Feeling like the only one In my pregnancy state of being.

1. 59

   caicai1015posted 15 years ago

   Well I found out that I was having  a boy on thursday the 5 of this month. I called my hubby to be to tell him that we were having a boy and that I really needed his help now with finding out baby names. So later that night, I was sitting there on the computer looking up more baby names to add to the list of ones that I had already had. So he's sitting there playing playstation3 and Im reading off baby boy names..all he could was "well....unhhhh...god no!" I told him if he cant help me figure out a name Im name him whatever I wanted and he wasnt going to get hubbys name for the babys middle name. So the next name that read off, he was like " oh i like that one". So now my baby was name with the fist name his dad finally said and didnt give much thought to some of the other names i had read off. Its a really unique name which i wanted cause my name is unique, but should he have settled for the first name he thought that was fine????? I thought maybe men would have a blast of fun with at least participating in the whole nine months thing. but I guess not. my best friend just found out so was prego also and she told her boyfriend and then all of the sudden he calls her from work and starts talking about baby names with her. I was like dude can you at least wait till you find out what your having in 5 months. she all was like " he's just excited thats all". shit wish mine would be that happy to just call me up and start talking about baby things with me. I feel like my best friend and i have talked more and planned out more for my baby then the hubby. can anyone tell me why guys do this or are they just completely oblivious when it come to planning for their offspring? has any one else gone through this?   

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2. 88

   stephhicks68posted 15 years ago

   I'm sorry that your husband to be doesn't seem very excited about the baby.  Congratulations, by the way, on a baby boy.  My husband told me that it seemed pretty foreign to him when I was pregnant because it was happening to me, and not him.  You may want to try to go out to dinner with your hubby to be and just tell him how excited you are about the baby and see if there is a way to engage him.  When he's playing Playstation, that's a tough time to get his attention.  If he's into sports, then maybe you can talk about decorating the crib or nursery in a particular theme?  Maybe have a joint baby shower with guys and gals over for a BBQ and beer (not for you of course... LOL).  Just some ideas - but realize that some men just don't really connect until the baby arrives.  That's when it gets real for them.

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3. 84

   Marisa Wrightposted 15 years ago

   Caicai, my first reaction whenever anyone comes on the forums asking "why is my husband like this?" is - have you asked him?
   
   When communication breaks down, that's when marriages fail.  If you're wondering why your husand is acting in a particular way and don't feel you can ask him, that's a sign you need to do something about the communication in your marriage before it goes any further downhill.
   
   Was this a planned pregnancy?   How did he feel when you found out you were pregnant?  Is he looking forward to having a family, or is he worried about how you'll afford it, or scared of being a father (in which case he may be in denial)? 
   
   Is he enjoying having a sexy pregnant wife (some women feel very horny when preggers) or is he turned off by it, or is he frightened he'll hurt the baby because no one has explained it to him - or have there been pregnancy problems that have turned you off sex, in which case he may be feeling neglected? 
   
   How has your behaviour changed since you got pregnant?   Has all your attention already turned to baby, baby, baby when it used to be husband, husband, husband?  Or are you still the same loving couple?

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4. 61

   Courtney_CollinsDposted 15 years ago

   Well, I just had a baby boy almost three months ago now and during the pregnancy I kept my husband very involved. I mean it wasn't planned and we were both freaked out at first but when it seemed to really click for him was when he first felt the baby move. After that it was hard to keep his hands off my stomach for five seconds. So who knows really, all men are different.
   
   If you can see the baby moving already, not sure if you can or not, then take a bath and invite him to stay in the bathroom with you. Unless your baby isn't very active when you're relaxing in the bath tub, mine was, and my husband was always in there right next to me staring at my stomach expecting the baby to do flips or something.

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5. 59

   caicai1015posted 15 years ago

   not quite yet waiting for that though. he moves around ALOT that's without a doubt.im just waitng to see an elbow or foot push though. i keep him involed and he wants to be involed but why is that i feel like that? i just got off the phone him and he was asking about the baby and i started to cry.

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6. 84

   Marisa Wrightposted 15 years ago

   I think you need to sit him down and tell him your worries.  Your hormones are all over the place which means you're emotionally vulnerable, and it's important you feel secure.  At the same time, he's watching a woman he loves going through some amazing - and for him, scary - changes, so maybe he's just finding the whole thing a bit overwhelming.  Men tend to switch off in those circumstances!

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7. 59

   caicai1015posted 15 years ago

   will do thank you guys so much for the advice. he's been gone for two weeks and finally gets to come home today. i think that i might do that.

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8. 0

   Erin Hillposted 15 years ago

   Hi! I'm new here but I felt that my experiences with pregnancy are similar to yours and wanted to offer you a glimmer of hope here. Ha. First off congratulations! Secondly, I'm so sorry because I remember what it was like last year being pregnant in the summer-hot and uncomfortable. Anywho, my husband and I didn't have the issues with the name because he always wanted Katie for a girl and I liked it, so we went with that. But he wasn't overly enthused with the shopping and the decorating and talking for endless hours about the blissful experience of giving birth and seeing our baby...yada yada. I think that most men don't really have any clue what it's like being connected to a child you can't see. We're "plugged in" from day one, and we feel every ache and pain and kick and wiggle. To them...it's just an idea of something they don't know, and a wife/girlfriend who is becoming increastingly huge and crabby. (With good reason mind you, but that is what they see). But rest assured. Not only will your baby eventually be born, thereby releasing you from what I remember calling "pregnancy prison" and you will get to meet your little darling. BUT your hubby will suddenly become more involved, loving, doting, emotional, and all those other things you were hoping for when he sees his bouncing baby boy. My husband and daughter could not be any cuter together, and no man has ever loved his baby more. Just wanted to share my similar experience and remember- he isn't a jerk, he's just a man.

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