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Top Twenty Funny Quotes About Religion

Updated on June 5, 2012

Famous Quotes

Religion plays a big part in peoples lives and these are some of the more humorous quotes from famous people on religion.

All Quotes and Quotations

Funny Quotes on Religion

If God created us in his own image we have more than reciprocated.   Volitaire.

Truth in matters of religion, is simplythe opinion that has survived. Oscar Wilde.

Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God.  Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

Many people think they have religion when they are troubled with dyspepsia.  Robert G Ingersoll.

If a church wants a better pastor, it can get one by praying for the one it has.. Rev. Robert E. Harris.

My dear child you must believe in god despite what the clergy tell you.  Ben Jowett.

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on thee. And  I'll forgiveThy great big one on me. Robert Frost.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. Billy Sunday.

Religion is a monumental chapter in the history of human  egotism. William James.

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do pennance for the evil conscience of their parents. H. L. Mencken.

Most people have some sort of religion—at least they know which church they're staying away from.John Erskine

I do not believe in God I believe in cashmere. Fran Lebowitz.

Faith may be dscribed briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. H. L. Mencken.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.   George Burns

God is the celebrity author of the worlds bestseller.We have made God into the biggest celebrity of all, to contain our own emptiness.  Daniel Boorstin

If you talk to God,you are praying;if God talks to you , you have schizophrenia. Thomas Szas.

God seems to have left the receiver off the hook and time is running out.  Aurthur Koestler.

A cult is a religion with no political power. Tom Wolfe.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials. Ronald Knox.

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylums shows that faith does not prove anything.Fredrich W. Nietsche.


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