Everything has a scientific name these days, its crazy. I'll make you a bet, say or do one thing that has never been done before. I mean like never, ever been done. If even thats possible. But say or do it. And I bet you my life savings that there's a scientific name for it somewhere. No kidding!
But seriously though, how does a guy deal with homophobia in today's world. I mean there's this whole new age thing going and everybody is liberal as hell,and if you dont get on board and pat everybody on the back then you get turned into an outcast. Not like thats too bad a thing anyways. But really, is always good to at least try to get along with everyone. Right. So if one has this homophobia,how the hell is he supposed to deal with it and get on with his life,huh?
Tough one - it is difficult to try and conform to something if you don't believe in it. Going along with the crowd means that there are no easy answers. I like the fact that you said that everybody should try to get along - that is a good place to start. If you don't like gays, that is up to you, but you should still be respectful and civil to them, as you would with anybody else
Lita: With you on that one - there is too much pre-judgment from both sides. One of the reasons that I hate this polarization of opinion on many issues - if people migrate to extremes, then the moderates are forced to conform. Sadly, the middle ground is where the creativity lies, and it is being squeezed out.
First of all... yes, everything has been done before.
To quote Salvador Dali "Those who do not want to imitate anything produce nothing"
As to how does one deal with homophobia... if by "everybody is liberal as hell" you mean respectful of each others differences, well that is how it should be (although not entirely true as your statement proves)
But let me pose a question to you... what if what you say were written by a white man posing the question, how is he supposed to deal with his dislike of black people & get on with his life? You get the point... Its not about tolerating differences, its about accepting them... because quite frankly you dont have the right not to. RESPECT PEOPLE PERIOD.
Spend eternity with his ass jammed up against a wall sorry joke.
As one who makes it a point to study language and rhetoric, I think part of the issue you are having is with the term itself. "HomoPHOBIC" implies fear, and has a pejorative connotation to it that many chafe under. Unfortunately, that is the sort of rhetoric that is employed by sides of polemic issues. From a purely linguistic and rhetorical standpoint, the term is biased against any who are opposed to gay lifestyle.
The trick (were it not already too late) would be to find a less incendiary term to refer to those folks who take issue with homosexuality (regardless of grounds for the position). Look at the rhetorical tactics taken by the sides of the abortion debate. Those opposed to it call themselves "Pro-life." To be in opposition to them, strictly speaking, would mean you were "anti-life." This language device is meant to put opposition to that political/religious stance at a disadvantage. Who wants to be "anti-life?" Those who support legal abortion call themselves "pro-choice." Same thing at work, to oppose them implies that you are "anti-choice." Who wants to be anti-choice? Anti-freedom?
So, it's a language game. Don't get caught up in the "homophobic" thing. If you focus on that language, you will be allowing people who don't share your views access to your soft spot. Just pick a new term for yourself, and insist upon its use when you can.
(And just to pipe in on the issue itself, Dude, why do you care? They aren't fantasizing about you naked, and they don't want to have sex with you. Plus, there's tons of them out there. They are real. Not liking what they do is not going to make them go away. Consider getting over it and moving on.)
I wasn't tired a minute ago - I'm now yawning my head off!
Basically, the "thought police" who patrol this planet now prevent me from posting the comment I would want to post.
I will therefore be "politically correct" and state that sex = man + woman just as 2 = 1 + 1.
Sex = man + man, sex = woman + woman. Sex = woman + man + another woman. Sex = man and sheep, unfortunately I didn't make that up. Sex = man + imagination + hand. Sex = Woman + hand + imagination + hope. Sex = man + video + hand. Sex = woman + video + hand. I'm sure there's more............ This may be politically incorrect, but it's true.
Homophobia isn't like a scientific term. There is a name for it, yes. But there is a name for everything. Homo- same, -phobia- fear of. In today's world it isn't a "trend" of liberal ideas, I think it is just a change in the tolerance of people of the world, for the better in my opinion.
If someone is homophobic, it is up to that individual to want to change first. I don't know very many homophobic people, actually none that I can think of at the moment. However, I would assume that knowledge would be the greatest ally if someone was looking to change. Meeting someone who is in a same sex relationship and learning about their life and asking any questions someone may have. That would be my suggestion. Of course it may be difficult for the person to get over their phobia to sit down and have an open conversation. It is hard for someone to admit that an idea they had previously and for so long could be wrong.
I myself am not gay. However, a lot of my friends are. If someone had questions, I would be happy to answer them.
Gordon-That wasn't the question. He wasn't asking for opinions on gay relationships.
Yes, I can see how you might grow weary quickly with the effort of reading and, fatigued, be set to yawning.
You're a funny guy, Gordon. I know a lot of people wont find what you said funny. But I've got a LIBERAL sense of humour, and you're downright funny.
And Gordon, Not sure why you're equating sex to a math problem. But who is involved in sex it depends on your definition of sex, since sex is a personal definition.
(Gen 1:26-31) Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." {27} So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. {28} God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." {29} Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. {30} And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground--everything that has the breath of life in it--I give every green plant for food." And it was so. {31} God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning--the sixth day.
I wasn't suggesting that you didn't know the terminology. I was just stating that there is a name for everything.
CJ,
Be true unto one's self. There is absolutely nothing wrong with "disapproving" - for the benefit of our PC friends - of homosexuality. The Bible backs us up!
I - believe it or not!!! - am a great believer in "live and let live" but the sad and pathetic liberal state of this planet today disgusts me. I am not allowed to voice my opinion on issues such as this but I have to stand back and listen to the sad and flimsy bleatings of "liberals" on every pathetic subject under the sun.
Merry Christmas! - Just in case that greeting is also banned in the next seven months!
now you're just killing me. But you really gotta cut everyone a slack, you know. I mean, you can still retain your distaste for gays and all,and still be nice about it,I think. You don't have to be mean or anything. I don't know, honestly. I need more smart people to get on board here and discuss this.
However if he wants to change, then who should stop him? I think his question was legitimate. I think that the more knowledge a person has to make a decision for themselves the better.
Just to play the devil's advocate--there are a lot of straight guys (I think it is especially guys) who feel threatened in some way when confronted with even the idea gay men. It's more like--they absolutely do not ever want to be considered gay and will do anything they possibly can to disassociate themselves from them.
I see it as a peer pressure/unexamined life issue more than anything else. Probably not the least bit about religion in most cases.
I'd say, examine your feelings and where they are coming from.
Yep, there is such a thing as homophobia. It's a problem politically that it is being used to label everyone who feels as Mr. Angryman up there does. It's like calling someone who removes cobwebs from the corners of their home arachnophobic.
Homophobia- is an irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality, homosexuals, or individuals perceived as homosexual. Since homophobia can mean the objection of a lifestyle it is a little different than the fear of a spider, wouldn't you say?
My point is not even about the "irrational" factor of the fear. I don't care to pass judgment on people's beliefs/fears in the context of this argument. Spiders like the Brown Recluse and Black Widow ect. are to be "rationally" feared, and traumatic childhood events etc. can spawn reasonably excused reasons for arachnophobia. Religious indoctrination and moral-making personal history can just as logically explain a person's opinion regarding homosexuality. So, to invoke "irrational" at all is an attempt--intentional or not--to drag me into the conflict. My point is the language is clunky and ill-fitting and defeats the purpose of language, which is to facilitate communication.
By using a pejorative to describe people who have beliefs counter to homosexual lifestyle is to set the conversation off on the wrong foot. That is my point. So much heat and angst are pumped into the conversation up front, there is little chance of coming to common ground as quickly as might otherwise be possible.
Posting religious texts is not evidence of anything if you are trying to have a real discussion. It only backs up your own position. And you are perfectly free to be disgusted at whatever you would like to be disgusted at. If you find that your opinion draws fire from an increasingly larger sea of voices, it may just be that your particular interpretation of "morality" is in decline (whether in permanent decline or just for another swing of the social/political/historical pendulum, and therefore temporary). Rejoice in the fact that your book predicted it and that all the sinners will burn in eternity. Sit back and watch the show!
Ok,Ok - here is an example of my life working as a cameraman with ITV.
I can't help my training!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaUiZpX-mK8
Good night all!
i didnt know you were a camera man, Gordon. I'm an aspiring Director. Maybe we could make low budget movies together. Are you into movies?
If you wish to limit yourself to 1+1=2 that's your business. If others use -3+5=2, that's their business, not yours. God created many kinds of people. You cannot criticize a creation without criticizing the creator. Since you like to quote "the" bible, I'll assume you read Aramaic, Greek, and Hebrew and also have access to the original scriptures since most people only can read a copy of many copies that have been mistranslated and in many cases changed to suit the needs of control freaks through the ages. God did not write the bible, Leviticus is ample proof of that. The evil god you quote is the creation of some seriously sick people. Sweet dreams.
I think thats the problem. Liberal atheists have a problem when religious people get preachy. I mean they basically flip out. But no one seems to have a problem with some guy calling God an evil god. That is just disgusting. I don't even have any words for that.
So you are liberaphobic and atheiphobic as well as homophobic. I heartily recommend finding the best therapist you can afford, dude.
It still amazes me how people feel that a shrink has all the answers. Take a smart guy like for instance, a really smart guy, and you can tell that he believes,half the time,that shrinks are the answer to the world's problems. I laugh at such silliness. I've got just one phobia for you...GODphobia. That's what you've got.
More an intense dislike of religionists really. Not scared so much as appalled at the ignorance and disappointed in the human race that this is what we base our decisions on.
I mean - you posted this in the religionist forum so I assume you have some religious reasons for all your phobias?
If that doesn't call for a little therapy I don't know what does.
Mark, you're very ignorant of the workings of my mind. So pls enough of your a dime a dozen psychoanalysis mumbo crap. It really is phony. Not to mention boring. You don't know anything about me or why I decided to post this in the religion forum. Gayness will always be a religious discussion,whether you like it or not. I'm very tolerant of people, you have no idea. I really am. I mean, I could watch Will and Grace and still find it funny. Not all of it,but at least some parts. We can all get along if you let me be me,while I let you be you. No one insults the other either for who he or she is or how he or she worships. I can get with that. In fact, I would be extra cool with that. Even if the guy is gay and all.
Actually the workings of your mind are transparently simple.
Please explain how your fear of homosexuals, liberals and atheists belongs in a religion forum?
Seriously - it would help you to talk to some one impartial. I am no good - I will just make fun of your irrational beliefs. That is why you should pay some one to listen. Even if they are gay and all.
This tactic of changing a person's quote to fit your needs is truly bush league. Your representation of your religious beliefs, and your inability to form a logical response to my post help to make my point; thank you. If you are troubled so easily by reading a crticizm of your beliefs, maybe they are not so strongly held? A position different from yours is not a flip out, it is just different. I did not refer to "God" capital G as evil. I referred to the "god" lower case, that is the source of your confusion, and much of the world's pain as evil. This god is not the creator and guiding force that many, such as myself, are called to believe in. Your "god" is the creation of the minds of evil men and is thus evil. (Read slowly and carefully, try to follow along, I am criticizing the creation and the creator). Please be careful with your next post, for vengence is mine sayeth Ron. Do not cause me to smite thee with great fury a second time.
I see where Shades is coming from... But use of different language just gets 'liberals,' (or whoever) in trouble, too, I'd point out. Witness, 'political correctness.'
I do see how we liberals are labeled all of what was said above, sometimes, I do... Being 'simple' (and essentially binary) isn't attractive or even necessarily ethically sound with ANY political stamp on it...even if we feel quite just by virtue of our beliefs.
Sufi-
You know, I don't even see it as an issue of moderation politically--I will happily call myself a lefto. I see it as an issue of complexity and language--as Shades points out. And I also feel, truly unexamined stances perhaps on both sides of the aisle--due to religion, tradition, fear--maybe on the liberal's side, even education--are cause for much grief and misunderstanding + over simplification.
As you've said, yes--it is hard to have an intelligent debate. But it is not good to lose intelligent debaters (like yourself), though I also see more and more through exposure on these forums, where you are coming from.
Sure, it seems to be based upon the need to put a label on a person, just so that you can attack them. It seems to be all too common now, sadly. The art of debate is slowly dying, and strawmen and ad hominem attacks are just too cheap. Maybe I am turning native, but I like a proper debate with a little etiquette, however passionate it becomes.
The language part is true - even between the UK and US, so many words have completely different meanings, which can make misunderstandings all too common.
Anyway - I am not making much sense now - it is way past midnight,and I have had Ouzo
Are you serious about how much Ouzo you drink, Sufi ?
Well, what struck me very strangely is that I posted this Stanley Fish essay thing in the religion forum--not really espousing any rightist or leftist doctrine, if someone actually critically read it--just asking a lot of questions. It was then re-posted by a conservative theist (just a part of it), where it was soundly attacked by my own contingent as being a conservative rant... And though he's kind of a slippery fish, I don't think the former Berkley professor is a lol, a conservative in the primitive sense or form (the kind I don't respect).
It's just kinda weird... And I'd say not passionate enough for my taste, etiquette being part of that,
So, anyway, yeah...
Homophobia is a medical condition - and it's worse among men, with most of the violence that stems from it found in the under-18 age group. The point is, how can you stop someone from feeling a sense of revulsion when it stems from fear - fear of being called gay or lesbian? If religion stops condemning people from following their natural inclination, it will percolate down to the masses. You can't tell a person not to feel what he does when it is something that arises from so called values deeply embedded in his psyche.
You have to embrace them for who they are, not what they do in the bedroom. All humans have homosexual tendencies some act upon them and others do not. Think about that logically what does a man fear? The thoughts that he as well has, or the fear that they will try to change you? Embrace your masculinity and you will get past the homophobic fear.
None of these things you say even slightly resembles my demeanor towards gay people. Even slightly. I'm afraid of turning into a gay person as much as I'm afraid of turning into Rumpelstiltskin.
OK, I think we have hit upon the crux of it here. fierycj, either you didn't understand the use of the word "tendencies" or you are in denial or you truly have not taken the time to contemplate yourself as a human being.
You have homosexual tendencies. It's like saying you have a liver. Your alive, so of course you do. That dosen't make you queer by any means and your particular tendencies may be very slight, however everyone has them.
I think you are here sincerely seeking advice and I admire you for that. My advice to you would be more honest self examination.
In failing that, just live your life and let others do the same.
C'mon Mark, you waited this long to respond and thats the best punchline you could come up with. I've seen you do better. I know you can do better. You must not be on your A-Game today.
And Who by the way cares what you make fun of? Not me. You really think you're such a hot shot, dont ya, Mark? You know for a smart guy, you really do say a lot of dumb stuff. I have no fear for atheists or what not. Homophobia in my opinion should be discussed here, cos Religious people go, "gayness is evil,they'll all go to hell." Why gay people and gay activists alike go, "no way,all humans are unique and all." Where do we strike a balance? How does a non-gay person deal with this pro-gay active situation. That's it, pure and simple. And the answer is pretty clear, mind your own damn business about everything and everyone.
Dude (thanks Shadesbreath) - you might want to look at some of the things you are saying and get some help.
It may not be apparent to you, but you are exhibiting all the signs - latent homosexuality, fear of liberals and atheists. Especially active ones.
The problem you are suffering from is best known as "cognitive dissonance." You think you want to get along with everyone and then your irrational beliefs tell you
which causes a clash inside you because you cannot reconcile these two things.
Get some help dude. let go the thing about the unicorns and monsters and gay people and stuff. You will feel a whole lot better.
Elements of this thread remind me of trying to explain stuff to my teenagers. They have active, vibrant minds, but they just can't conceive of the parts of the argument they are missing, and through youth, ignorance and hormonally wrought stubborness, they just can't see the whole picture yet. Someday. Just not yet. All you can do is sigh and wait for the glands to balance out. I guess it's different with adults, though.
(Oh, and ROFL @ Jewels. You have leet math skillz!)
For a start, they might not start forum threads about it, then they wouldn't be exposed to the "activist" liberals who log onto the non-activist thread that was in-actively started.
If they are Homophobic they are dealing with it arnt they?
( by being Homophobic)
I'm from the heart of Africa. Your fury is a walk in a park for me, trust me. Whatever you can bring, I've seen a thousand times worse. Don't even go there. What a laugh. And to Mark, you crack me up. You're so full of it. I wonder how long you had to think before you came up with that one. The thing though is, we can do this all day long. I'm looking to hear more of your precious nuggets of wisdom. Its all I need to keep me going.
About 3 milliseconds. It is obvious. And you should learn to take good advice when you see it. Look in not out and you will find what you seek.
OMg, what a powerful retort! The smiter has been smited. I am no match for your awesome powers. Maybe I should worship you now?
So please, tell me more about these furious parks in the Heart of Africa that you walk through and laugh at without inviting me to go there.
Is that the best you guys can come up with? And there I was with so much expectations.
Quintus: People should know when they are conquered.
You just want to argue. You have ignored some people's points that clearly are too reasonable for your consideration, you don't read well (the "a god" turned into an accusation against your God as an example... way to capitalize - as was pointed out - and ignore the article that was used in your fervor to find something to grapple with), and you haven't articulated anything of depth yet at all.
Your arguments are ... well... you aren't actually even making any. Why don't you just call Mark a poo-pooh head and move on. I promise that if you call mark a poo-pooh head, I will see the argument fairly won on your side and move on.
Poo-Poo head is the doomsday weapon of debate. We should all agree to use it only as a last resort.
What do you want them to say. Well here goes "Love your Forum shows nothing but sheer brilliance, Homos are bad lesbos are worse," (What you wanted wasn't it. I cant mention colour, as that would be racist lol. so shall go straight to religion...You are a s... stirrer man just like moi except I don't B.S around, I come out and say it.
Guess its good for your posts.
Also I know a good shrink, want his number often helps to get the anger out, "Like I think you are angry, you are so much a stirrer, but try to be more ceative with it. I'm feeling just a lttle disappopinted in your efforts, you are usually way better. Thats why you aren't getting them going they are clearly Bored. If you are bored do the I.Q test its fun.
Arrividerci
How people conduct themselves with others reveals a lot about them so I tell my sons to be respectful towards others irregardless if they are gay or lesbian. Why try to control something nobody has control over? why interfere with another persons sexual preference? why even ask?
You guys crack me up. I have a ball everytime I start a fire like this. Thing is, almost every response is predictable. But I still get a kick out of it, though. In a half-assed way, that is.
I must say, those observing find you more than predictable.
Is that why you post? You are not asking for a help in finding an answer or solution? You're not interested in what others have to say and/or you have no wish to broaden your knowledge?
Because you did ask a question fiery.
Odd.
I thought it was a genuine cry for help. Oh well, we all know what happened to the boy that cried wolf.....
I just find it odd Mark. To 'ask' and to 'instigate' are vastly different. But it's one thing hiding behind a question - and another entirley to publicly admit that your interest lies not in an answer but rather in creating heat - which evidences that the objective is purely for the purpose of personal entertainment.
Yes, all of that. And also his hiding behind an infantile hip-speak that is patently ill-equipped to make a coherent point but perfectly suited to the flip dismissal of anything remotely uncomfortable. Which is why I think we shouldn't waste our time.
No more for me. I genuinely thought he was interested in coping with his irrational (biblical) fear of homosexuals. Oh well........
Was mine predictable Shit I hate predictable lol.
Was mine predictable Shit I hate predictable lol.
That would be because you are so much smarter than the rest of us.
Then why post the question? Or course the answers are predictable. It isn't a difficult question to answer.
Hey c'mon,you guys are getting me all wrong. I could have responded sooner too,but I've been on location, still am,and you know how it can get. I appreciate everybody's contribution and all. I really do. I think there're a lot of smart people here, witty as hell too. I like that. But I get bored easily, maybe thats why I'm into film directing,its one of the few things that can never get boring. Look at Scorcese. The guy is a thousand years old and he's still making movies. Cos he's never bored with it. The thing though is the Religious forum does tend to get really boring. I think arguments are good every once in a while, get everybody all hyper and all. And sometimes you even learn one thing or two. But I'm cool with anything. Who knows we all could go down to the pub and have as all a few drinks, straight, gays and lesbians alike. It could be fun, too.
I suggest you just be yourself. I have found out that terminology is just that-- terms we use. When I don't like the meaning, reference, or intention of a word, I just don't use it. When it is being used by someone else, I weight the context the word is being used. When it is used to hurt or degrade, intentionally (and you will know it)I block it out. After all, we can't stop communicating. If we choose to stop communicating with people, we might as well become a cat lady or cat man....I say live and let live.
I do not agree. Avoiding a word is avoiding the issue in many cases of which this is one. The best way to deal with homophobia is to learn more.
Sorry to disappoint you, man. I'm at a location. Replying on my mobile. Way too busy, man.
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