Friendship of different gender without sexual desire

Jump to Last Post 1-4 of 4 discussions (5 posts)
  1. beingwinner profile image56
    beingwinnerposted 9 years ago

    I have some online male friends, mostly single by divorce. As a married woman, I always tell them my marital status.  The first time, our friendship was good, we had chit chat to kill spare time.  I enjoy having friendship of different gender as most men speak their mind.  Finally, most of the time, we broke up our friendship after I sensed their sexual passion on me and tried to actualize it.  I now wonder: is it possible to have a friendship of different gender without any sexual desire?

    1. vparker profile image61
      vparkerposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I think over time unless they are of a different sexual orientation that the attraction will develop between at least one of the parties involved. I've had a lot of so called male friends disappear after they realized I wasn't going to be with them. I also know a lot of  straight guys who have lots of female friends, they have all been players.

  2. TheMagician profile image91
    TheMagicianposted 9 years ago

    It really depends.

    Most of my friends are guys (I get along with women just fine, but most of the girls around here just really aren't friend material to me), and I can definitely say I rarely have your issue. My best guy friends I made around the age of 9 to 13, and I cannot look at them in any other way but as a friend or brother of sorts, and the same goes for them with me being a sister of sorts.

    Even guys I meet now we're just friends and there's no issues at all. There's no innocent flirting, no touchiness, none of that. One of my best friends (I met him when he was 20 and I was 16, we're now 22 and 18 respectively) I met at a party and we bonded over shared interests such as video games and comics. We both understood that even though we got along awesome, it just didn't seem right to date, so we're best friends with no tension whatsoever between us. He's been my wingman and I his wingwoman before. Just fine smile

    I have had only one issue where a guy friend liked me but I clearly just wanted to stay friends. He left for a bit but then came back around, and things are okay now. He's a great guy and his girlfriend is very lucky!

    Another best friend of mine whom I met when I was 14 and he was 16, I had a crush on him at first. It soon went away though, and now I couldn't imagine dating him or ANYTHING. It'd be so weird. Oh well.

    Just depends. I've found that my generation is able to be friends with each other regardless of gender much easier than older generations. It also can depend on the scene or subcultures one may come from, but that's just a personal thought.

    On an added note, none of the guys I know are players whatsoever, even those who are friends with mostly girls. They're all very respectful, reliable, and great guys to know. I've watched girls chase after them, and I just sit back and laugh. It's a sight smile

  3. AshtonFirefly profile image77
    AshtonFireflyposted 9 years ago

    Yes I think it's possible. Most of my friends are guys. I'm pretty sure they've never had feelings for me, any of them. Unless they're all lying. lol.

  4. Jonathan Janco profile image60
    Jonathan Jancoposted 9 years ago

    I have many friends who are women. Some have had feelings for me and some haven't. It works the other way too though. I think its perfectly ordinary to have friends of the opposite sex. It's also downright laughable that if you have friends of the opposite sex somehow you have never desired them in some way. Sexual tension in platonic friendships only gets to be a problem when there is some sort of paradox involved, like female friends I've had who were unhappily married and caused friction due to how much time they spent with me. There was nothing going on sexually in most of these cases, but the tension created obstacles for sure. I always try to accept attraction as flattery regardless of who it comes from. Friends, strangers, customers, stalkers, whoever. If they want me to know they're attracted to me I will appreciate that- and if I am not available to that person in that way I will let that be known as well.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)