Suicide hub: critiques needed as soon as possible

1. 61

   saleheensblogposted 13 years ago

   http://hubpages.com/hub/Suicide-Prevent … nd-Suicide
   http://hubpages.com/hub/Suicide-Prevent … of-Suicide
   http://hubpages.com/hub/Suicide-Prevent … nt-Suicide
   
   The above three hubs have been published. I will publish at least four more hub on the series.
   
   1."Introduction to suicide and suicide prevention" that will contain a summary of the series and an introduction to suicide.
   2."Tips to talk with a suicidal person" that will consist some tips on talking with a suicidal person.
   3."Suicide hotlink" that will contain necessary links and the need of using hotlinks.
   4. "Common misconceptions of suicide" that will contain some common mistakes done when handling a suicidal person.
   
   All the posted hubs are incomplete. I will interlink the hubs and add tags, introduction summary and conclusion. I need to know if I am doing things right. Any suggestion is is highly valued.

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2. 67

   lrohnerposted 13 years ago

   Salesheen, These were simply too long for me to read every bit, but the first one seemed pretty good except for the grammar. I really would suggest that you run it through a grammar checker first.
   
   If you have someone who has English as their first language that can proofread, all the better because there are some terms that you use that don't make sense or just don't convey what you mean very well.
   
   For instance, you say "Sometimes the platform behind a suicidal tendency is very significant sometimes silly." I don't know anyone that would use the word "silly" when discussing suicide. Or here, the meaning of "isolation" has nothing to do with the rest of the sentence: "Isolation like divorce, breaking up with the beloved one, separation and so on." You talk about AIDS as a "hated" illness. While I know what you mean, the word "hated" is not the one that you wanted. "Feeling guilty of something that hurt" just doesn't make sense to me either. And there are quite a few other examples...
   
   It's a shame because I think you have good ideas, but your grammar may not convey them as well as they could.

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   1. 61

      saleheensblogposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks a lot for the insight, I will seek for help immediately.
      
      Oh God, I feel suicidal for my stupid English.

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      1. 61

         GeneriqueMediaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I'll read through these ASAP. At quick glance, they look informative.
         
         I might recommend putting the "Warning Signs" along with other information instead of devoting one article to it, but that's just semantics.
         
         On another note, one way to lengthen the "Warning Signs" would be to discuss ways to get someone's mind off of hurting themselves, how to approach someone, etc.
         
         Longer articles do receive higher scores...and besides, do you want to be a confused person questioning if they or someone else is suicidal..and have them hunt for bite sized portions of info?
         
         Those are just some suggestions--but as it stands, your hubs do appear to be off the ground and doing well to help others.

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         1. 61

            saleheensblogposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I considered your suggestion but finally decided to go for 10 hubs and currently 5 of them are published. I wrote a separate hub on how to deal with suicidal person rather than adding it with "warning signs".
            
            Thank you for your thoughts.

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      2. 60

         John Holdenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Have to say I'm pretty much in agreement with Irohner, there is a lot of good in there but having to wrestle with some of your phraseology does distract from the message.
         
         Would it be out of place to offer you some help? I couldn't commit to proofread all, but if you want to send me a word doc of a hub I'd be more than happy to make suggestions of how you could alter it for a clearer meaning.
         
         And don't feel too bad, I know a fair few people with English as a first language who can't express themselves as well as you do:)

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            saleheensblogposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            thank you very much for your kindness, but I think it will be too much work for you to do. If you are still interested I would love to take the favor.

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3. 71

   SteveoMcposted 13 years ago

   The content appears to be good.  You may want to tweak your hubs some for content as your skills improve, however, they are very informative and considerate.   
   
   The suggestions that you received were generally very good.   I would suggest that a way to improve your grammar and syntax would be to write out well written paragraphs for practice.   
   
   I would like to suggest a hub for you to write.   I suspect that it could be a series of hubs.  I think you should write about the acquisition of English and the trouble with grammar and other English language complexities.   Your struggles with the finer points would be very interesting, and informative for other English language learners. 
   
   You have a very good sense of English and it appears to need improvement in only the finer points.   If I had to write in any  other language, I would be the world's worst.

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      Pcunixposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Yes - that would be a very interesting hub and I'd want to read it in spite of being a native English speaker.
      
      Do it!

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   2. 61

      saleheensblogposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      thanks for idea, I will start working on it right now.

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4. 78

   schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years ago

   Hi, it's sometimes good if you can say you have experience - I haven't read yours, but feel free to read mine
   it's called something or other, how to prevent suicide , i forget but it's under mental health.

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