I had always avoided.
OMG. My sex drive went from zero to 120 miles per hour. I suddenly saw nothing wrong with becoming a prostitue and sleeping around. I could only think of sex. I dreamt of sex day in and day out. The irony was that nobody was interested because they all thought I was playing or wanted to set someone up. (My reputation for being an ice goddess preceded me).
At the end of three months of pure unsatified sexual hell, I asked myself why I suddenly could think of nothing but sex. I realized it was the pill I was on. I stopped taking it. 48 hours later I returned to normal.
So, Cagsil, sorry, but men and women are not the same sexually. It's the first time in my life I understood what men actually went through. And, yes, there are men with lower sex drives than most men, just as there are women who have higher sex drives than women. But generally, men have a higher biological need for sex.
Yes, of course, there are many aspects in which men and women are similar. However, this thread was speaking particularly about sexual desire. And they are NOT the same.
i have to admit that birthcontroll had the exact opposit effect on me,... i tend to run a higher gear ratio than most women and on the pill it was greatly muted,... didnt like it one bit,.... swithched to the 90 day shot,... omg, my sex drive was non existant,.... i had the ambition of a stone. worst year of my life arguing w/ my dr,... finaly told him to shove it.
read through this whole string and i must say,... it good to be one of the 10% women,.... frustrating at times,... but overall,... no complaints.
not a big fan of the concept of lumping people or sexes together in groups based on gender, age, or what ever ....
i've always been defiantly unique,... and i suspect that there are more than 10% of us out there. when i want sex the threshold is different from when i want a relationship,... and love,.... thats a whole other thing.
However, having spoken to many women throughout my life, I have found that most women give sex to men in order to keep the man. That's why there is so much humor about 'pretending'. Women pretend because they just want to get it over with.
Incidentally, men also sometimes pretend - but not to the degree that women do.
Generally, I repeat, women enjoy sex as much as men do - when there is chemistry.
@logic.commonsense. I think that it's not what a man or woman desires that's the issue. After all, some desire to murder. Other's desire to loaf and be on welfare all week long. Still others desire to take drugs, get high, steal, whatever. It's whether the deisre is for the optimal good of the species - and that means the wellbeing of both genders.
@Diantne, I think there are cycles in human history. I also think that there was a reason for the prevailing wisdom of many millenia that sex outside of marriage was not a good societal norm. Religion confused the issues.
With the advent of the internet, porn has penetrated far more widely than it did previously. For many, it has become an addition, just like food has for some, or drugs or alcohol for others.
Scientists are slowly beginning to understand how human biology works.
Moderation in all things is an epic practice.
I don't think there's any easy way out of the tangle that post modern man has got himself into - well, not without virtually complete destruction!
This is about right - except that it is not post-modern man that has got himself into trouble it is post-modern people. The man is wandering around in search of his metaphorical 'home' and the woman is wandering around the internet looking for how to build a nest.
@bgmaill. I see you are right brained and do not differentiate in terms of small details. Nevermind. I'll explain it to you.
The majority of women ONLY enjoy sex when there is chemistry and love. As I pointed out repeatedly, a woman only enjoys sex if there is chemistry and then she enjoys it as much as any man. However, chemistry is not sexual attraction the way men feel it when looking at porn or a beautiful woman.. Chemistry is a lot more than that. It's when the woman actually likes the man and feels not only physically but emotionally drawn to him. She also enjoys sex when she is in love.
Most women do NOT enjoy sex just for the sake of sex. A woman does NOT look at a man and instantly want sex becausee he is an attractive looking man.
A man's sex drive means that most of them will have sex with anything and anyone immediately it is offered, and especially if it is a offered by a beautiful woman. A woman, on the other hand, will have sex with a man for one or all of the following reasons:
a) She is paid for it. b) She wants something from the guy. c) There is chemistry d) She is in love with him.
A man does not need to be in love with a woman, nor does he need for there to be chemistry. He is sexually stimulated through sight alone.
I suggest you go read some doctoral research on the topic..
If I'm confused, then so is every single medical doctor or scientist who has researched the topic and found the following resutls. These are not my own conclusions. I am merely repeating the research. The link below is a medical website and the discussion is between doctors.
So, women have the same strong sex drive, but it is just kindled by different circumstances and as you say "chemistry". But to say they don't have as strong a sex drive when in the mood for sex would not be correct.
@bgmaill. I didn't say that they didn't enjoy sex when they wanted it. And to have a sex drive means to have it all the time, not just to have it once a year when one meets someone who one has chemistry with.
Men have a sex drive all the time. Women only have a sex drive when there is chemistry. Chemistry, for most women, happens with two or three men in a lifetime.
I have met three men in 40 years wrhere there has been chemistry. The rest of the time, like many of the women I know, sex bores me to tears.
Read the very revealing article below. I guess this is a case of you just don't want to know!
Again, what you are saying is that men have a more frequent strong sex drive and women have a less frequent strong sex drive. Frequency does not equal strength. You have not made the case that men have a stronger sex drive. You are only making the case that men are more easily or more frequently interested.
having read through this section of the string i can honestly say,..... thank you sophia,... i think i'm having an identity crisis now.
i am the sexual equivelant to the 1% biker,..... i am the 10% woman...... and feel very sorry for anyone who is bored to tears with sex,..... if you truely are bored to years,... someone is not ding something right, and life is too short for that, kick it to the curb and trade up.
@bgamall... Let me quote to you my opening paragraph on this discussion because I'm a liittle tired of going around in circles...
"Women enjoy sex just as much as men do - when they are in love. However, women do not need sex as much as men do. Ask any women who isn't looking for a man! Of course, a woman who is looking forr a man is not going to publicly admit that she doesn't need or want sex because that is going to put off all the men that she might be interested in!
Essentially, when there is chemistry, a woman will want sex. Without the chemistry, she has no interest at all. Women do not want sex in the same way that men do.
Men like to think that but it's not true. Having said that, about 10% of woman have a very high sex drive and I think it could be said that they do think of sex in the same way that men do."
?? Sophia, I so disagree with this statement. Every woman and every man are different and have their own sex drive. Those researchers never asked me or other women I know, and we're all professional, healthy, respectable women.
Males, particularly young males, need their status symbols too. However, females have been allowed - by liberal bully laws - to invade their status symbols (in pursuit of their new manhood)... and are making quite a wreck of western civilization countries. But how to get rid of the bully laws (civil rights laws)? I don't know. Sort of like dumping arsenic into a stew and then trying to remove it.
Well! An interesting thread, to say the least. I always tend to seek the common denominater and when it comes to sex,love,desire, ect., I think we all seek self gratification (self fullfillment). Where we find it differs in men and women. It is neither wrong or right, it is simply different. We bond and connect in different places. I think our deepest misunderstanding lies in this assumption, What makes you feel something is what makes someone else feel the same. Men and women relate to movies different and they relate sexually different. I think men find connection through sex (primarily, but not only) and women find connection through (emotional intimacy primaily, but not only ) They can find it sexually, but not primarily. What is important in relationship is to understand where your significant other finds connection and meet them there. We are both looking for the same thing, but, we search and find it a little differently. Women accuse men of thinking about sex all the time. I find that amusing because it is there that he connects, but, she doesn't accuse him of wanting to connect all the time. Men say women want to talk all the time, but that is where she connects and yet, we aren't accusing her of wanting to connect all the time. We owe it to one another to meet the other where they connect. There we bond and if it's a little different, who cares, we have connected.
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