How good is your discernment?

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (7 posts)
  1. krisingreen profile image61
    krisingreenposted 8 years ago

    How good is your discernment?

    Aside from basing your decisions from your intuition what else you do consider before trusting someone?

  2. Denise Handlon profile image88
    Denise Handlonposted 8 years ago

    That is an excellent question, Kris.  It helps to understand this before we actually are learning from experience.  I used to blindly trust everyone.  I was very naive and always focused on the good in people.  My late husband would chide me about this and try to convince me that I was too naive and needed to not trust so openly.  After a few lessons from the school of hard knocks I can now agree with him.

    There is an excellent book that I have read a couple of times called 'Trust Rules, Telling the Good Guys from the Bad Guys'.  The author (I think it is Linda stokes??) teaches a course in 'trust' at a university in Minnesota, I believe.  I read that and realized how easily 'duped' I could be.

    As stated, I have met a few unscrupulous characters in my lifetime whom I can now see were not people I should have trusted.  Now, I rely on the actions, words, overall moral character, the way a person talks, the eyes...It is much more than intuition or instinct. 

    In addition, I have been fine tuning my discernment.  It is amazing how one can develope this ability to a very deep level.

    Great question-what is your answer???  smile

  3. profile image0
    alberichposted 8 years ago

    The old police-mind tells me: never trust coincidence! If something does or doesn’t add up in some peculiar way it mostly is not a sound assumption. But I would also say that people can change and the way you conceive them does also affect their behavior.

    Really bad people are often very nice they wait for an opportunity when you are off guard or a situation in stress where they want you to do something important to them. Never make any important decisions or business in a spur of a moment or without normal safety procedures.

    Unfaithful people are often eye servant or guilt driven.

    I liked Denise answers because they came from heart and experience.

    Take Care!

  4. Ms Dee profile image87
    Ms Deeposted 8 years ago

    Like Denise, I'm the type that first wants to really believe a person and what he or she is saying, promising, hoping .... But I've learned the hard way that this is only part of the story. I am learning to take a long hard look at a person's track record to see if their past behavior and decisions line up with what they are currently saying they want and intend to do. Also, I've learned to, in a sense, give the person a test, kind of without them knowing. This would be some kind of short term expectation or goal that he or she says they will carry out, I make a mental note of this and keep track. When I find they do not carry out what they said they would do, I talk with them about it to find out more of the 'why.' Then, I must decide if it is wise for me to put up with that, or instead lower my 'belief' in future claims of what that person says they will do.

  5. Dave Mathews profile image60
    Dave Mathewsposted 8 years ago

    My intuitive powers are razor sharp I can smell danger or something wrong.

  6. edmob1 profile image60
    edmob1posted 8 years ago

    I give my trust begrudgingly.The more you fulfil my expectations the great trust you earn.

  7. krisingreen profile image61
    krisingreenposted 8 years ago

    Hi Denise! I was so relieved when i read your answer. Honestly I am also naive and gullible that's cause like you said, I do focus so much on the good side of other people and I usually get hurt in the end. The truth is, I do have a strong discernment I do know if a person can be trusted and can't be trusted the thing is I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. Believing that people can change if you show them respect, love and honesty. Too bad most people I've encountered failed me in some way and this doesn't happened rarely; it happens often. I guess the greatest influence I have when it comes to trusting is my mother. She always trust people because she wants to believe that people are innately good but in the end, they hurt her. It's pretty dumb of me to be doing the same but hey, i'd rather be this than be too suspicious all the time. But I'm learning how to trust smart now.. smile

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)