Are Friendships Everlasting?

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   ladypatienceposted 14 years ago

   I don't have a clear answer to this question. I once had a friend I grew up with, 2 yrs before high school we lost contact with each other. Fast forward to 2010 I contacted her through Myspace and certainly was surprised she had an account. SO we messaged back and forth and then the messages stop and the account was deleted. She's always been a people pleaser and I believe her husband didn't want her talking to me or anyone else from her past. So that was that. Although she's married now, I still believe I know her better, she wouldn't have deleted her account if she wasn't forced to. So back to my question, are friendships everlasting?

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      Coach Julieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      True friendships last forever.  They may be interrupted for a time but they are always there.  If you believe your friend is in an abusive relationship (which is often characterized by a spouse not wanting the abused partner staying in touch with people from their past), get in touch with an abuse hotline and ask for advice on what to do to help her.  You won't be able to help her until she's ready but at least by educating yourself on the subject you will be ready when she is.  Hopefully it's something more innocent than that.

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         ladypatienceposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         @Coach Julie She no longer lives in this state, she's somewhere in Florida.

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      ForYourInfoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Dear, there is nothing which lasts forever in this world.
      And there can be many reasons behind her becoming aloof. if she has deleted due to any force to her, that is also fine.
      Because, perhaps, the source of the force is the priority in her life.
      So please don't worry.

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   I found your original post interesting and I've had time to reflect upon the path before you. I see things based on choices. Choices lead to action and that would be on your part.
   
   Apparently, contact has been cut off. The question remain is why? Why did the contact suddenly and abruptly stop? Was it due to force by the husband, his controlling hand? If so, how bad is that control? What level is he controlling her?
   
   If so, why hasn't she stood up for herself? Fear? Afraid of something?
   
   How you proceed forward? (a) do nothing and go on with your life or (b) initiate contact again, or (c) wait a little bit of time to see if she contacts you again, before initiating contact.
   
   Either way, IF you want the friendship to continue, it will take determined effort on your part from here on out. You can find her and deal with consequence together as friends. I recommend caution.
   
   Aside from the above, you need to question your own value of her friendship. What level is your friendship on? What are you willing to do to maintain that friendship?
   
   Just my thoughts.

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      ladypatienceposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      @Cagsil Hi, thanks for stating your opinion. Well she's always been a push over and I was the one who'd protect her from bullies growing up. Well I have waited for her to reestablish contact since the beginning of last year, but I don't think it'll happen. Also I don't know all the details of her marriage with her husband, we hadn't seen or heard from each other in years, so I don't know the level of control he has over her, but I do know it's one notch too much. I'm in Missouri & she's in Florida, so there certainly won't be any traveling going on. I don't know, things will probably stay the way they are, my hands are tied.

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   SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years ago

   ...i try not to over-analyze and read into things...maybe she just disconnected for simple reasons - doesn't mean she's being abused or was forced.
   
   I disconnected from FB because I found it boring basically....i've reconnected recently but only to connect with some hubbers

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   knolyourselfposted 14 years ago

   "So back to my question, are friendships everlasting?" Only for those who are friends for reasons that do not change over time. Otherwise people change and friendships do not last.

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   Emile Rposted 14 years ago

   Are friendships everlasting? I don’t think so. 
   
   Experiences change people over the course of the years.  I recently came across an old friend on Facebook.  We subsequently talked on the phone, made a commitment to find a way to get together (we live on different coasts) but once I hung up the phone, I realized I wasn’t willing to invest the time, or money, in pursuing it further.  We haven’t spoken since. We were friends in a past life and my life has changed dramatically.
   
   I wouldn’t worry about the fact that your friend has not re-established communication.  Maybe she feels the same way I did.

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   Rastamermaidposted 14 years ago

   I've beeen looking at this questions for afew weeks,so I'm going to give you my take on it.
   
   True friendships are everlasting.
   
   My cast of friends range from 40 years to last week. Now I have friends I've made in the last year,that I know are good,honest,wholesome friends and some will become true friends.
   I have friends from 10 years the dynamic is different,locations have changed but the communication is always there. I have college friends that I speak with on FB or our university site.
   But my truest friendships have been the people who knew me before I knew me.
   The truest friendships never end,even in death.You carry that person's spirit with you all the time,they're in your blood,soul and character.
   My truest friend past afew years back,I hear her all the time checking me. Telling me "You know better!" or I find myself making her favorite dish without even realizing it til I sit down to eat.
   
   I feel TRUE friendships are everlasting.
   
   Someone who knows the very heart of you,the cloth you're cut from,and has put in time and work to be a part of your life,despite location,marital status,family status or opinion.

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