Do you believe that the majority of people have children because they are somewh

1. 83

   gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

   Do you believe that the majority of people have children because they are somewhat pressured,
   
   even obligated to do by parents, friends, relatives, religious authorities, and by subliminally by society? 
   
   

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2. 0

   TheBizWhizposted 9 years ago

   I think in some way, one's initial desire is because it is expected. I recently  talked to an old classmate's mother and she seemed embarrassed that he was 40 and just had his first child.
   
   I'll admit that my preconceived notion when I was a child was that a person graduates high school, meets a girl in college, graduates, gets married, and then has children. That is not at all how it worked out for me because when I got to that time in my life, pressure to conform did not have a single effect on me. I was too worried about maintaining relationships, paying bills, and pursing my professional goals. Once I had stabilized all of those (especially the relationship part) everything else happened organically. I now have two young children, a great wife, and a happy life even though I didn't do things in a "typical" timetable.

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Nothing's wrong with waiting until one mid-30s,even early 40s to have a stable, committal relationship and children.  At least, one has his/her education & are stable economically in addition to getting everything out of one's system.

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      TheBizWhizposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I cannot complain. It worked out very well for me. I actually think it made me a better parent.

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   3. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Should be is stable economically, sorry for the error.

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   4. 0

      TheBizWhizposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Ironically, I just came across this article:
      https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/10-wome … 45148.html
      It is not my business on whether some1 has kids or not, but my life is 100X better since I had my boys!

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3. 78

   chuckandus6posted 9 years ago

   I don't believe so,but I wanted to have children when I first met my husband.

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4. 38

   ChristinSposted 9 years ago

   I don't think so.  My sister and I had the same upbringing for example.  From a young age I wanted children - we are ten years apart and when she was born; I loved taking care of her and having a baby around.  I always babysat because I loved kids. 
   
   My sister - not once did she ever enjoy being around children when she was growing up.  She loves my kids of course, but as their aunt. They didn't awaken any maternal instincts in her or anything and she's been proudly "child free" her whole life and has no desire to change that.  She's in her 30's now and still wishes to remain child free.  More power to her I say and kudos to her for knowing what she wants and not allowing societal norms to dictate to her to do otherwise.
   
   I think some of us are born with a stronger maternal instinct or drive than others.  Is there societal pressure? yes - I'm sure there is, but is it the thing that drives "most" of us to have children? I'd have to say no - I believe it is largely biological as well as societal.

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5. 82

   peachpurpleposted 9 years ago

   ah yes, my in law pressured me to have my second child since my first was a girl. Chinese folks wanted grandson to carry on the surname

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6. 73

   Besarienposted 9 years ago

   In some cultures, even in the US, couples are pressured not to use birth control for religious reasons. I have friends who don't for one reason or other have kids. They tell me that they have parents or in-laws who pressure them tor grandchildren. How intense or frequent this pressure is I don't know. I know it bothers them enough to rant about it.

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7. 80

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   I believe many pregnancies are unplanned even in marriage.
   There is also a large segment of society who has always wanted to have children and can't imagine never having them.
   It's as though a "seed" was planted inside of them.
   However it's also possible during their formative years of "gender indoctrination" especially young girls are given baby dolls as toys to nurture, change diapers, feed with bottles, and push in strollers.
   I imagine some of that must reside in their subconscious mind. There are others who see their friends and other family members having children and they feel left out if they don't have some of their own.
   Fertility clinics are big business in the U.S. People are willing to spend several thousands of dollars to have their biological child. Some people eventually give up and purse adopting a (baby). Most people prefer adopting a baby over an older child. They've been known to go to other countries if need be to make that happen.
   Others have been known to fake pregnancies and kidnap babies to raise as their own. Naturally those people are insane!
   I've never wanted children and elected to have a vasectomy long ago. The paternal gene must have by passed me. It's been my observation that (some) people who have children secretly wish they didn't.
   It's far from the  "Norman Rockwell" painting image they imagined. They seem {stressed out} and complaining about the various expenses associated with raising children, sitters, health insurance, auto insurance for teen drivers, bullies at school, and activities.
   Many couples site their sex lives declined after having children.
   Not long ago it was reported it takes approximately $300k to raise an infant to adulthood. The vast majority of seniors in nursing homes have children!
   That's not a good return on your investment! LOL!
   Seriously though people who want children should have them and those who don't should not allow other people to persuade them to have them.
   Life is a (personal) journey!

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8. 79

   Say Yes To Lifeposted 9 years ago

   According to the environment I live in, most of the time, parenthood "just happens".  Few people really give it any thought. Because I grew up around a lot of child abuse, I've never wanted kids; I personally don't believe in bringing lives into this cruel world.  People look at me funny because I've never had kids; they're like, "How did you do that?"  It's as if they don't realize they have a choice in the matter.

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   1. 80

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      "People look at me funny because I've never had kids; they're like, "How did you do that?" - Too funny!
      Those people bought into the parenthood "just happens" theory. A woman once told me I was "lucky" not to have children. A vasectomy is luck?

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   2. 79

      Say Yes To Lifeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      LOL!!!

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