'Marrying down' is an up-and-coming trend among women

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  1. Stacie L profile image87
    Stacie Lposted 12 years ago

    'Marrying down' is an up-and-coming trend among women
    4 hrs ago

    Are women starting to "marry down?" A new study says brides-to-be are less concerned with the economic status of their mate than they used to be. The Institute for Public Policy Research found that women born in 1958, 1970 and between 1976 and 1981 posted small increases in the number who married men who earn less than they do and vice versa, partly driven by women's advances in the professional world. In other words, the fairy tale "Royal Wedding," epitomizing the old school, could soon be a thing of the past, while Princess Anne's daughter Zara Phillipps' marriage to rugby union star Mike Tindall could be the new trend.
    http://now.msn.com/now-plus/0408-marryi … story.aspx  is this true?...discuss

    1. profile image0
      klarawieckposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      This makes me think of a song by The Eagles:

      "I've got a peaceful, easy feeling, and I know you won't let me down, cause I'm already standing on the ground."

      If you lower your expectations, you won't fall and break your neck. So, when your husband comes and tells you, "Honey, we have no choice but to file for bankrupcy," at least you knew it was within the realm of possibility.

      1. couturepopcafe profile image60
        couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        lol Sorry, that's so funny because it's real life I guess.

  2. Hypersapien profile image42
    Hypersapienposted 12 years ago

    I think there's less of an expectation (or reliance) on men as being the sole - or even primary - breadwinner.  Once that concept is out the window we're in undiscovered country, because now there's the possibility of the man being the stay-at-home spouse, giving up his career, etc.  You probably see it more in the military than the civilian world, but it's an up-and-coming trend, I suppose.  It may involve men swallowing their egos, but it is what it is.

  3. Will Apse profile image88
    Will Apseposted 12 years ago

    If I met either of that couple on a dark night, I would cross to the other side of the road.

  4. Stacie L profile image87
    Stacie Lposted 12 years ago

    I have found in my research,that many men that marry financially and social successful women often fool around on the side with women who aren't as successful financially. It has something to do with the male ego.roll

    1. Pearldiver profile image67
      Pearldiverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Hey... they do far more than that!!!

      They also fool around on their backs with other women who prefer to exert their 'authority' on top!  big_smile

  5. couturepopcafe profile image60
    couturepopcafeposted 12 years ago

    This is likely more of a media hype than a trend. Women tried to marry up in the 'olden days' when women were not viable in their own right. After the 70s, it pretty much went out.

    With the current deluge of tv reality self-made useless no talent celebrities implying get rich overnight, some people believe they can do that, too, so they either want to make it on their own or are deluded into thinking they can marry a celebrity. That's not the majority.

    The real truth is this: most people marry because they want children or because they believe it's the thing to do, they don't want to be alone. Love may have very little to do with it.

    Some, those with their feet on the ground, marry for attraction, love, chemistry. If money is in the mix, it's a bonus.

  6. mega1 profile image78
    mega1posted 12 years ago

    my theory about women marrying "down" :  they may be women in their early child bearing years who are unconsciously desperate for someone to "baby" and so they marry someone they can "create"

  7. Shanna11 profile image74
    Shanna11posted 12 years ago

    I may be shallow, but I want to marry up or preferably marry equal. Marrying up too far would be intimidating and I would feel uncomfortable around his family. But I would never marry down. I have put too much work into myself to marry someone who hasn't worked hard on himself, if that makes sense.

    If I'm working hard in school to have a successful career, he had better be doing the same, is all I'm saying. I will not pull all the weight in our relationship.

    1. Stacie L profile image87
      Stacie Lposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'm with you...I'd look to marry some one equal in status and education...

      1. TamCor profile image79
        TamCorposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        I grew up in a middle class family, with everything I needed, never worrying about money.

        When I met my husband, he was a house painter and a high school drop out. But I didn't care, because he was the most caring, loving man I'd ever met.  If I'd went by his status or career choice, I'd have lost out on the best 23 years of my life.

        He was went on to get his GED, and take classes.  He is now a preventative maintenance technician for JCPenney, traveling around to different stores, and gets paid well for the job.

        The way I look at this new "trend" is that maybe some women are finally realizing that they can find someone to love in any income bracket, and maybe even more successfully, than with just a so-called educated, well-off man.

  8. realtalk247 profile image76
    realtalk247posted 12 years ago

    It's called desperation.  When you settle for less you get less than what you settled for.
    We are in a new age where it is not necessary to expect for a man to maintain entire household.  Two can work together BUT there is a difference between working together and picking up a loser. 
    You look like a fool walking around CEO with a househusband/loser with no career of his own.  It amazes me that these women think these men really love them to death, no what they love is a free ride and meal provided by women with low self esteem.  It's like standing outside the shelter begging someone to love you and be by your side with benefits including: house, free food, no obligation/contribution, money, vehicle.
    It's better to cry all day (from being lonely) than be a fool all night(for paying to have a relationship).
    What's funny: I feel most men who are kept always find some woman on the side where they can more fulfill the roll of provider.

  9. Greek One profile image63
    Greek Oneposted 12 years ago

    according to my wife, yes.. she has proof this trend is indeed true

    1. Disturbia profile image60
      Disturbiaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'd say your wife is pretty lucky.  You're intelligent, got a great wit, and you obviously love her very much.  She could do a lot worse than that.

      1. Greek One profile image63
        Greek Oneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        thanks.. but you forgot about my two best qualities...

        1) My VERY large penis

        2) my wonderful sense of exaggeration


        1. Druid Dude profile image61
          Druid Dudeposted 12 years agoin reply to this


  10. Disturbia profile image60
    Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

    Heck, all I ever do is marry down. Then I pay them off to go away.

  11. mega1 profile image78
    mega1posted 12 years ago

    I just discovered that I cannot "marry up" becuz nobody is higher than me!

    also, I cannot marry down, becuz I have forgot where down is!


    p.s.  you all TRY to have a real nice day!

  12. profile image0
    Arlene V. Pomaposted 12 years ago

    I was watching these women on a TV gabfest a few years ago, and they had made LISTS of what they expected in the men they selected to date.  One woman had a ridiculous amount of "HE MUST HAVE," so I take it that she must spend a lot of Friday nights alone.  No partying for her.

    Also, there was an author who made the rounds of the talk shows, and she pushed women to "lower their standards" and choose a man that they can possibly tolerate in a living situation.

    Marrying down?  It swings both ways.  Anytime you choose a mate without covering all your bases on what you really want, you will be miserable.  But a lot of women set their standards so high that it's ridiculous.  For instance, if you married a man who made less than you and wasn't as ambitious as you, would it matter?  Maybe you don't mind being Sugar Mama at first, but when a man can't financially pull his weight in a relationship or show some interest in getting ahead in life, where does it leave you? 

    You have to truly WANT the person.  Otherwise, forget it.

    1. profile image0
      klarawieckposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      This is true. I'd say that it's best to marry a man that fits your personality because jobs are never secured. He could have a great job when he meets you and lose it two years after marriage, or have some kind of handicap that won't allow him to keep his good-paying job.
      I, for one, could never marry someone who suffers from depression. I can deal with bipolar tantrums from time to time lol but I can't have a man that pulls me down into that dark state of mind. So, if he's not as ambitious as I am, that's fine. As long as he is supportive and shares his good energy with me.


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