I'd like some feedback/advice on writing my first diary style hub

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   Adam Harkusposted 8 years ago

   So far I've been doing Guitar gear review type hubs, but I've always wanted to write about my experiences in India, I'd really appreciate any feedback on my first attempt / instalment.
   
   http://adamharkus.hubpages.com/hub/Indi … on-in-Life

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      Elsie Hagleyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Break up the text to more modules, add photos and videos to break up the reading span. Add a poll to engage the reader, a few ideas.
      It must have been scary being alone traveller, enjoyed reading it.

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      Reynold Jayposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Elsie seems to have it in hand for you. I would imagine jump in there with what you envision and go for it.

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   RonElFranposted 8 years ago

   I scanned your first two paragraphs (as I think readers who don't know you would), asking myself why I should read this. I saw nothing that caught my interest. If there had been something in those paragraphs that established a context other than just a report on your personal experiences, I might have wanted to at least explore the article a little more. As it is, unless I either knew you personally, or had some all-consuming interest in anything I could find about Mumbai or India, I wouldn't read this. That's a personal reaction, and I hope it helps.

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      Adam Harkusposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thats just the sort of advivce I was looking for. Much appreciated, i'll make a few tweaks.

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   chasmacposted 8 years ago

   I found your hub to be very well written. I also found it to be engrossing because your experiences brought back vivid memories of my first trip to India back in the 80s. The stress that comes from the seemingly chaotic way things are done there can leave you unnecessarily exhausted, mistrustful and a nervous wreck, as you describe very well in your Hub.
   
   Ron and the others do make good points. As an experienced traveller in Asia, I found it engrossing, and didn't notice the lack of photos or formatting, so to make your Hub more appealing to a wider audience, you should take heed of their advice.
   
   Another point to consider is that HubPages doesn't welcome with open arms Hubs that they consider to be 'purely personal'. It's one of their reasons for unfeaturing Hubs, when it eventually comes to their attention. Your Hub shouldn't be considered like that because it contains very useful information for any first time travellers to one of the world's most fascinating destinations. But if you find that it does become unfeatured, you may have to restyle it slightly to make it more obviously a "How to travel in India" kind of Hub based on your personal experience. I look forward to your follow up Hubs.

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      Adam Harkusposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Glad you enjoyed the article and sorry to hear hubpages may unfeature it as I enjoy writing this sort of thing the most. Lets see how it goes.

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         Marisa Wrightposted 8 years agoin reply to this

         Others have given you good advice. 
         
         Online readers hate indigestible chunks of text.  Add sub-headings.
         
         Always break your text up over several capsules, even if you've got nothing else to add, because it makes it easier to rearrange later as you learn more about layout.
         
         You need images, either your own or images you can legally use.  You'll find a Hub about using photos legally on my profile in the "Spotlight" slider. 
         
         I am also concerned about the chances of this Hub being unFeatured because it is "purely personal".  My advice?  Wait and see!   If it is, then see if you can rewrite it in a way that presents your experience as a useful lesson for prospective travellers.

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