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Dear Denny Lyon,

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    Am I dead, yet?posted 7 years ago

    I wanted to make this post because I realized I had not caught up reading a hubber whose work I admired so. I clicked on one of your topics that was of specific interest to me because of what I deal with on a daily basis.  Coping--and that is trying to emerge from an abusive pattern I have found myself in since childhood.  It is hard.  When some one says to you 'oh you have so much to live for, or so much to look forward to' or just 'get over' it, in repetition, those are only fallen words, when that individual did not have to walk in my shoes.  I never made it a habit to say to someone, 'things will get better'.  Oftentimes, it does not.  But what I have come to realize--you have to want to be better.  And that you have to practice getting better.  I am.  I am trying.  It hurts, but I will make it.  My still being here still is so far--so good.

    Anyway, Denny,  you wrote a hub some time ago, for my birthday.  And I am just now reading it.  I just wanted you to know, Denny, that I really needed to see that today.  I have been down, and feeling mighty bad today. I was trying to find something positive to read.  Then I found your hub.  I just want you do know, Denny--that made me feel as if the sun parted the clouds for me on this day, and I know that I must continue to want to do my very best and continue to want to carry on.

    Thank you, Denny.  I want the world to know that I appreciated your hub, very much.

    Eternally grateful,

    aka Am I dead, yet?

    'Denny's hub'  "Push abuse out of your life and out of your head.'
    http://hubpages.com/hub/Push-Abuse-Out- … -Your-Head

    1. Denny Lyon profile image81
      Denny Lyonposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Hi, Sandy, thank you so much for this incredible open letter, wow, that's a first for me!

      When I was healing from the decades of terrible pain I, too, used to look for positive things in my life:  from art to writing to needlework creations to reading, cruising anywhere just to keep my spiritual spark alive.  This is a good habit to keep up because eventually, you will find, is that filling yourself with positive good things, especially good thoughts, will crowd out the negative ones over time.

      I chose to speed up the process and work on it from the deepest level, the spiritual.  It's tough and sometimes scary working with Spirit but I can say it is definitely worth dealing with all the vivid scenes brought back up to you to review.  It's pretty amazing how Spirit will coach you in your dreams, your drifting off daydreams, your memories, all to bring to a conclusion of dissolving the past negative emotions. 

      It does take a whole lot of effort and time.  Figure out some coping skills for yourself as you are in process.  What was fun for me one day was when I finally looked up and started grinning:  no more bad memories that scorched my soul, not even a few crumbs left to sweep away.  There really IS a God and God lives in all of us, wanting us to choose to thrive. 

      Life is full of tough choices.  I found the smartest choice for me was to ally my spirit with Spirit and it's been comfortable sailing ever since. I never was much for submission or yielding as most religions teach but spiritual partnership is something Spirit suggested and, it turned out that it appealed to me greatly.  People of high intelligence just can't do mindless following. Besides, Spirit isn't interested in mindless followers but rather those who will reach their full potential through a connectedness nourished by unconditional Love.  Keep pushing through the muck until you get what we all deserve:  LOVE!

      Know that I care deeply for you and understand what you are living this moment.  Also, know that you can overcome this mess as you keep putting one foot in front of the other and literally walk your way out of it all step by step - one at a time they do add up.  Sometimes, it can get so bad trying to process that negative energy that you have to focus upon the smallest increments of time to make it to the next hour.  That's where favorite creative things to do come in.  They will help distract you and lift you up when you are processing.

      You are actually in a better state than you think.  Feeling this negative means you are becoming more and more aware of yourself on the spiritual level.  Right now the negativity stinks.  First is awareness, then comes the desire to start house cleaning.  You are entering that second stage.  As you start forcing out the muck, you will find the negative periods become shorter and shorter in duration and you will get more relief. 

      I'm still praying good things for you, Sandy, know there are many who pray for us all.  Who cares what religion or belief?  I've had Buddhists, Taoists, Hindu, Christian, Jewish, pagan, Wiccan and many others pray goodwill for me over the years and I welcome their love.  It was their love that helped me heal. 

      Carefully, open yourself up to receive real Love just on a spiritual level from others in the Spirit.  You don't have to trust specific people or situations - just the Spirit - and all will turn out well over time.  Recognize that you are loved by those who choose Love and choose to be connected to All and Spirit.  Recognize I'm your biggest cheerleader and that I have faith in you to win this battle!  Now, go kick some "muck butt" and reclaim your life. No one gets to own your life but darling you!

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        Am I dead, yet?posted 7 years ago in reply to this


        Again, thank you.  Many blessings to you and to everyone who has given me positive well wishes.  This really means worlds to me.  I extend my thanks to everyone--every awesome one on the HubPages!

        -fantastic hugs and well wishes-

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    poetlorraineposted 7 years ago

    brave thread, well done off to read this now.....

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      Am I dead, yet?posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thank you, very much.

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        poetlorraineposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I READ THE HUB ... It is soooo nice, how are you now, your work is magical it really really is,,,,,,,, i always love your pictures too

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          Am I dead, yet?posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          I am better from tome to time, thank you for asking Dear Brenda. I do appreciate your comment.

  3. Benjimester profile image89
    Benjimesterposted 7 years ago

    Cool.  Thanks for sharing the Hublove

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      Am I dead, yet?posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Anytime, Benji! Thanks for reading and commenting.

  4. I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s profile image61
    I*n*v*i*c*t*u*sposted 7 years ago

    wow..Thant was amazing and so are you AIDY! Thank you so much for sharing!

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      Am I dead, yet?posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      you are welcomed, I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s..you know, it is fun to type your Hub name! big_smile

  5. 61
    HealthTipposted 7 years ago

    Am off to read it my good friend AIDY, in the meantime take one huge hug and know I am thinking of you x

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      Am I dead, yet?posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      -Superhugs- dear friend. And a couple of kisses as well big_smile

  6. Jane@CM profile image61
    Jane@CMposted 7 years ago

    Off to read it also, just wanted to state that it is so wonderful to hear that someone lifted you up today.

  7. Daniel Carter profile image91
    Daniel Carterposted 7 years ago

    Curiosity got to me and so I've investigated a bit.

    What can I say but thank you AIDY and Denny for your remarkable words and works.

    This is a good place good days and bad.

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    poetlorraineposted 7 years ago

    hugs back you deserve them.........