If you met Satan, what would you ask him if you had a chance?

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   naijenniposted 13 years ago

   I would ask him..do you really like the number 666!!! HA HA

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      kimberlyslyricsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      If he had that outfit in white by chance?

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      Titen-Sxullposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Hypothetically of course right...
      
      Man I'd spend a long time talking to Satan but I think my main question would be, "What's with that God guy? What a total dick right? Burning people forever for the simplest of sins, getting his own son brutally killed for no damn reason when all he had to do was forgive people on his own. What's his problem? What crawled up his celestial ass?"
      
      And it would go on from there

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         Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         good one

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         Kylo88posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         ....isn't satan the one burning ppl tho??

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            Titen-Sxullposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            No. To my knowledge all versions of Christianity that still believe in Hell believe that it's God who sends people there. In the Bible it says God created Hell to punish the Devil and the angels who rebelled but in the end he tosses a whole bunch of humans in for good measure. Revelation 21:8 says unbelievers, magicians, cowards and a whole host of other undesirables are to be burned alive in a "Lake of Fire" for all eternity. So Satan isn't burning people he's being burned with them according to some interpretations. Like I said though to my knowledge all the interpretations that include Hell also have God as the final judge who decides who deserves to get burned and who gets into Heaven.

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               Kylo88posted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Well, actually there are several different interpretations of heaven and hell. The one I was always told was that the devil created hell and began to search for followers shortly after. I think it was a bit more than punishment for rebellion. ‘Cause hey, he's the devil, with almost as much power as God right? (he'd have to be that strong. Otherwise there wouldn't be an ongoing 'epic battle' lasting for centuries.) If he was unhappy with the situation, I'm pretty sure he could do something about it. lol
               But the basic problem IS interpretation. I personally think that there is no limit to the capacity of heaven and I like to believe that that God, who is said to forgive even the nastiest of sins, will give second chances. Be it a near death experience or even just strong hints in one’s life. I would hope that if he can forgive serial killers who confessed only once on their deathbeds, then he can forgive me for missing church last Sunday when I had a hangover. lol

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                  Titen-Sxullposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  Yeah, there are a lot of interpretations and it comes from the Bible being pretty vague about Hell and the Lake of Fire (it doesn't even mention whether those are two different things).
                  
                  I'm not a Christian anymore but back when I was I couldn't fathom the idea of why a loving God would burn people forever for mere disbelief. It's like a Believe or burn system or in some interpretations it works more like OBEY or Burn.

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                     Kylo88posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     i personaly don't believe that God is like that...or were you just agreeing with me? lol sorry. pulled an all nighter last night.

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                  Joanna Antoniouposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                  you must be kidding. Satan has almost as much power as God?... You do realize that satan is an archangel which btw is a creation of GOD! Did you know that in spiritual christian hierarchy, the archangels and angels are in the bottom? There are other spirits stronger.... so its not that God cant crush Satan any moment.  Think about it.  Its like God killing every human that make sins (sin= opposing His will)... Does this happen? Duhhh!!! We all know the answer.

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                     A Troubled Manposted 11 years agoin reply to this

                     Like, the Flood, for example?
                     
                     I hear Russell Crowe is playing Noah.

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      CollBposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      How did he have the gall to stand up to God in defying his authority and power to create human beings and what satisfaction does he get from doing this?

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      proactrdvposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      You've probably met Satan many times. Satan exists in the form of mean and evil people. So you probably will get to ask a lot of questions.

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         earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         The christians aren't all that bad are they?

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         just_curiousposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I've never met an evil person. But, maybe our definitions of evil are different. It seems a harsh thing to think of someone.

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   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   If Satan was real....
   
   Okay, I'll play along....
   
   I would say- Bend a knee boy, you're new master is in town.

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      Twenty One Daysposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      !!!

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         Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         You like that huh James?
         
         I figured I would play along.

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            Twenty One Daysposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            and rightly so...
            just a spot-on, gut buster. enjoyed it very much
            
            James

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   Doug Turner Jr.posted 13 years ago

   I'd ask him to dance in the pale moonlight. That way, if I ever used that line, it wouldn't only be metaphorical.

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      Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Satan introduces Jesus to hell and the folk in hell hate Jesus. Jesus tries to convince everybody that he’s suffering more than them
      
      I want the same suffering Jesus had from Satan

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   Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

   I'd ask him....WHERE'S THE BEEF!?!  

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      Richieb799posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I wouldn't ask him a question because you probably wouldn'nt get an honest reply

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         Kylo88posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         good point

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   pisean282311posted 13 years ago

   well if it exist...suppose it exist i would ask why the hell he and god are playing with humans...if needed we humans can great better games for both of them...i can understand both have nothing to do other than playing with humans but enough is enough...

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   superwagsposted 13 years ago

   Is your favourtie song "Sympathy for the Devil"?

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   just_curiousposted 13 years ago

   I suppose, if the stories are true, I'd have to ask him who told him he could play the fiddle well?

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      superwagsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Or how does he comb his hair to get those horns?

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         just_curiousposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         

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8. 59

   Beelzedadposted 13 years ago

   Why were you out so late again last night and where did you leave the car this time?

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   Daniel Carterposted 13 years ago

   I would ask,
   
   How in the world did you trick me into marrying your sister?????

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    Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years ago

    
    
    
    How do you explain your awesome ability to make Obama do your bidding?

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       Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Well, for the record, she was a former model, so she was quite pretty. But still, hell was invented in her.

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    prettydarkhorseposted 13 years ago

    "Can you fly me to the moon?"

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    Trail Otterposted 13 years ago

    Are you able to slow cook a brisket?

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    Greek Oneposted 13 years ago

    I would ask her if she was planning on running in 2012
    
    

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       Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Greek One
       
       Is not a matter of choosing the wrong group, she is Christian too

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          Greek Oneposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          no she's not... she's Alaskan

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             Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Alaskan Christian, I can never figure out what group of Christian make to Heaven.

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                Greek Oneposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                The Greek Orthodox do
                
                next question

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                   Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   That is a hell of a way to treat 2000 versions of the Bible

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                      Greek Oneposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                      I just care about the original one... written in Greek

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                         Beelzedadposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                         I wonder if Satan's been hanging around the Leafs bench these days?

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                            Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                            Watch out Beel, I saw Satan hiding behind a tree near your place, always be afraid................................not

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                            Greek Oneposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                            his influence upon the eastern conference standings has long been suspected, i can assure you

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                               Beelzedadposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                               Seems the Canucks could clinch the division title here very soon.

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                                  Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                  Only if Americans invades Canada

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                                     Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                     You can take that both ways, Canucks meaning Canadian, and no Canadian hockey team has won a Stanley Cup for decades.

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    superwagsposted 13 years ago

    If I'm making roast potatoes, should I par boil them first before placing in a hot oven or just cook them in the oven from scratch?

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       
       
       Par-boil AND refrigerate them overnight.  That way the sugars form and you get a nice golden crust.  Don't worry.  You and I will have an eternity to discuss cooking techniques.

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          superwagsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Oh yeah! That sounds terrific! Cheers Lucifer, I look forward to my rightful place in hell - particularly if I can spend the rest of eternity stuffing my face with roasties.

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          Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Sunnyside up please

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             Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Potatoes?

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       Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       ..Or how bout flame-broiled lol

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    knolyourselfposted 13 years ago

    How much would my soul be worth to you?

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    tritrainposted 13 years ago

    "Why do you and Santa both wear red and have the same letters in your name?"
    
    
    

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       Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       What the hell, I’m I doing here!  What the hell I’m I doing here!
       
       Ok Satan; who went to Heaven? The Jews.
       
       You have got 100 billion souls who ever down here, you are too busy torturing them all, so can I hang out in a hot night club with my friends.

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          lightning johnposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          You are a very strange man!

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             Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             It make sense if you believe the bible, the Bible only quote 144,000 make it to heaven........................................................................not

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    smartme99posted 13 years ago

    yeah why maybe becaus eyou both have s?

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    smartme99posted 13 years ago

    because sorry i messed up

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       Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       smartme99
       
       Welcome to hell, I mean hub pages

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    jay_kumar_07posted 13 years ago

    Jay   - Hi why you are very sad
    
    Devil - I am not interested in you. I need people those are very       
            much worried  about my work damage[test] on people.

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    optimus grimlockposted 13 years ago

    I would ask him if hes still seeing saddam

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       Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I wonder too

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    earnestshubposted 13 years ago

    I'd probably ask him how big hell is that it can handle accommodation for all the televangelists.

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       pisean282311posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       

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    BunuBobuposted 13 years ago

    I would ask for the recipe for cold fusion.
    Hell doesn't consumes humans but just burns them eternally.
    This eternal fire is a self sustaining energy source which could solve our dependence on fossil fuel.
    
    Also, I would ask if televangelists got on their knees or bent over for him.

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       Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Our Canadian government consumes our money to experiment with humans manure and burns it into fossil fuel, it all maybe BS yet a good idea too

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          BunuBobuposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Hmmm, you are Canadian?
          
          Well I must warn you, I am allergic to Celine Dion and Bryan Adams.
          But Avril rocks!
          
          Human manure is actually quite a great idea. I am tired of OPEC and if there is a hell, I am sure they will have to bend over.

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    WryLiltposted 13 years ago

    I'd say "Are you real or are those drugs kicking in?"

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       Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Human manure is the most toxic of all animals and it’s a great danger running into our waterway. I know manure can be turn it into energy because I work on eco villages,
       
       It's just the Government protects every known evil known to man, no pun intended.

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          Kylo88posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          dude...did you hang out here all day??

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             Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             My method for human waste is by composed soil for my bamboo plants for housing construction. Smells less than conventional methods and it’s the best food for plants.
             
             I have friends that turn human mature into energy; my stomach is not ready for that yet. Maggot and smell of human waste makes my coffee taste terrible

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    Kylo88posted 13 years ago

    did you really go down to Georgia?
    
    lolz. i was looking for that. i cant believe no one has been that corny yet!

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    Niteriterposted 13 years ago

    I'd ask for an exclusive on the sins required to get my Adsense earnings into the "obscene" category.

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       HattieMattieMaeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       hmm I wouldn't ask him anything! Just kick him to the curb, stomp on his head, and tell him, "you are out of here!"
       
       We don't need you!
       We don't want you!
       We can live with out you!
       Nothing useful for Satan to do in my life anyway.
       He just wasting his time!

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          Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Sounds like Christians act to me, you did not leave earth,

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             HattieMattieMaeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             nope, but why  acknowledge him, he is just negativity! Something to many people focus on! There are brighter things to think about than dwelling on this factor!

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                Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                All in in the spirit of playing along with us, your right, dwelling too much, sucks

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    Brenda Durhamposted 13 years ago

    I would ask him nothing. Nada. Zip. 
    Because...been there, done that.  I rather liked his answer at first.  But then all hell broke loose and I didn't like it at all.   This is serious business, people. But carry on if you must.  I'm not against him being the butt of a joke or two!

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       Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Brenda Durham
       
       I saw some Christians claiming to have gone to real hell and back, but never met one, you mean you have been to hell?
       
       Satan introduces Jesus to hell, how come non believer never get to talk to Satan or visit?

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          Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Nope.  Never been to hell.  Ain't gonna even go there.  And yes I've seen people who say they've been there.  I think it's possible they had a vision of hell, yes, but not literally gone there.
          Sympathy for him would take me there.
          I've read your hub.  And you wouldn't like my assessment of the views expressed in it, so I said nothing.   
          'nuf said on that.
          
          Talking to him?   Been there, done that, in effect.  You can too if you wish.  But beware.  He's not a metaphor like you think.  Again, be careful what you wish for.  And since you don't even claim to have the armor of God, you'll be an easy target for him.  Well, according to the Bible, you already are under his thumb, since non-believers are required to choose one or the other; not making a choice equals to the same as making a choice......
          I don't let him ask me any questions either.  He's full of subtlety as the Bible exposes.  The Bibles says resist him and he will flee from you.   Why do you have such curiosity about him that you'd want to talk to him?   And "visit" him?   oh dear; LOL....But serious stuff indeed.  I think he gives out one-way tickets.  Is that what you want?

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             Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             More threats to convert me to your one and only, just like many of the other Religions do too, Not a sign of an all loving God and who allows this greatest cause of War to continue. I feel safe with most of the people on earth who are not even aware of Yahweh or Jealous or whatever his name is God.
             
             Beside your God said -one will be judged by ones fruits and I don't think he meant gays or by the brain washer’s . I get enough fruits and nuts for Christmas.

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                Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Are you sure you haven't been talkin' with Satan after all??
                Because your post says a lot of the same kindsa stuff he says.....like, ya know, accusing God of being unloving.  Similar to what another poster around here says so much too, about God causing wars and all ...... I mean, gee, it's become like a broken record.  Are ya sure your mind isn't brainwashed with that broken record?    The Bible calls Satan the "accuser of the brethren".......how ironic.

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                   earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   This is scary talk Brenda. I am always concerned for those who feel they have the capacity to see a direct link from what a person has written in disagreement to your belief in a satan.
                   I thought it was a joke at first, but you are serious aren't you?

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    Amber Mandalaposted 13 years ago

    I would ask," so, who is your twin flame?"

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       Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I think of Satan as a metaphor for your own realization of problems, in which enlighten your awareness. I never go looking for tragedies, yet when it comes, I deal with it gracefully, and it takes me to a higher energy level. Why blame on Satan or be torture for eternity over sin rather than adjusting  that mistakes

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          Amber Mandalaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          I agree. I think it's an analogy for the ego. Not say that negative energies don't exist. To conquer yourself would be as though you were to conquer many worlds. If I had to walk in fear of God and hell and life, all of my life, it would be a hell unto it's own. I choose to love and appreciate this life regardless of my perceived flaws.  Not as a beginning of eternity but as an experience in eternity. After all eternity is my heaven. We are co creators here. What are we creating? It's an incredible opportunity to experience life here. I have a saying, Iv'e been to heaven and iv'e been through hell and they have both been powerful teachers.

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    Jason Hillposted 13 years ago

    I would ask if he really bought souls and try to cut a deal for a night out with Eva Mendes. I might also ask for an unsecure credit limit at the Palms, and I'd like to know who the heck really shot JFK and whats going on in area 51.

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       BunuBobuposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       LOL.
       ONE question only!
       
       Personally I think the devil is misunderstood, so maybe I would ask if I could write his official biography. Hopefully I won't have to donate the proceeds and he/she/it will throw in Eternal life ON EARTH.
       
       Imagine living beyond the extinction of all other members of the human race.

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          Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Read my Save Satan hub.

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             BunuBobuposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Excellent hub indeed!

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                Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Thanks

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    HattieMattieMaeposted 13 years ago

    Well by arguing your point with him you are doing the same thing by not showing love towards him, understand full well why people are choosing their positions because we don't live out the word in our conversations with them, and try to force them to think what we personally believe. Through our actions we speak louder than words. Some times it's just best to keep our own opinions to ourselves what we believe because when we think we know who God is and think we have arrived, we usually haven't arrived in our full understanding of who he is!  So when we judge another person, we only ask them to judge us back!

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       Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, it is a balance of Global expressive opinions in an over ego world.

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       Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Oh really?
       I suppose you'd call it "love" for him if I told him it's okey-dokey okay to yearn to talk to Satan?
       Whatever! 
       But hey, thanks sooooo much for inserting your little insults into a conversation where the other poster asked me to elaborate on things.
       And if you think people can't know who God is, think again.  Because He reveals enough of who and what He is in the Bible for anyone who yearns to know what He wants us to know.  No, no one on earth has "arrived" at full understanding of God, but those of us who know the Lord can indeed judge right from wrong, and Satan is wrong all over the Bible.   I've only "judged" what Castlepaloma says in his own words in this thread and in his hub----that he wants to "save Satan" and yet thinks he is only a "metaphor".    You said "asks to judge us back" like I'm asking for it or something!  Whatever!  If you or he or anyone else wants to "judge" me, go right ahead.  Because you'd have to judge me by the word of God which says I'm a forgiven child of God who Loves Him who gave His life for me.   So your judgement of me would make not one whit of difference to me!   Nor to God.  But try it if you like.

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          Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Been there done that thing called Christianity, it only proves my point it is an over ego world. How anyone judge a whole soul that made up of millions of parts. Yet Christians are the champion at judging even to the point of blowing up the world in 2012. I feel happy co creating with God and enjoy the spiritual unknown as in hope and wonder.
          
          Insults do not bother me, if it's true, I'm learning something. If I ever see that seven headed dragon Satan, I'll believe you,
          
          Util then, be honesty and do not harm for God is all loving and everyone is God.

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             Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Umm.
             No.  According to the Bible, God is not "all-loving" in the sense that you seem to imply.   God is Judge also.  God is Love, yes, the Bible says that.  So much so that Jesus the Christ died so you'd have the opportunity along with everyone else to repent and be born-again.  But He is Almighty; the One who has the power to "destroy both soul and body in hell." (Matthew 10: 28).  He is the Jealous God who offers everyone the choice to Love Him too.  Or not, as they choose.
             But indeed I don't understand why everyone doesn't Love Him!  He is easy to Love!
             
             ...I'm replying to your post mainly because of your last three words.  Ahem..
             You can go on believing you're God if you wish! LOL
             But don't ever lump me in that erroneous belief! (You said "everyone").  Because I am NOT God.  And if I thought for one second that YOU are God, I'd be finding you and kissing your feet.   So, indeed, you can rest assured I'm not gonna be doing that!

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                Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Kissing one’s feet would have fewer germs than kissing someone on the mouth, not a bad idea. That could make many people feel more important and respected rather kissing a ghost, paying money and wishing.
                
                Yahweh requires extreme conditional love in order for a few to get to heaven wail the rest of us go to hell, a very poor sign of an all loving God.
                
                I love you and everyone the same (as god), everyone on earth is my Family,(as god) like an old wise tree in which is not foolish enough to fight with it's own branches.

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       Beelzedadposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Well said Hattie!

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    Unbidden Wrathposted 13 years ago

    Chances are that were you to suddenly find yourself in the presence of the original and most definitive source of all evil, you wouldn't/couldn't say much at all.
    
    You'd be hard pressed to even scream.
    
    Everything that translates as your psyche would pack up and die in that very moment.

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       BunuBobuposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Sounds like the Nuns at my old school.
       Even now when I see I Nun walk past me on the street, I shiver and almost pack up and die. Thank Buddha for my beads I never take off.

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    DoubleScorpionposted 13 years ago

    Well. First I will suppose that he is as claimed...In this case I would ask him this question...Since you are an angel and lacked freewill as the humans do...How did you manage to defy god and end up in the current state you are in? Did god tell you how and what to do? Or do angels in fact have freewill as well? And if God didn't allow this and angel in fact don't have freewill, then how did it all happen?

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       earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       A fair question I feel.

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    aka-djposted 13 years ago

    I'd ask him, "whet (the hell) were you thinking? " (to challenge God, I mean).
    Stupid with a capital STU.

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    Onusonusposted 13 years ago

    I would ask him to depart hence from me, for his glory is darkness to me...

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    ConspireToInspireposted 13 years ago

    Now this would be one hell of a conversation. Literally. First, before any questions, I would tell Lucifer that I admire his courage. I mean, the guy stood up to GOD for god's sake. Ha! I don't pretend to know the whole story, but that has got to take some balls. I would ask him how he did it. Why he did it. Was it worth it? An eternity of hell? This is a little difficult to think about, I admit. I don't exactly believe in the guy, just putting that out there.
    I think me and Satan could talk about a lot. I would ask him for advice on certain aspects of my life, and then do the opposite. Or not...depending...hehe.

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