Bisexuality and religion in relationships

Jump to Last Post 1-4 of 4 discussions (6 posts)
  1. Jonathan Janco profile image66
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    A friend of mine just started dating a woman who admitted on the first date that she was bisexual. The way he described it to me later I sensed he was a bit uncomfortable about it. He also mentioned to me that he has never experienced this before (dating a woman who is openly bi). He also communicated a slight discomfort with the fact he has never dated a non-christian before (the woman in question is a self-described wiccan). My friend is a very open-minded and tolerant person and definitely more Christ-like than a practicing Christian, but is struggling with his views on traditional sex roles. He tries to be open to her views but I can tell he's having a tough time with it. That being said, he does genuinely like the woman and I can see them having a future. I on the other hand have never dated a woman who wasnt bi (not deliberately mind you) and very few of the women I've ever dated would describe themselves as Christians. So, what he described is kind of passe from my point of view. So, I found it difficult to offer advice to him. Anyone who has such advice is welcome.
    Also, if you've been in a situation like this where a serious romantic interest caused you to challenge your own views, how did you feel about it and what did you do to resolve the conflict it created in your mind?

    1. healinghands1668 profile image73
      healinghands1668posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Personally, I do not think I would have trouble dating a man who was bi.

      I was actually almost-involved with a bi man back in Chicago. I say almost involved because the two of us danced around our obvious mutual attraction for several months before finally admitting it. At that point, though, I was set in my plans to move to Georgia and he was set in his to remain in Chicago, and neither of us really wanted the strain of a long-distance relationship. But we've remained good friends, and I still find him sexually appealing.

      I still chuckle when I think about him 'coming out,' as bi to me. I was a little bit surprised only because his attraction to me had been very obvious, and I tend to think of people as either heterosexual or homosexual until they actually tell me they're bi. (Which actually seems strange now that I think about it, because I have more bisexual friends than homosexual friends.) But actually what makes me laugh is the way he explained the difference in his attraction to men verses his attraction to women:

      "I might be sexually attracted to a guy, but I wouldn't want a relationship with one because...well, men are jerks. There are plenty of pretty men out there. It's much easier to find a woman who is pretty *and* nice."

      Anyway...I suppose I'll close this sleepy rambling with some actual advice:

      If the relationship is monogamous and mutually respectful, there is little reason why this girl's sexuality should interfere. Though she may comment on an attractive woman--or man--if she does not belittle your friend with such comments or make him feel inferior, and he can trust that she means them harmlessly, they don't have to be disruptive.

  2. Boryjustme profile image60
    Boryjustmeposted 7 years ago

    Hi, well nothing against the people that has different sexual preferences or religion, but to me if I'm going to plaw a landfield I must use two bulls. Ican't not use a donkey and a bull , beacause one of them would have most of the work. That being said is more about convinction, and if is ready to tolerate this girl preference more to him, but I think in the long run it will be a headache.

  3. profile image0
    Emile Rposted 7 years ago

    Wow. That's a lot to overcome. I think your friend needs to think this through very carefully; for the girl's sake. He may be able to overcome his phobias now, but later on down the road in the relationship; will he push her to change? That's what usually happens.

    If he can't come to terms with complete acceptance of who she is he had better commit to keeping the relationship light and unencumbered by emotional attachments.

    1. kerryg profile image86
      kerrygposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I'm inclined to agree with this. I had a pair of friends who were in a fairly similar relationship in college, with the additional complication that she was vegan and he loved meat. They eventually realized that they just didn't have the same vision of what their future together would be like - his egalitarian but ultimately traditional, and hers much less so. They weren't able to reconcile their different expectations and ultimately broke up, although they've remained good friends.

      I'm definitely not suggesting that it's impossible for a couple like the one Jonathan described to work out, but based on my experience, I would bet against it.

  4. Jonathan Janco profile image66
    Jonathan Jancoposted 7 years ago

    I like the responses, ladies. I thought maybe this thread was dead and buried after the first couple days, but the three of you brought it back to life. Just as an update, I have met the woman in question since I first started this thread and I hit it off with her very well. This is unusual because he is one of my closest friends and there is often some apprehension between me and the women he dates. But this time everybody got along great. All in all, I hope these two work out because it seems now that I've seen them together that they do seem to fit together.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)