How good is your discernment?
Aside from basing your decisions from your intuition what else you do consider before trusting someone?
That is an excellent question, Kris. It helps to understand this before we actually are learning from experience. I used to blindly trust everyone. I was very naive and always focused on the good in people. My late husband would chide me about this and try to convince me that I was too naive and needed to not trust so openly. After a few lessons from the school of hard knocks I can now agree with him.
There is an excellent book that I have read a couple of times called 'Trust Rules, Telling the Good Guys from the Bad Guys'. The author (I think it is Linda stokes??) teaches a course in 'trust' at a university in Minnesota, I believe. I read that and realized how easily 'duped' I could be.
As stated, I have met a few unscrupulous characters in my lifetime whom I can now see were not people I should have trusted. Now, I rely on the actions, words, overall moral character, the way a person talks, the eyes...It is much more than intuition or instinct.
In addition, I have been fine tuning my discernment. It is amazing how one can develope this ability to a very deep level.
Great question-what is your answer???
The old police-mind tells me: never trust coincidence! If something does or doesn’t add up in some peculiar way it mostly is not a sound assumption. But I would also say that people can change and the way you conceive them does also affect their behavior.
Really bad people are often very nice they wait for an opportunity when you are off guard or a situation in stress where they want you to do something important to them. Never make any important decisions or business in a spur of a moment or without normal safety procedures.
Unfaithful people are often eye servant or guilt driven.
I liked Denise answers because they came from heart and experience.
Like Denise, I'm the type that first wants to really believe a person and what he or she is saying, promising, hoping .... But I've learned the hard way that this is only part of the story. I am learning to take a long hard look at a person's track record to see if their past behavior and decisions line up with what they are currently saying they want and intend to do. Also, I've learned to, in a sense, give the person a test, kind of without them knowing. This would be some kind of short term expectation or goal that he or she says they will carry out, I make a mental note of this and keep track. When I find they do not carry out what they said they would do, I talk with them about it to find out more of the 'why.' Then, I must decide if it is wise for me to put up with that, or instead lower my 'belief' in future claims of what that person says they will do.
My intuitive powers are razor sharp I can smell danger or something wrong.
I give my trust begrudgingly.The more you fulfil my expectations the great trust you earn.
Hi Denise! I was so relieved when i read your answer. Honestly I am also naive and gullible that's cause like you said, I do focus so much on the good side of other people and I usually get hurt in the end. The truth is, I do have a strong discernment I do know if a person can be trusted and can't be trusted the thing is I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. Believing that people can change if you show them respect, love and honesty. Too bad most people I've encountered failed me in some way and this doesn't happened rarely; it happens often. I guess the greatest influence I have when it comes to trusting is my mother. She always trust people because she wants to believe that people are innately good but in the end, they hurt her. It's pretty dumb of me to be doing the same but hey, i'd rather be this than be too suspicious all the time. But I'm learning how to trust smart now..
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