Do you ever apologize when you've had a fight with your significant other even though you're right?
Sometimes being right isn't as important as a relationship. However, sometimes, I wish my SO would apologize when he is wrong so we can move forward. He will NOT ever apologize. It doesn't even matter if he is wrong and KNOWS it, he will not apologize. Then when it is just too much to keep the point going, I end up either apologizing for making a big deal of things or just let it go and let him get by with the whole thing. It gets to be too much sometimes and I want to SCREAM! Other times I wonder why it really matters. Maybe it's respect.
If you're in the right just state firmly but respectfully that you're sorry both of you can't agree on the issue. Then be silent. Just be content that you're right without insisting that you deserve an applause or an apology. Revel in silence and in the knowledge that one day your spouse will discover that you were right. Don't wait for him to admit it either.
If I believe I'm right, I never apologize for disagreeing because that would mean I am invalidating my Self and my reality. I *do* apologize if I fight unfairly, react inappropriately, if the timing was inappropriate for the conversation/argument, etc. I'll even say I'm sorry that he is upset to the degree he is or something soothing to help bring him back to an even keel so we can discuss rationally.
When I'm wrong, I'll cop to it and apologize, because 1) I don't want it weighing on my SO's mind and heart and 2) I'd want him to do the same if/when the situation is reverse.
these type of individuals are the worst. Not to say anything negative about your SO but this type of behavior can put a heavy strain on one person being that it can make one confused and delusional. One would think that if someone loves them they will apologize when wrong. As a matter of fact they will try to refrain from offending, hurting or harming their SO. But when this is not so and their behavior is rampant and disrespectful you come to believe you are living a lie as well as wasting your time unconditionally loving someone that really doesn't love you. The reality of a relationship as such can be disappointing as well as overwhelming. Most of the time their actions and behavior is always geared towards their own favor. #gofigure ##Immature
Yes, I always apologize after every fight -- the exact type of apology will depend on what the fight was about, and whether or not I was right. Obviously, if I have come to the realization that I am wrong, I will apologize and let him know that I now see he is right. If I still believe I am right, I will say that I am willing to agree to disagree if he is, and I apologize for having handled my feelings about it badly. I believe we each have every right to express our thoughts and feelings to each other, but allowing it to devolve into a fight is never a good thing, and can only be done if both parties allow it to go there.
Yes, quite frankly, I do.
I apologize for the misundertstanding, the pain that my stand causes, and for the intestinal fortiude that he must muster up in my defense,..............he WILL defend me ( against 6 brothers) and any other foe.
Even, when and if, if he does not align himself with my "personal opinion" or stand, He will be there , in the shadows, ready, willing and able to defend me, his wife..........
Yes, I sometimes, owe him an apology for the positiion that I put him in...........he KNOWS that I do not put him there lightly.
We are not talking movies and popcorn, here, ............we are talking about the trials of life.
YES, if, I ever, I have let him down, mispresented him, put him into an uncomfortable stance...............YES, I do and will apologize................
Yes, even, though, I was " right"........his feelings were hurt, or disregarded, set aside, given less value than they deserved...............OH, YES, I will apologize to my loved one , if I ever, once, made him feel less valuable than he is......
WHAT is the problem with that?
He will be there.................no matter the cost of his daughter's dancing dress.
PLEASE.................if you think that you are in a " relationship"............grow up......life is not easy.........love is not error free..........those storybook endings, where done in charcoal..........grow up to be grown up.
Very rarely if ever.
I actually believe the majority of time in relationships there is no "right" or "wrong" but rather it's "agree" or "disagree". Ultmately we're all looking for someone who (naturally agrees) with us on the major things in life. No one should feel obligated to apologize for not agreeing with someone.
Fights that deal with how towels are folded, dishes stacked in the dishwasher, bed was made, or whether or not something was done a certain way...etc Can't be won! They are based upon a person's opinion or personal preference. (There is no "right" or "wrong") People change when THEY want to change. Loving someone means accepting them the way they are.
Arguements that deal with facts which can easily be proven usually with paperwork, receipts, or witnesses...etc These are the only fights worth having.
The fights that upset people the most are those that rely on one's "memory" of something that was "said". Your mate tells you "I never said that" and it drives you nuts because you know with every fiber of your being that they did! However there are no video tapes or recordings to prove one way or the other. It makes no sense to esculate it into a heated argument because that's not going to "jog their memory". In fact it will do nothing but make them take a harder stance. If you know something can't be proved either way there is no sense in turning it into a fight. Go for a walk, listen to music, or do whatever puts you in a better frame of mind.
Thanks for the answers, one and all. The little things are unimportant in the scope of the world. I don't care which way the towels are folded, toothpaste is squeezed or where he puts the dishes he dries. I do care if he will look me in the eye, lie about something, then when it comes to light, will not apologize. I am a peacemaker and work diligently to keep EVERYONE in my life at peace with everything in their lives. I only ask for honesty and the respect from him to be told the truth or apologize when he has deliberately done something, major, to cause distress. Lying about backing the car into my son's truck then not apologizing when found out...is disrespectful. Then he is offended when it causes an argument. I have to either blow it off or apologize myself to him for it to go away.
I just wondered if I was the only one who accommodates the SO. I am not a fool, but I feel a fool today for apologizing so there is peace in my home again. Being right isn't good enough....I want respect. Not sure it is possible.
Possession is 9/10 th's of the law. Whoever has the most power is always right as far as the law is concerned and so we might want to chose to follow the law, even if we know that the law is flawed. This way we are not bound by their law.. and instead we exceed it. We are asked to run 1 mile and we run 2 miles instead.
God yes i do it all the time even if i know im wrong or right. My husbands never says sorry if his wrong or right. I think im the weak one and always feel like im the bad one even if im not!! x
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