So God is this all powerful, all knowing being who's always been around.
So after a while, either God gets bored or he's just a dick, so he decides to create our Universe.
So he thinks, "Hey, I should make some lesser beings and totally hook them up with the Garden of Eden." So he creates Adam and Eve. But then, "This is a lot more boring than I thought, let's throw in a curve ball." So he creates the forbidden Tree of Knowledge and obviously the serpent that tempts Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve screw themselves and as a result God decides to screw every other human being that will ever be. Because well, he's bored. I mean honestly, why even do that? He could've left out the tree and Adam and Eve would've been fine. I'll tell you why, FOR TEH LULZ.
So now we've got a crapsack world where people need to sacrifice things and shit to appease to God because he's just so in need of ritual sacrifice. And if they don't sacrifice things, they're gonna burn in Hell for teh lulz. I mean think about it, does God really care if you stabbed a goat or not? After a few hundred years, God get's bored again and decides, hey, maybe these people aren't SO bad. Maybe i'll give em a chance to come and chill with me for life.
So he sends Jesus (mind you, he totally gets a virgin preggo, also for the lulz) his son with magical powers and ends up screwing him as well. I mean, at least give Jesus some badass way to bring all the people to your religion. Water into Wine? Walking on water? Cool parlor tricks, but people are just going to assume he's a witch.
Anywho, God's all like "Son, go save the people from this crapsack world i'm 100% responsible for by dying nailed to a cross. Don't worry, you'll respawn in 3 days. No harm, no foul."
I bet Jesus is all like, "wtf dad, can't you just do this without me having to die like that?" And God's probably like, "LOL wut. I'm God. Do as I say."
So after Jesus gets tortured, killed, and resurrected, everyone gets to chill with God for eternity. But only if they believe that Jesus died for their sins.
I wonder if Jesus asked, "But dad, what about the people on the other side of the world?" And God's like "lol whatevs."
Now God's just chilling while people take his so called "word" and do crazy shit with it (wars, gay hate, etc) and just gets the ultimate lulz.
I wish I was God.
You do realize that not everyone shares the same idea of God, right?
Also, if you want to have a serious discussion(which I can't imagine you do), trying to start it off with presenting someone's idea in a ridiculous fashion(for teh lulz) is not only immature, its a logical fallacy that argues against your own point.
Don't worry, you'll respawn in 3 days. No harm, no foul."
I feel like there's a wow joke in there somewhere but I'm tired, lol. Anyway, it is a pretty crazy story isn't it.
I agree some of the conclusions humanity has come to believe are absolute truths are at best far fetched possibilities.
Funny way of pointing that out...lol
The oxymoronic beliefs that an all-powerful all-inclusive being is somehow lacking in it's omniscience and therefore has needs? (worship, belief from inferior beings, sacrifices, protection from harm...the list goes on and on.)
"Let's wrap our heads around God for a second."
I've been trying to do that my whole life.
by Chris Remmie 4 years ago
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by Debra Allen 2 years ago
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by Deaconess 8 years ago
Where does it say that God "sacrificed" his son, or sent him to "die" for us? Please cite chapter and verse. Thank you.
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