any advice

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   Lecieposted 14 years ago

   hi everyone,
                    i've been going through some rough times. mostly financial and family troubles. someone suggested to me that as a way of finding peace i should practice buddhism. i'm all for it but when i asked them what buddhism was about they just said peace and walked away... i'm more confused than ever. can anyone on here give me some of the basics about buddhism...i can't remember anything too complicated these days as my mind is running 100mph worrying about everything. can you also tell me if buddhism could be the missing key to bringing peace into my life?
   
   very confused,
   lecie

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      liljen23posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Lecie, I don't know anything about buddhism because I am a Christian. I have been through a lot myself and still going through things but the only thing I suggest is that whatever you are feeling, let it out. I go ahead and cry and pray to GOD to calm me and strengthen me. I pray about my situation and I always come out of it. EVERY TIME. I have realized that everything is a test and to strengthen me. Take my advice and see what happens, trust me you will feel better and become a stronger person.
      
      Jennifer

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      Beelzedadposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think that if you are having financial and family troubles, you probably have a lot of work to do and little time to think about Buddhism or any other belief system that will distract you from working on those problems.
      
      A lot of thought and hard work should be your guide right now, and when the times are better, then maybe think about other esoteric things.

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         mohitmisraposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Buddhism encourages meditation as the Buddha gained enlightened while meditating.The practice helps one get disciplined and enhances ones concentration,its difficult and helps man in all aspects of life as it helps one focus.

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      mohitmisraposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Bottom line is meditation.

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      pisean282311posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      mohit has a point..since u r going through rough phase ..meditation would help u to be ease with urself and that shall assist ur brain to focus on work which in turn would get out of your phase..faith on god helps in such phases..but even if u dont believe in god..to believe in ur capabilities u need to have calm brain..meditation would do that..

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      Brenda Durhamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I kept refraining from saying anything, but now I feel I should.
      
      
      Run as far away from Buddhism as you can!
      Run to Jesus!
      
      And like Flightkeeper said, get help with food or expenses at any local group you can, like food pantries and town trustees, etc.   That's what they're there for, for people who are eligible for them.   Your dad might even be eligible for help that way, too, instead of him asking you for money etc..

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      Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Religion can be a very strong pillar in your life...  but you also need to address the issues that are you making you feel so down.  Have you thought about talking to someone like a counselor?

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      motricioposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Man,
      
      You need to seek your happiness, not someone else's.
      I mean, we need to seek what we like the most, no matter what.
      Focus on your life, your goals; if you don't haven them, it is time to practice it!
      
      Take a peace of paper and write it down, love money, study, even party. Go ahead and do it with all things that will make you feel good. Write hubs about it, enjoy now!
      
      Worry about tomorrow tomorrow!

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   Lecieposted 14 years ago

   i learned when i was 7 that there was no god. the thought had never crossed my mind about other kinds of religion like buddhism and i don't know anything about them or if there any better than believing in a god that for me doesn't exist. i'm just confused right now and looking for a new path. i used to belive in your god until i turned 7 and was held captive for 3 days by a man that touched me in many ways and places that i don't ever want to talk about...the whole time i lay there praying to god to save me from this monster.
   i was not saved but left at the monsters mercy until he was tired of me. from then on there is and can be no god for me.
   i just need something positive in my life right now and don't know where to find it. so when someone suggested buddhism i thought it might be what i was looking for. i just don't know...i really don't know anything about it or how to get the "peace" from it that the person mentioned.

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      liljen23posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Lacie, I am sorry that happened to you and I have been raped before but that is not GOD's fault. It is the devil and he will find all kinds of ways to bring people down and I have found out that if I don't believe in GOD then I am destined to fall. I learned at a young age that there is a Heaven and Hell, but believing in other religions other than GOD I believe will not bring peace because you are not at peace with GOD. You make your own choice though, I am just pointing out my own beliefs and experiences.

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      Daniel Carterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      There is a book that has helped me a great deal, in getting through some pretty serious setbacks in my life. You may want to investigate "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie, and "The Power of Now" by Eckhardt Tolle. If these writings connect with you, they can be life-transforming. If not, then keep looking for what seems to be direction you need. Buddhism may or may not be that direction. The religion itself is steeped with the same kinds of superstitions and mis-guided beliefs as most religions, but the Buddah's teachings are a path to peace. In other words, the writings are more important than the religion.
      
      Additionally, good for you for stopping the enabling of your parents' very bad behavior. It's *their* responsibility to figure out their own housing, rent, food, utilities, etc., not yours. Being helpful in a pinch is one thing, but supporting them to enable their very bad behavior is not healthy for you or them. They are capable of seeking public assistance if they need additional help. That isn't your job. Your job is to take good care of you, respect yourself, and love yourself unconditionally. Sounds like you are headed that way. Kudos to you.
      
      
      Hope this helps.

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   Precious Williamsposted 14 years ago

   Hi Lecie
   I'm Christian as well and know quite a lot about other religions, but I;m not going to offer you any religious advice.  I'm sorry that you've been having such a bad time. It's awful to have terrible worries with finance and family.  I know what that's like.  Are you sorting out the financial things and the other worries.  You see - I believe without that any religious things could paper over the cracks rather than you addressing the issues.  They may all seem really huge, but if you haven't already take one issue at a time and decide whether you can or need to deal with it and either ignore it or break it down to it's smallest part to get going.  Your mind is full up now and you need to get rid of all that noise, by lessening the number of things you have to concentrate on. Take care and hang in there.

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   AdeleCosgroveBrayposted 14 years ago

   How about visiting your local library - or Google, even - and indulging in some basic research on comparative religions?  This way, you can arm yourself with a wider view of the subject and decide which religion, if any, has appeal for you.
   
   But if you're using any religion in the hope of an instant fix for the problems in your life, you're in for a disappointment.  Problems get fixed by dealing with them.

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   EnglishMposted 14 years ago

   Have faith in yourself, lecie.

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   KCC Big Countryposted 14 years ago

   I agree with a few of the others before in that I don't think religion is the immediate answer you're looking for.  Start to believe in your OWN abilities and you'll find a solution to your own problems.  Don't look for answers outside yourself.  You hold all the keys.  Trust your own instincts.

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   Polly Cposted 14 years ago

   Hi Lecie, I'm sorry to hear that you've been through hard times...Buddhism is more about finding your own spiritual enlightenment, than worshipping a God, or looking to a God for answers. Buddhism is about learning to live in the moment and find peace and learning how to detach yourself from fears, ego, desire etc. 
   
   I do not follow a religion, but Buddhism is the one I am most interested in because it is more about finding your own way than blind faith. There are several different types...I don't know much more though, but there are great books on the subject. The Dalai Lama's books have many inspirational quotes which on their own can help you find a sense of inner peace - he is probably one of the most well known Buddhists.

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      mohitmisraposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      "I was searching for myself and I found God, I was searching for God and I found Myself" Buddhist saying
      Buddhism is about meditating and finding who you really are, when you do that you will also know death and God.

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   Rafiniposted 14 years ago

   Lecie,
   
   I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience when you were so young.  I can understand why you would turn away from God, but as Liljen says, it isn't Gods fault.  The blame lays with the Devil.  Turning away from God may have alleviated some of your pain but I don't believe it can ever erase it and I don't believe turning to Buddhism will make it any better.  It's just replacing religions and Gods.  (much like quitting smoking only to use the Patch, or Nicorette, or some other nicotine replacement in order to quit) 
   
   I think the best thing for you to do would be to find peace within yourself first - whatever that means to you.  (some say finding peace can only be achieved by forgiveness - I say it's whatever you want it to be, whatever makes sense to you)  Religion can't bring you happiness.  You have to find it within yourself by finding peace first.  ((((HUGS))))

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      earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I agree, peace comes from self love, not from religion.

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         Jeramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Why does everyone  seem to wrap "Religion" around a faith in a creator so tightly that we caint see the light of day.
         
            Don't mean that as a smart a--  But really?
         
            What has religion got to do with it?
         
            I'll answer that!   NOTHING   ...
         
            Religion is like a thick cloud cover .. that we caint see the SON.

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            Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I don't understand what you're saying....religion is a good thing?  or not?
            
            
            The OP has turned away from God therefore I'm not about to try and shove it down her throat but rather suggest she find inner peace.

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               Jeramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I guess it depends upon your definition of religion.
               
                 I can imagine a man or woman on the beach ...  comunicating with their God.  Religion comes walking up and stands in front of the person and says ...  send that message through me and I'll handle it for ya.    That is  bad.
               
               
                  Religion that introduces ya to the God of the heavens and gets outa the way and lets you have your relationship with that god ...   That would be a good religion.
               
                  The religion that substituted  "keep the Sabath and keep it holy"    with  ..  Ya "gotta" keep the sabath by going to "Church!!  That aint right.
               
                   It may be good to go to church and it might not?  Depends on Why You are going?
               
                  Do you want your children to have a relationship with you; or would you be satisfide if they JUST join your fan clib?

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            Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Hey Jerami, look up the definition of religion.
            
            Yes, people payed homage to a creator or god before the definition was ever developed/created, but if you look at the time in which that was done versus now?
            
            Human evolution has brought us to such an awareness level, that brought forth human consciousness(on many levels).
            
            Once the human race evolved to the point where more and more people developed higher consciousness levels, and began to control their own life, you will find an explosion in the growth of humankind's civilization(everyone).
            
            Our own expansion of the mind has occurred, so as to bring about consciousness and awareness of others. Our next expansion will be to integrate the knowledge we have to make the world a better place.
            
            No creator or god required. Humankind can do it on their own.

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               Jeramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Shame on me but I never cared as much about a books definition as I do for my own understanding. No offence meant.
               
                   Just my thoughts ... but I agree with ya that we do not need Religiousity gettin the way.
                  I do believe in some kind of creator. I don't beleive that religion has described it correctly. 
                  We gotta find it within our own selves and remember where it comes from cause that is where it is going back to, some day.
               
                 Just my thoughts.

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                  EnglishMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  You're right, Jerami. Religion hasn't described it correctly. But then again, they didn't know what we know now.

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                     Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     how do we know Religion hasn't described it perfectly correct?  I mean seriously, there's no-one alive today who can remember the beginning or speaks any languages that were left behind in time.  I personally think God is incomprehensible therefore any and all descriptions are perfectly accurate.  (metaphorically speaking, of course )

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                        EnglishMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                        The explanation is vast, Rafini. I use a saying given to us by Jesus. "Keep on asking, and it will be given you; keep on seeking, and you will find; keep on knocking, and it will be opened to you."

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                           EnglishMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                           And it's got nothing to do with praying, I should add.

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                              Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                              I think it's a perfect example of what I mean.  Thank you.

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                  mohitmisraposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  All Religions will describe god as a divine light, with no beginning and no end ,supreme intelligence the creator of all things.
                  Mans home, his source.
                  
                  " We gotta find it within our own selves and remember where it comes from cause that is where it is going back to, some day."
                  Lovely word Jerami

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               mohitmisraposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Casgil , who or what has given you such intelligence?
               Where has all the intelligence in this universe which man can barely fathom come from?

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   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   This isn't really an answer, but one thing to keep in mind is that people of a certain age (late teens/early twenties) are often at a point in life where they feel like they're "searching for something" or "need something more".  It's kind of part of "landing in early adulthood" as a "novice at being an adult" and needing to figure out your own direction, life philosophy, and whatever else there is to figure out.
   
   Like the others here who don't think any form of religion is where those answers are, I think it's important each young person looks within for his own answers.  It doesn't feel good not to have those answers, but trying to think them out/find them for ourselves is part of moving from a "novice adult" to one who doesn't feel the need to search.  A lot of us hit our eighteenth or twenty-first birthday and kind of expect to "land there" as whole, fulfilled, adults.  When we get there and discover we don't feel quite as solid or whole or generally happy as we assumed we would it can be quite a disappointment.  Things like money problems or other problems don't help the matter any.
   
   I don't think Buddhism is the missing key for you, and I think whoever suggested to you it is may have made you more confused than you need to be.  If money is your main problem, I think the key to solving that is figuring out how to get more money.  That can be easier said than done, but in the meantime, maybe a less than ideal "key" can be to figure out ways to get your mind off thinking about money worries and give it a little rest by concentrating on things that are more pleasant to think about.  It's not a long-term answer, but it's how a lot of people get through rough times, at least until they figure out how to fix some problems or else until other problems are resolved with time.

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    Lecieposted 14 years ago

    thank you all so much for offering your advice. i have been trying to deal with my financial and family issues but it seems to only get worse. i've been applying for jobs...no luck. i had two yard sales selling off most of my treasured and needed possessions. a guy my dad knows stopped by the first one needing money to make it home to his daughter...i bought some things off of him to give him the money he needed. the second yard sale when i was setting up i stumbled upon a kitten barely three months old and in need of some help. my sister took her in under the condition that i pay for the first vet visit. so my good heart has left me broker than i was before selling my treasures. my family can't help me because they too are having difficulty. my dad actually keeps wanting me to find a way to pay for his beer while he's off work from a surgery...i already pay his bills on top of my own. that's why i'm struggling so much right now. i just can't afford to pay 2 rents. i have such a good heart and do what i can to help everyone around me that i'm so broken...financially, emotionally and spiritually. i have since writing this topic cut off my dads beer supply and now he's angry with me. i have also stopped eating breakfast...my mom lives with me and has had to stop eating breakfast as well, so now she's angry with me. but i think i might make it through yet one more month. it just seems that the more i try to help and do good the worse things get. so, i'm no longer helping. i told my dad to find another way to pay his bills next month. i told my sister that if she can't afford the next vet visit for the kitten, take it to the shelter. i told my mom that if she wants breakfast she's going to have to help me find a way to earn more money. hopefully by this time next month all of my problems will be solved...except for my father being angry with me. but the last time i checked the kids aren't supposed to pay for their parents beer. so i'm sure he'll find another way. thanks again for all of your advice.

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       Beelzedadposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       There certainly is a lot of people going through tough times now, but don't give up, keep at it, work hard and you'll get there. It sounds like you're really starting to take control even though it may not seem like it. Well done.

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    Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

    If you're skipping meals I think it's high time that you go to the welfare office and get one of those food cards.  You shouldn't feel any shame in getting assistance.  There are families who have gamed the system for generations, I don't see why a hard-working person who has paid into the system and who needs the help shouldn't get it.

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    Home Girlposted 14 years ago

    How old are you, Lecie? I think old enough to understand that no one in this life can help everybody, even your grown up relatives. Life is nor fair. No one is going to help you, unless you show your willingness to help yourself first. Yes, you have to help yourself, to stand firmly on your legs and then you can think about religion, spirituality, dreams, helping others who needs the most. You are the only one who can help you. Life is tough. Collect yourself. Economy is bad everywhere, no exeption. There is NO JOBS time. Be creative, try harder, get some cleaning job or somth. babysitting, go around, ask people, ones you know and ones you don't. There is no shame in it. People understand. Go to the organisations that suppose to help. You do not have to be hungry! There is no war in you country. Try everything and let other people be with their own problems for now. Don't do what you cannot afford. At the end of the day, I am sure you'll acheve something and will be proud of yourself. Cheer up!

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    ankitkaulmachamaposted 14 years ago

    If you are disturbed provably you should do meditation.

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    chan0512posted 14 years ago

    Aha.. I guess no one has this response. Let me give you my take. What is buddhism? or what is buddha teaching? The main teaching is "Not to commit any sin, to do more good, and to purify one's mind, that is the teaching of (all) the Awakened (Buddha)." in sankrit "Sabbapāpassa akaraṇaṃ, kusalassa upasampadā, Sacittapariyodapanaṃ, etaṃ buddhāna sāsanaṃ" Check out Dhammapada at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhammapada. It provides good teaching. How to purify your mind.... try to observe your mind. Then you have more understanding about your issue/ problem etc. As Polly mentioned Buddhism doesn't want you blindly trust anything known as Ehipassiko (an open invitation to all to come and see, to inspect, to scrutinize and if need be, even to criticize the teaching (dhamma) before accepting it because there is nothing mythical or mysterious about buddha's teaching. There is even no promise of heaven or hell.

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