I'm married. I've a crush on a married man. How do I snuff the crush? I'm growin

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  1. profile image50
    Elizabeth1986posted 7 years ago

    I'm married. I've a crush on a married man. How do I snuff the crush? I'm growing weaker by the day.

  2. profile image0
    RTalloniposted 7 years ago

    The shamefulness of the selfishness and the harm you would do other people, including first your husband and then this other man, should be enough to make you reorder your thinking. A book titled Lies Women Believe by DeMoss would be a great help to you if you want help.

  3. fpherj48 profile image60
    fpherj48posted 7 years ago

    Elizabeth.....Uh-Oh.  First~ that you are reaching out is a good sign.  Now it's very important you listen intently to all the advice you are given by helpful, well-meaning & hopefully "experienced" individuals.
    I will waste no time nor spare words of complete & blatant truth in my personal, as well as professional suggestions.I'm relieved to know that you realize it's in the interest of all who may be involved, to "snuff the crush."  This in itself tells me you've been thinking about potentially egregious consequences.  For ease, I find point blank lists are best....memorize them!
    1.  A "crush," of course is a simple fantasy.  Although simple, crushes are rarely "harmless.' 
    2.  If this is a man you can avoid, then DO IT.  If not (co-worker, neighbor, associate of some sort) accept that "snuffing" will be more difficult and perhaps take more time and effort on your part.
    3.  Take full inventory of your own life, family, marriage, life-style & most importantly~~your children.  Ask yourself repeatedly IF as their mother, you could be happy, satisfied & guilt-free if an affair caused a broken home. 
    (Here is an official, provable fact for you to research: "In hindsight, 90% ( that % is very close to ALL, of both men & women ) state unequivocally that their hugest regret for divorcing due to "a lover"  are the numerous negative backlash & effects on their kids.  None of them BTW, considered this at the time.~~typical human nature.
    4.  Spend some time and a concentrated effort to rekindle your current relationship with your spouse.  Do this by spending more time with him one on one, spicing up the romance, taking a mental walk down Memory Lane of your period of "falling in love" with him. 
    5.  If time and finances allow, seek out the help of a Talk Therapist, preferably one who has specialized in relationship/family counseling.
    6.  Consider at all times, the number of Human Beings whose lives would quite likely be devastated, disrupted```possibly irreparably .Do you believe you are capable of facing the fact that you would be largely responsible for this?

    This short list can be enough for you to work on, if you are serious about "snuffing this crush."  I wish you much luck and certainly hope the results are based upon a rational, mature & healthy decision.  Peace, Paula

  4. profile image0
    LoliHeyposted 7 years ago

    Avoid him at all costs.  Pray like crazy.  Resist temptation.  What about your husband?  Take a look at why you may have lost interest in him.

  5. dashingscorpio profile image74
    dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago


    Cheating is a decision and not a hunger pain.
    In this case it would be decision made by (two people) who are supposedly in the highest form of a  "committed relationship"; marriage.
    The way you have posed the question it would imply that the married man has flirted with you or made it known that he's game for cheating on his wife.
    My theory is if you were "in love" with your husband and truly believed he was "the one" for you then you wouldn't do anything to risk losing him.
    On the other hand if you are NOT "in love" with your husband but simply going through the motions living out a boring existence you might cheat.
    You had two ways to approach such a scenario.
    1. Remove yourself from being tempted by avoiding the guy.
    2. You could invest time restoring "the magic" in your marriage.
    Psychologist have determined it is easier to (replace) a bad habit with a good one than it is to simply eliminate it. "Do this instead" approach.
    Anyone who has ever attempted to go on a strict diet will tell you that you never lose the "craving" unless you find a way to replace it with something else. In this case you could shower your husband with all this pent up desire. If it helps you to get it out of your system imagine your husband is him!
    You have to decide if you want out of your marriage meaning run down to the courthouse to file for divorce, pack your bags and move out, share custody with your children if you have any, lower your living standards, and hope the married guy you have a crush on is willing to do the same....
    Or simply chuck this up as "fantasy" to distract you from your boring life.
    Rarely do cheaters look to (replace) one relationship with another.
    Cheating is a cowardly selfish act in an attempt to "have it all".
    Their goal is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.
    You owe it to your husband to give him "first crack" at addressing whatever you feel is "missing" in your marriage.
    Figure out (why) you want to cheat. Being impulsive is immature.
    Some people treat relationships like jobs in that they won't leave one until they have another one lined up.
    Cheating is their bridge or lifeline to escape.

  6. Agathe L profile image75
    Agathe Lposted 7 years ago

    Don't. If you don't resist the temptation, you'll regret it. Your life will be a mess. Think of your kids (if you have them). I'm pretty sure they don't want to grow up with the memory of their mother having an affair with someone else, married no else. Of course, I know how tempting it is, especially if you've been married for so long. You crave for something new, some excitement, but if you want that, why don't you indulge in something positive instead? Well, it's easier said than done.

    The question is, whether that married man likes you back or not. If he were... it's going to be hard resisting. But if he doesn't, put some distance between the two of you. Don't make any advances. Why don't you turn that feeling into something more platonic like admiration?

    Either way, consider your family's feelings.

  7. profile image52
    Charmofwordsposted 7 years ago

    i would say try to spend more quality time with your hubby.. rejuvenate the love between you two.

  8. krillco profile image83
    krillcoposted 7 years ago

    Go get some therapy by a certified counselor who is experienced in such things.

  9. Anjili profile image61
    Anjiliposted 7 years ago

    Do not covet other people's spouses.
    Stop admiring him.
    He was taken
    They could be worse than what you've got in your house.
    Your neighbor's grass always looks greener than yours until you check your grass from your neighbor's window.
    Try to remember the day you met your hubby.
    Think about your children and how divorce will affect them
    Read the word of God for good advice
    It is akin to loving both God and the devil simultaneously
    Remember, life is vanity
    He is not worth dying for and might not even like you
    He is as handsome as any other man
    Hubby chose only you among many, hence reciprocate
    Hubby loves you
    Flee from temptation
    The crush will use and dump you for being cheap
    You don't want to die alone and dejected

  10. Samantha Sydney profile image61
    Samantha Sydneyposted 7 years ago

    There is something that is lacking in your current relationship otherwise your subconscious would not be reaching out to fill that empty void.  I think you should do some soul searching and figure out what is lacking that way you and the husband can talk it out and then work it out. that way the crush will just go away on its own

    1. Subham Roy profile image60
      Subham Royposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      It's a simple equation.

      Love is directly proportional to husband
      Lust is directly proportional to crush.

      What you are experiencing are lust and desire and the last thing you want is to take one wrong step. It's over.

  11. Old-Empresario profile image70
    Old-Empresarioposted 7 years ago

    I would bet anyone here that she still goes on and does it.

  12. profile image52
    Christafayeposted 6 years ago

    Ask ur husband for a hall pass and go jump on that hard throbbing cock


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