10 facts that prove i'm god.

1. 62

   Evan G Rogersposted 13 years ago

   1) the other day, some dude called me god.
   
   2) when some guy yelled "Jesus Christ", I looked around.
   
   3) The other day, I created a universe. Don't believe me? Come on over and see it.
   
   4) God created man in his own image, and I just noticed that a LOT of people look similar to me.
   
   5) According to that guy over there, he thinks I'm god. G'head and ask him.
   
   6) Those people who say that I'm not god are all terrorist who are just using the fear of hell to sway you from believing in Me.
   
   7) I got mad at some lady who ate an apple the other day.
   
   8) I created time the other day: the clock said 8:43, but I knew it was really 8:45. So I changed it.
   
   9) All the people who wrote the bible aren't alive any more, but if you were to go back in time and ask them, they'd say that I was god. How do I know? BECAUSE I'M GOD AND I DID ASK THEM!! SUCK IT
   
   10) Last night, when I was banging 30 prostitutes, they kept yelling "oh god... oh god".
   
   
   G'NIGHT EVERY BODY!!!

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   1. 0

      Texasbetaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Evan's personality is so magnetic, he can't carry credit cards.

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   2. 60

      Druid Dudeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      You can't be God, because I'm his son, and YOU don't look anything like him....wait a minute! Mom. Could I talk to you alone? (1 hr. pause) What? No! The milk man? Hey, Evan...you ever been a milk man?

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      1. 62

         Evan G Rogersposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         LOOK UPON ME AND KNOW THE TRUTH, MY SON.

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            Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            This dude is too space out to handle the truth.
            
            I'm your real Father

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            1. 62

               Evan G Rogersposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               I AM MY OWN FATHER, AND THE LIGHT, AND THE DARKNESS!!

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               1. 79

                  earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  I know! I can tell by the CAPS that every word is true!

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                  1. 76

                     Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     I travel so much, I think I found his Mother in a bar, washing her sins away, YES, maybe, I think maybe. I’m just an earthling …father,
                     
                     How could you know, can GOD see from living in the DARK all the time
                     Please forgive, me, please (gulp) no no don’t kill… no no please (cry cry) don’t kill…meeee

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2. 60

   John Holdenposted 13 years ago

   

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3. 60

   Doug Hughesposted 13 years ago

   Not only that - when Evan is on this side of the pool and his drink is on that side of the pool, he walks straight across to get it. Impressive to see.

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4. 71

   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   

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   1. 76

      Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Last night, you banged 30 prostitutes
      
      God or no God I would get that checked out
      
      I think everybody is God, with you on that..

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5. 0

   Emile Rposted 13 years ago

   Oh my god.  Or should I say oh my Evan?  I've been searching for you all my life.  Not to point out the obvious, but I thought you'd be taller.

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   1. 62

      Evan G Rogersposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      lol

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6. 76

   thisisoliposted 13 years ago

   This is actually not a bad idea, but I think you should expand it a little.
   
   ie.
   
   for the argument made by all those people who do not read books (science cannot explain how life arose)
   
   7) Science cannot explain how life arose to the lazy and/or illiterate - Therefore it must have been me who created all life on earth.

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   1. 76

      Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Oh Evan!!! My God and heavens to betsy heavens too
      
      I will following you everywhere you go, follow every word you say, praise every fart you make, live by every move you make.
         
      What? you want me to f*** Off. How do you want me to f*** off, slave master.

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      1. 62

         Evan G Rogersposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         WITH THOUEST THUMB!

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         1. 76

            Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            OwwwwccCH, YES GOD your the best

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7. 72

   mrpopoposted 13 years ago

   *begins worshiping Evan*
   
   I have already sacrificed a goat and burnt a Harry Potter book in your name. The shrine is still in construction.

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   1. 76

      Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I hope you ate the goat or else, how mid evil of you

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   2. 62

      Evan G Rogersposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I AM PLEASED!!!

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8. 71

   Spirit Whispererposted 13 years ago

   Very Go od!

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9. 61

   American Viewposted 13 years ago

   You banged 30 prostitutes last night, you are a God

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10. 61

    American Viewposted 13 years ago

    We're not worthy!

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11. 79

    earnestshubposted 13 years ago

    I didn't know you were god, I would have been suckier if I knew that before!

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12. 62

    Evan G Rogersposted 13 years ago

    a few quick points about this post that I wanted to explain---
    
    1) I'm making fun of that "10 facts that prove osama isn't dead" forum.
    
    2) I really don't think i'm god.
    
    3) I INTENTIONALLY kept "i'm" lower case in the title to be ironic.
    
    4) I love the responses. This is hilarious.

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    1. 79

       earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Your not really god??????????????????????????????????????????????????
       
       I just burned a whole library!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    2. 72

       mrpopoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Surely this is a test, o Lord of the Heavens. I am in the process of making a large wooden vessel and bringing 2 of each animal on board, in accordance to your threats of a "big-ass flood".

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       1. 76

          Castlepalomaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Yes, another test of our faith, we can't manage to run our  lives on our own, EVER.
          
          I thought it was red dragon burning up the earth this time, I never know where the word of GOD is coming from, I think I AM GOING INSANE it's really colourful like Jerami said it would be.

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13. 79

    earnestshubposted 13 years ago

    Hey god! You know all that stuff I said about you? I was joking right?

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    1. 62

       Evan G Rogersposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I KNOW ALL

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14. 61

    Ron Montgomeryposted 13 years ago

    

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    1. 62

       Evan G Rogersposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       rofl

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15. 65

    dafreesanposted 13 years ago

    oh god, now i'll believe in god!

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16. 68

    AnnCeeposted 13 years ago

    

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