Why most women like marry up?

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   tuteramandaposted 12 years ago

   Why most women like marry up?
   
   it seems men is no longer the richer gender

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   JThomp42posted 12 years ago

   Because it makes their life easier. They don't have to work for anything if they do this.

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      tuteramandaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      that is ture,but it really unfair to men,just like a slave

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      JThomp42posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed my friend.

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      peeplesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Ya because we all know raising kids, cleaning house, and taking care of everyone's needs but our own is so easy and never work!

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      JThomp42posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      @peeples.... I was referring to marrying into "big" money if I understood the question correctly?

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   lburmasterposted 12 years ago

   Because it means security. Before getting married, I was in a huge debate on how David would be good for me. One of the debates was finances. He is HORRIBLE with money. I don't trust him with a dime. He gives me his paycheck, and I control ALL finances. Eventually, I settled on the idea that I can work full time and he can work part time to keep the house clean. So far, the plan is going well. But just the idea of marrying up still has appeal. He might not have money, but David centers me and that is enough.

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      tuteramandaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      HI  lburmaster, I FIND WOMEN all around the world often use so called security as a excuse ,if you really consider your husband a family number,why dont you trust him? depriving his property rights and own his money is your so called security?

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      lburmasterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yep. Because he won't give me security so I must make it myself. We each pay half of the bills and what savings we have is what I make; I make more than him is why. I trust him with vehicles, house projects, cooking, etc. Not fashion, not finances.

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   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   @JT - The question stated, "most women."  You can't really believe that of most women. You are usually a very sensible Christian gentleman. Seriously, the question is insulting.  Two people marry, one is likely going to have more money than the other one - unless their finances are dead equal.  So are they marrying "up?"
   
   The person that asked this question is likely to spend his life single with that attitude toward women.

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      JThomp42posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I meant no disrespect at all. I was simply answering his question. A prime example would be Anna Nicole marrying the 90 something year old billionaire. I really didn't pay attention to "most" women? Deeply sorry if I offended!!

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      duffsmomposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      No offense taken, I'm just so used to your common sense responses this caught me off guard!  Peace Hub Friend  :-)

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      tuteramandaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      hi duffsmom,i feel sorry if you think my question is insulting,I respect everyone online ,no offensive,i just want to know most women's thinking ,no bias against

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   kabugalewisposted 12 years ago

   for security moreso physical security. They always feel safer when they have a man around more than when theres no man there.

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      tuteramandaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      i can understand where is the unsafety? violence against men more than women i think

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      kabugalewisposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      it has more to do with safety as a state of mind.

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   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   You are correct in acknowledging there are more and more women who do out earn men. Historically husbands were (expected) to be the "major breadwinner" of the household. Even with all of the progress women have made there are still women who the mindset that their husband should out earn them. A woman may be earning more than $100k per year but she (wants) her husband to make as much money or more than she does!
   There was a time when men were thought to feel emasculated if their wives earned more than them but today most men have less of a problem with it then women do. Some traditions die hard. :-)

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      tuteramandaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      that is really awesome, I think THE KEY reASON is the educational gap and men's limited choice ,the only way is reform the education system and overthrow some social conscious

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   peeplesposted 12 years ago

   I was avoiding answering this question because of it's ignorance, but it will annoy me if I don't answer. "Why most women like marry up?" Where exactly are all these rich guys marrying poor woman? Is there some big community of poor women becoming rich wives I don't know about?
   "it seems men is no longer the richer gender" Are you saying men should be the richer gender and that women don't deserve to be rich?
   When I met my hubby he had blown through a large inheritance, had no power in his home, and the water was about to be turned off. Here we are almost 8 years later married and happy.
   There will always be "gold diggers". Last I checked those are both male and female.

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      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Peeples, you make a valid point. Although sometimes I think we forget HubPages is international and therefore what this questioner has observed in his native (Tianjin, China) may be completely different than that of the U.S. culture.

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      tuteramandaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      hi peeples, at least in china, fiance should buy an apartment for fiancee before marriage ,and pay the bride price to her familiy ,that almost mean the bankrupt of fiance's family ,if  men not the richer gender ,the marriage itself will extinct

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      peeplesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That's absurd. If I were you I'd move!

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      tuteramandaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      @peeples   that is really absurb,but unless i move outside china ,i must accept that,that every chinese fiance's burden (responbility in many women's word),though it seems very unfair and inequality agaist men.

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   gmwilliamsposted 12 years ago

   Not most women.   Some women marry men whose educational, sociocultural, and socioeconomic backgrounds are the same or similar to theirs.  There are women who do not care WHOM they marry even though the man is socioeconomically near penury, is far less educated than she is, and have other liabilities as long as she loves him.   These two types of women believe that love conquers all.   
   
   However, there is the smart women who marries upward.   This women realize that she wants a better life.   She furthermore knows that money is very important in a relationship.   Having monies is the difference between a subsistence lifestyle where one has to worry about whether he/she will become more penurious and probably homeless if he/she has no job and/or other socioeconomic venues of income and a lifestyle which preclude monetary worries.   This woman want a rich and/or at best a highly affluent, successful men who can afford her any luxury she wants.   
   
   However, I must add the however, the woman has to bring something to the relationship.  The woman who marries wealthier had better present some goods whether it is fierce intelligence/education, some type of ambitious plan of her own, and a career or at least a good job.   No right- thinking rich and/or affluent man wants a wife who has nothing to bring to the table.  If a woman is poor, uneducated, and is in a nonprofessional and/or lowly paid job, chances are the rich and/or affluent man will not give her a second look.   Rich and/or affluent men want women with something to offer.   
   
   Smart and savvy rich and/or affluent men are quite aware of women who are socioeconomic vampires who want them only for their money.  That is why there are prenuptial agreements.   These man intend to keep their hard earned wealth and not to lose 50% or more less the marriage does not work out.   These men are savvy enough to avoid the poor and/or uneducated Janes, seeking women who may not be as rich and/or affluent as they but are quite close in earning power.   
   
   Women in low paying and/or nonprofessional jobs seldom marry rich and/or affluent men although many of them may wish to do so.   They usually marry their kind, the poor, uneducated Joes and they live broke ever after.   If a rich and/or affluent man is attracted to a poor, uneducated or less educated woman in a low paying and/or nonprofessional job, it is only a momentary lust and/or basic attraction, it is definitely not for a serious and/or committal relationship.

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      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      "There are women who do not care WHOM they marry even though the man is socioeconomically near penury, is far less educated than she is, and have other liabilities as long as she loves him." Didn't you post a forum stating "Like attracts Like" :-)

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      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I did. However, there are some women who just do not particularly care whom they date and/or marry as long as they "ARE IN LOVE."

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      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Therefore we are in agreement! It is not (unheard of) for someone to date and marry a person simply because they are in love! :-)
      To be honest with you I believe the "attraction" factor for men outweighs a woman's accomplishments regarding dating.

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   cherryseedsposted 12 years ago

   Actually I think rich women do not. only poor ones do because it's more likely men that approach women in dating and they tend to set "requirements" to accept the ones who date them

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