Do you believe that the majority of parents are somewhat dismissive and somewhat abusive
in the treatment of their children?
While there are enlightened parents who treat their children as unique individuals with the utmost consideration and respect, many parents consider their children to be lesser because they are children. They feel that as parents they have the unmitigated right to treat their children as they please.
I hope the bulk of parents are not abusive. But I do believe way too many parents are dismissive. We made it a point to always listen to our kids regardless of what they needed to say. I wanted them to feel like they were heard. It enrages me when I see parents ignoring their children when the kids are trying to talk to them or get their attention. Kids must be acknowledged so that they feel they are important and not an inconvenience.
I also think way too many parents use their children like household help. I think everyone in the family should pitch in on some tasks but I do not feel it is fair to make kids do the work that parents don't want to do like washing the dishes or housecleaning.
I think a lot of parents do not do any disciplining until they get angry. Instead of doing it when the child has done wrong, they will only discipline them when they finally lose their cool and become angry. In which is the worst time to do so. I have seen this from so many family members and friends, I literally have to leave the room. The child has been on my nerves for an hour, and then all of a sudden the parent starts to yell at them, then jerks them up and busts their butt. What is this telling these children? I don't know, but it is not healthy.
I agree. A lot of parents wait until they are ready to explode before dealing with a child. Very few kids grow up like kids in The Cosby show where parents sat down calmly and logically explained things before issuing a (non violent) punishment.
I grew up in a single mother household. My mother had a short temper and if she felt you were out of line you got your ass whipped. There were no tantrums, rolling your eyes, stomping on the stairs as you climbed them, slamming your bedroom door in anger, cursing in front of adults or even calling them by their first names. If she had to ask you (twice) to do something you were in trouble. Her house, her rules!
We were (expected) to wash dishes, clean our own bedrooms, take out the trash, mow the lawn and oftentimes cooked our own meals. I was the eldest and thereby was expected to be born "knowing better" than my two younger brothers My mother was a registered nurse who worked various shifts at the hospital.
There are those who would say I had an awful childhood and some days I would agree. However when I look at a lot of the family issues today when teens are running the household and parents are afraid of them I can see where to many people have tried to befriend their children in place of parenting them.
During the 80s I was doing research on an organization called Toughlove which is essentially a support group for parents who have lost control of their households. Some of the couples attending one meeting were having issues with kids as young as 6 years old. I can only imagine the issues they'd face when their daughter reached 16. I personally chose not to have children but if I had I believe I would have been more like mother with some exceptions. Overall I believe kids should have a strict upbringing that becomes less restrictive overtime as they display maturity. The role of a parent it is to prepare their child to be an independent self-reliant contributing member of society. I guess my mother succeeded.
Parents always love their children, but with work stress catching up with them they vent their anger on their hapless kids. What they do not realize is the harm they are doing to their children when they use abusive words and degrade them. Yes, modern parents tend to be more prone to anger than the yester generation.
Most parents especially the less educated parents lack parenting skills and treat their children as they wish they don't care to hear their child's opinions and expect their child to go by their rules no matter what the situation is and this makes parents dismissive or abusive.
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