Relationship Bicker of the day: Am I wrong? Or did they over react?

1. 86

   stylezinkposted 13 years ago

   Everyone in a long term relationship runs into petty arguments from time to time. Most recently one happened in mine, that puzzles me right now. I have no clue what the hell the big deal was. So please read on and tell me, did they over react? Or am I wrong for doing what I did?
   
   Last night, my significant other and I were sitting in our room, on our bed together, and watching TV. I finished my water bottle and handed it to my other half to toss in the trash can. The trash can in our room is located right next them on their side of the bed. I figured it wasn't a big deal since they were sitting right next to the can. Apparently, I was wrong. My partner layed into me right away and snapped, "You're getting too used to doing this!" OMG! I thought to myself. I replied, "What? You're sitting right next to it." With my reply I set myself up for a 10 minute lecture about how I was wrong and how I shouldn't make it a habit.
   
   Do you think I was wrong for assuming it wasn't a big deal to toss the bottle. Or do you think my partner over reacted about it?

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      SimeyCposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Just start throwing it over partner into the trash can - as soon as it starts hitting your partner, by pure accident, your partner will start putting it in the can again!
      
      Of course you could simply move the trash can to your side of the bed and see how your partner deals with getting out of bed!

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      1. 86

         stylezinkposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         LOL, Too funny, I'll save that for when I'm in a crappy mood or p.o.'d at them. I like the idea of moving the can as well and see if they like getting up.
         
         Petty little things that go on in relationships sometimes, lol.

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2. 64

   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   I think maybe the person did over-react, but I can also see how obnoxious it could be to have someone make a habit out of handing you his/her trash to throw out.  (But, was that the second time, or a "millionth" time?).  Either way, I'd guess it may have been a "straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back" kind of reaction on the partner's part.    You could solve the problem (minor as it may be) by either moving the trash, or putting a bag on your side of the bed and taking care of it later.  People don't like to feel (even just a little) like some else's servant.
   
   Personally, I think I would have taken last night's trash one more time but kind of made a joke of it and said, "Would you mind putting a grocery bag on your side because I don't feel like dealing with your trash on a regular basis."  So, I suppose I'd vote for "over-reacted".   In fairness to your partner, though, some people seem to find themselves always being the one someone else SEEMS to treat as a "servant" (wrong word, maybe, but anyway).  So maybe if it was "straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back", it might have been a buttons-pushed kind of thing.

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3. 71

   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   Maybe you should have taken time to throw it out yourself. You could have gotten up and walked around the bed and thrown it out...it shouldn't have been that difficult. Secondly, you could have just taken the opportunity to stretch across your significant other(saying excuse me) and dropped it in the trash.
   
   The second option also gives you the opportunity to brush up against your significant other, which could have lead to other things, such as a kiss or embrace. I know, I've done it in the past with significant others.
   
   If this has been an on-going situation, you asking to throw something in the trash, then it wouldn't be an over-reaction on your significant other's part. It would be a sign you're too lazy to do it yourself. Again, if this is a habit of yours, then yes you would be wrong. If not, then it wouldn't be and would be an over-reaction on your significant other's part.

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4. 86

   stylezinkposted 13 years ago

   I can agree maybe just need to get the a trash can for my side too.
   I can also agree with the idea of reaching over and it leading to other things.
   
   But I am FAR from lazy. I take care of the entire house by cooking, cleaning [dishes, dusting, laundry, ect.], the dogs, the cats, the yard, the kids, and I go to work.

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      Hollie Thomasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      So what responsibilities does partner have? I'm only asking because perhaps he's the lazy one.

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         stylezinkposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I don't think that is really important here. Each of us has a great deal of responsibility in keeping our home together. The question didn't say anything about anyone being lazy.

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      couturepopcafeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Sounds like the honeymoon's over.  Reaching over will cause a problem, too.  Leave the water bottle on the floor or on your night stand until morning.  He'll probably come around and ask if you want him to pitch it.  But really, I don't know anyone that has a trash can by their bed unless they have a cold and need it for lots of tissues.

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      1. 86

         stylezinkposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I could just leave it like you said on the night stand and pitch it myself in the morning. I don't see them volunteering for that, lol.
         
         Oh, and Hi, couturepopcafe! I'm stylezink! Nice to meet you, I keep a garbage can next to my bed, lol!

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5. 75

   S G Huppposted 13 years ago

   Maybe it isn't about the water bottle.  Maybe there is something else which may or may not even have anything to do with you, bothering your partner, and the bottle just chipped off a spark.

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   1. 86

      stylezinkposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Very good point there. It could have very well been. We've both been under a lot of stress at work lately. And I just may have pushed their day over the top. I'll have to keep that in mind. I'm guilty myself of redirecting my anger at times. Thanks S G Hupp!

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