Okay, first off- I'm not married. Which is the category you put this under. Secondly, lights on or off, makes no difference. When that close to whomever is there, I can see. I've better than 20/20 vision, which is helpful.
Many women feel uncomfortable with themselves in the light. Media tends to make many believe if they are not pencil thin, men will not find them attractive. It all depends on the woman. Preferences all depend on the woman.
Dim light. The closet light on, the overhead off. Stark light is great for a demigod; but muted lighting seems to make me feel comfortable with what I perceive as my imperfections without being rendered completely blind.