Do you discipline like your parents did?

1. 63

   rutleyposted 11 years ago

   Do you discipline like your parents did?

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2. 81

   petenaliposted 11 years ago

   You mean do I stand back and hope for the best?  No, my wife and I do not. 
   We try to be consistent in our discipline and make the discipline fit the crime.  We never disciplined when angry but instead enforced whatever the "punishment" was calmly and told our sons exactly what was going to happen and why.
   My father would yell in anger at the time of the offence and over react.  I vowed never to do that and have done well in that department.  My wife has been a big help with that.
   Nowadays, with my kids being teenagers it is not practical to bend them over my knee and spank them, but we are still very creative when it comes to suitable discipline. 
   Another thing that we have found to be crucial is to be united as parenting team.  Divide and conquer is the motto of every child.  Break up the parental unity and you have power.  Not in my house!

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   1. 63

      rutleyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You certainly have that right! Respect between a husband and wife is also a powerful tool!  Married 33 years! Thanks and luck with teenagers...Been there....going back again now.....they test your limits and push every button!

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3. 60

   Username Amandaposted 11 years ago

   I said I never would  but I find that I do sometimes. I think as a child it is easy  to only see things from one side but as a parent you see things from both. I try not to yell as much and be there as a friend more, however there are times when I fall back on the old "because I said so, and that's final".

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   1. 63

      rutleyposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You and me both sister!

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4. 79

   teaches12345posted 11 years ago

   No, I didn't follow the over use of spanking.  I tried to redirect and used discussions on making better choices.  Spanking, with a small wooden spoon and used one swat per age, was limited to extreme, extreme discipline.

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5. 62

   win-winresourcesposted 11 years ago

   Hi Rutley-
   
   My mother had the quickest backhand in the west.
   
   So, no.  I believe that spanking, hitting, slapping, pinching, twisting, shaking or otherwise is just violence and something we never did to our children.
   
   DW

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6. 60

   mommahottnessposted 11 years ago

   I had to laugh then get outta memory lane as soon as I could. Nope! Not at all. My mother was stern and very judgmental, she was never humorous and rarely took a joke. I was raised to respect/fear her at all times.
   
   As a mother now she is always criticizing me. She says I let the kids walk all over me and that they should get away with so much.
   Personally I am proud of the mother that I am and extremely proud of how my children are turning out! Ages 1, 5, 8, 12 and they just delight me to no end. So I must be doing something right!!!

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   1. 60

      fpherj48posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      momma.....what I think I hear in your comment, is....your Mom disciplined the way she learned....and the only way she allowed herself to follow....YOU, on the other hand, were the one to STOP the cycle of less than acceptable methods of raising child

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      mommahottnessposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Fpherj48 thank you for that . I realize her parents brought up 4 kids with an iron fist if one got spanked they all did! That seems a little overboard to me. You make me smile. Thank you

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7. 60

   fpherj48posted 11 years ago

   Not exactly.  I used to give my kids an hour out of their cages..............(kidding, I'm only kidding, Mom and Dad......honest!)

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8. 61

   shara63posted 11 years ago

   not eaxctly the same but try to maintain much of that....difference in outlooks as a child and as a parent , the influence of time & advancement all together has made the difference !

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9. 53

   birdreynoldsposted 11 years ago

   No way! I never understood the message that hitting a child was intended to send except that problems can be solved immediately with a violent, impulsive response.
   Accompanied by derogatory remarks, hitting was an extra damaging blow to a child's ego.
   I never hit my kid. I explain why I ask him to do things, what the purpose is and we talk about possible outcomes. I thank him for listening. He feels valued and he has a very strong skill set for decision making. This is just one process that I use to help my son navigate his childhood. He has many friends and is an honor roll student. I have never demanded good grades, all I ask that he does his best. I never forget he is still a developing child.

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