What do you do when..need advise...

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   Extinct Soulposted 13 years ago

   Ok, so I've just said something that I wasn't suppose to say. I was just carried away by the conversation. And let's say that that something is not good. It made their eyes broaden, eyebrows squirms, none of them reacted with sounds and the awkward silence. And there is nothing I could do to fix the situation.
   
   My problem is this, that scene replays in my mind atomatically without my brains permission. What can I do to erase it?

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      seriousnutsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Extinct Soul,
      The thing is,  no matter how careful you are, you are still bound to commit social blunders. These blunders might be either offensive or embarrassing. If your mistake has been offensive, offer an apology to the party affected. If it's the latter, you have nothing to do but to forget what had happened and move on.
      
      Don't worry. Since it just happened recently, you tend to have flashbacks about it. The best thing to do is to just push the thoughts away. Be preoccupied. Replace these unwanted thoughts with pleasant ones. Don't be obsessed with pushing these thoughts away though, they will still come back to haunt you. You just have to acknowledge that things like this happen, and everyone has some similar experiences some time in their lives. Learn to accept it. The best cure is time. Be patient. Soon enough, these unwanted thoughts won't bother you anymore.

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         Extinct Soulposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for the help seriousnuts... what you've said was clear as the sun..

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   Jonathan Jancoposted 13 years ago

   Everyone says these sorts of things now and again and some more than others. It's natural to be embarrassed about them because it shows you consider the feelings of those around you. Would you rather be one of those people who say whatever they want and dont care because they think they're better than all others? Would you rather walk around with the insane delusion that people like you?

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      Extinct Soulposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      you're right....thank you for making me realize the nice thing behind my stupidity..

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   mega1posted 13 years ago

   I say stuff that goes over like the old lead balloon, all the time!  That's why I'm online, so I don't see the reaction.   But really, keep saying those things, maybe even more often.  Pretty soon the people around you will relax, for pete's sake, and they'll start saying goofy things, and then it will get very interesting, when everyone is open and relaxed and responding with good humor.  If that doesn't happen, look for some less uptight friends who understand you! 

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      Extinct Soulposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Ok..uhmm..I'll be trying what you've said, and you're right, I'm really in a company with some ohmeegosh people, but I can't avoid them. Cause if that case happened with my true friends, my conscience wouldn't be bothering me this much.
      
      Can I have a follow up queston? what if they plotted some oh-I-didn't-mean-to-say-that-too vengeance, what should my reaction be?

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   Home Girlposted 13 years ago

   We all say stupid things, some do it more often (like me for example). Just do not regret it for long, life is not worth it. Apologize, if you can or may be wait till somebody says something stupid to you and you'll understand that you are not the only fool on the planet Earth.

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      Extinct Soulposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      hahaha.. I already feel the excitement of hearing them say something stupid too..

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   paradigmsearchposted 13 years ago

   Miscommunication issues can be fixed. Awareness is the first step. You have done that. Second is of course...

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      Extinct Soulposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      ....the flashback?
      or the backfire?
      or some fire?

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         paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         There are too many unknown variables. Only you can figure out how to proceed from here.

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