For a couple to succeed together in marriage, they have to exhibit a high power of sustainable positive thinking in their marital relationship. Hence they must avoid the following.
· “War-time” thinking.
This involves thinking of how to punish or hurt your partner. It is a childish thinking and a powerful weapon in the hands of the devil to destroy homes.
· Hatred of your spouse.
If you have a bad habit of hating your spouse. You are digging the grave of marriage. Love aids marriage, hatred destroys it. Remove offence and bitterness that destroys love and deal with hatred in your heart.
·Hatred of your spouse’s company.
This normally comes from lack of acceptance of your spouse. It kills love and romance and destroys intimacy
·Hatred of sex with your spouse.
The act of making love with your spouse is true worship. When you deprive each other of this beautiful act, you create a separation and gulf in your marriage. Enjoy each other’s nakedness and don’t be ashamed to touch each other.
Many couples begin to feel they made a mistake in a choice of a life partner after the wedding. The problem is not actually a wrong partner but that of bad attitudes or habits. Ignorance aids bad character, therefore, you both have to change your thinking.
Positive thinking Understood.
Let me expose you to some positive thoughts that are good for your marriage.
Preach to each other and don’t allow offences to grow in your heart. For example, you may say “Bisi why are you angry with your wife for coming home late? It must have been heavy traffic that held her back. It can also happen to you”. If you can think like this, it will be amazing the way your emotion will respond to it, positively. Note that all of us use some form of negative auto-suggestion unconsciously.
·Past deeds booster.
If you can remember your partner’s good deed continuously, it will change your attitude towards him or her. Unfortunately, the only things we remember about our spouse are their past mistakes.
Magnify the qualities of your spouse. Talk about them often; you will be surprised.
Be thoughtful. Relax and think of one or two good things you can do to make your spouse extremely happy. Relax, think. When last have you thought of how to make your spouse joyful?
·Feeling of self-worth.
Feel good about yourself, accept yourself, and see yourself as a person of worth, a celebrity, a VIP. If you don’t accept yourself. You won’t value the people in your life.
·Feeling of trust.
Learn to trust your spouse, except he or she displays reason not be trustworthy. Don’t ever permit feelings of distrust in your heart.
·Feeling of love.
Let love overwhelm you. Let the arrow of love strike your heart. Be claimed by love; don’t give room for hatred.
·Thoughts of acceptance, contentment, value and honour.
Accept your spouse with all your heart be content with him or her. Value and honour your spouse with all you have.
Wives should learn submission to their husbands while husbands should allow their wives influence them.
Be ready always to appreciate your spouse and apologize for wrongs.
How to Develop Positive Thinking
1. Guide your heart against negative thinking.
2. Whenever anything negative crosses your mind, respond with four positive thought and words.
3. Stop guessing what would have gone wrong with your family.
4. Read, study and memorize the scripture daily.
5. Stop brooding over past mistakes and errors.
6. Move with positive minded people.
7. Read motivational books.
8. Meditate upon the word.
9. Speak the word.
10. Confess positive things always.
11. Listen to motivational messages.
Agree. But I think all of these symptoms indicate lack of honest communication with the partner which is death eventually. If two can't communicate honestly, then they shouldn't be together in the first place.
The problem with positive thinking is we can't always count on the positive thinking mind. We go in and out of the part of the mind that is molded by experience, emotions, dare I say our karma.
Granted each person has the same struggle so how can two people equally come from that place of complete positive thinking?
I think it has to be deeper than that. That each person in a relationship needs to be a pioneer in their own progression of becoming a person of compassion, love, respect, gratitude and a host of other higher level modes of being. Mind I did not say thinking. I said BEING.
Being implies there is no thinking, no need for thinking because it becomes natural.
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