... When you started doing all that "grown up stuff"?
Like, I was 14 when I lost my virginity.
I was 15 when I started smoking and drinking
I was 16 when I got my drivers license..
All that stuff.
18 Just got married, my wife was killed by a drunk driver. I instantly became a grownup.
that's not "grown up stuff"...that's just awful.
Wow. Sorry to hear that, friend. Seems, though, that you have a lively household now. Hope life is good now.
9 yrs wrote my first piece of music
14 yrs got driver's license (in Idaho you can get it that young. Glad I don't live there any more!)
21 yrs published first piece of music
19 went to England
24 got married
28 daughter born
30 son born
50 started completely over for the 2nd time
54 in a good place in my life
what a horrible step into adulthood. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that so young tobey.
Very sorry Tobey..
I do not even know what to say ..I just hope things have gotten better and you have been able to continue or start healing slowly..I had a man I was close to shot 5 ft away from me while his band was doing a performance. I do not share it often. I have shared the story with Misty Wild and Stevennixx, but it is something I really do not mention much, luckily I have healed, but I still carry the scars..
You have my full condolences, my friend.
tobey.. tragic circumstance not only breaks the heart and the soul but, does indeed, make people grow up xxxxx Poor baby!!!
Does change a persons entire outlook on life. Looking back I believe her death was one of the main reasons I always chose dangerous hobbies like motorcycle and boat racing. I had sort of a 'kiss my ass' outlook on life. (pardon the expression). I think it made me very protective where my sons were concerned. I've had to always fight being over protective. The life we've lived makes us who we become I guess.
I was 18 when all of "that stuff" started.
I was more of a "grown up" whe I was 8, my fatehr became disabled, we went bankrupt and moved out of our home in the country to a disgusting apartment in the city, my mother had surgery on her shoulder and she was in a drug induced near coma state for months, and my youngest sister was 6 months old. I did everything, cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of my baby sister...etc...
I was 21 when I had it all, married, fcuk-- hehe, lost virginity--never tried smoking and drinking, crack etc..
divorced once, had children
my life is boring except of course I traveled a lot before
happily single and I can say i had it all---but everyday is a new day
around 13, but I did not come from anything but a very untraditional family. My grandmother adopted all her grandchildren, Grandpa passed, and she did the best she did.
I would not be the person I am today if it were not for the situations we endured as a makeshift family when I was a child.
Thank you Grandma, I will always hold you close and dear to my heart, but I think you know that . ( B.1927 - D.2000 )
i started working when i was 14 because my dad died. my older sisters watched me like a hawk so i remained a virgin until i was almost 20 (first kiss and everything). i hated that. any man that tried to talk to me they ran off. i didn't even drive a car until i was 20. i tried a cigarette once when i was 21 and instantly hated it. i had my first drink at 21 also, but didn't take to that either, although i do drink at parties and enjoy relaxing with a nice glass of sparkling wine now and then. oh, and i tried pot once or twice and couldn't get past the taste. blechh..
I'm still trying to figure out what all that "grown up stuff" is..
8 when I began caring for the numerous pets and burring all the dead ones.
9 when I began driving.
12 when I began babysitting and working with my dad, doing drywall.
13 when I began checking the cattle regularly, and helping with calving.
14 when I began tutoring classmates in algebra, first date.
16, drivers licence, traveling w/o parents, nannying, first boyfriend.
21 first child, first alcohol...
Here I go...
15 when I lost my virginity.
14 when I started smoking.
17 when I got my first job.
18 when I got my drivers license.
22 when I got married the first time
25 when I divorced the idiot
28 when I remarried
30 when I had my first child
33 when I had my second child
14 when i started kissing boys, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes and cannabis and basically being a bad girl.
16 moved to arizona and became a "jesus freak" (i really called myself that LOL)
17 i reverted back to my bad girl aspirations and lost my virginity. and had my first job. baskin robbins, yum!
18 first year i couch surfed. almost joined the navy (sworn in and the whole deal) got my first drivers license! and my first tattoo!
19 i fell in love the very first time. he introduced me to drug addiction.
20 i quit drugs. went out of the country. and got pregnant. (not by that same guy, actually by the one who helped me quit)
21 had a baby. grew up, officially and dramatically.
24 had another baby. and grew up in new ways.
25 i feel a little less awkward referring to myself as a woman and until this year i never felt grown up or adult like.
wow. thats sort of my life story in a nutshell.
10 when I started my own business
15 supporting myself
16 got a driver's license
17 lost my virginity (same year as my first kiss...go figure)
19 first kid
21 drunk the first time
22 first marriage (we'd been together five years)
23 first divorce (took him six weeks after marriage to head for greener pastures, almost a year to get the divorce)
23 second marriage
and that brings us up to the present...and now I'm feeling very young in here...that just all looks really bad without the back story .
11: Started Smoking
14: Lost Virginity
14: Started Drinking & Doing Drugs
17: Moved Out On My Own
19: Quit Drinking & Doing Drugs
13 Kiss boys
14 Tasted vodka
15 Drivers permit
16 Hippy style
17 Graduated High School
19 Worked long and hard
20 Jilted - Divorced
21 Married again
22 1st baby - really had to grow up
22 Moved to another country - eyes opened
23 2nd baby
27 3rd baby
29 4th baby
Still didn't really grow up until I was 40 : )
Well thank you. Very confusing. that's not how life's supposed to be.
Unfortunately, life rarely is how it's supposed to be...I've never lost anyone as close to me as a spouse, but still someone close...my nephew died almost two years ago now, his father is like a twin to me, and it's still a daily struggle for all of us, especially him. He got sent to Iraq, and three weeks before he was to come home his 3 1/2-year-old son died in the care of his ex-wife's boyfriend under "officially undetermined" circumstances. I have ties to the medical community and know what happened, and anyone who hears the basic details can infer correctly.
For a long time I had the feeling, strange as it may sound, that I wanted to get off the train I was on and walk a while. Doesn't make much sense but I can't say it any other way.
maybe freedom and the feel of it, and the challenge it brings like walking to a new way, new direction maybe?
No, it does make sense...it is often the feeling that leads people into drugs or alcohol to take a break, or to suicide because there is no way to go away and then come back.
Too true. Can't say either didn't cross my mind. Teenagers aren't equipped to handle loss on that level. But just look at me now. I only have shock therapy twice a month now!
Personally, I don't think ANYONE is equipped to handle loss on that level...maybe teenagers are a little less equipped, because it definitely blows the mind a lot more than, say, an 80-year-old spouse, because the latter has already exceeded the average human life span. That said, no matter how much we know something is going to happen or know that it has happened, our minds still refuse to accept it. I know that, barring accident or injury, my husband will die long before I do...and I cringe to think what might happen to him if I were to go first, because that's something neither of us is expecting.
I was 12 years old when my fourteen year old cousins taught me how to be a real man.......I just never looked back.....
Tobey, you did have to grow up fast!
I don't remember all the dates.
18. Mom died
19. Dad died
29. 1st baby
33. 2nd baby
I was 8 years old when I got my first job with mentally ill people in our family business...
I was 10 when I started raising my brother as my own since my parents were kinda out of it at the time...
I was 14 when I got hit by a car and realized I was not immortal; shortly thereafter, I had my first (and only) nervous breakdown. 14 when I was taken from my parents and separated from my brother...that might have really been the BIG growing up year.
I was 15 when I had my first therapist's appointment.
I was 18 when I became the first in my family to go to college.
I was 21 when I lost my virginity. 21 when I lost my fiance to a motorcycle crash. Oh yeah...got my learner's permit this year as well.
I was 22 when I became the first in my family to graduate from college (with honors). 22 when my aunt (who saved me from my parents), died. 22 when I became homeless and when my mother and I became a part of each other's lives again. Got my driver's license this year (I lived, prior to this time, in a place where mass transit was better than having a car).
I was 23 when I got married the first (and only...ever) time; I was still 23 when he decided to walk out about because I wouldn't allow him to use drugs in our home.
I was 26 when I decided that I was slowly killing myself and had to lose weight; I have lost (and kept off) over 200 pounds, with only minor fluctuations.
I was 27 when I became the first in my family to go to grad school (by the grace of God and the support of the gov't). Started living the freelance writer dream that year. Later that year, Mom died.
I was 28 when I stopped smoking (almost three months ago).
I am 29 now...Am I grown up?
Nahhh! It's a process! Despite all the ups and downs, I'd like to think that I'm still young at heart, in awe of the world, and generally positive about the goodness of life and humanity.
Nice thread. It's interesting to see the time lines of other hubbers.
To give a timeline? Can be difficult, but I'll give it a try.
At age 5-7 abusive(unauthorized touching/fondling)
At age 7-11 abusive(authorized over used physical)
At age 9 started drinking and smoking cigarettes, first kiss
At age 13 quit smoking entered high school, lost virginity, made first communion based on catholic religion
At age 17 graduated high school, got license and started smoking again. In same year, had multiple accidents, left with multiple scars(one V shape on forehead and duel scars on right wrist) - father died(while in high school) **just wrote a hub about it. Also made confirmation, based on Catholic religion.
At age 18, denied entrance to military due to right wrist. First engagement, got first job, first car.
At age 22, began studying core of religion. Worked odd jobs.
At age 24, began a second engagement, which fell apart.
At age 30, began self-realization life's misconceptions.
At age 35, completed studies of religion scripture and self-realized, there is no "GOD" looking out for society. Thus, creating life-altering changes to my life.
At age 39, began developing self-employed business to help others.
At age 41, presently gripped in reality of life and spreading knowledge I've learned and experienced.
That's as much was I can remember.
Still a virgin
Childhood- shit happens....
20 tried a cigarette or 3...couldn't smoke, I just couldn't get the smoke down...not my thing.
19-22 been drunk about 7 times
Don't really drink so two drinks usually does it.
Still not a drinker/smoker
Still a virgin.
22 Graduated with Law degree- makes me feel grown up but still awkward thinking of myself as a woman.
22-now 23- writing a novel I intend to publish and started a blog... feels grow up because I'm doing what I really want to do and am happy with it.
22- found myself again and actually loves her/me.
I'm fairly boring to other 20 year olds who shag around and binge drink and club hop...but I AM far from boring
Interesting, intriguing, unique, fantastic, awesome and fascinating are all different words you could have chosen.
well....it was direct and honest...and because I find you intriguing...! (see, I did use one of the words u suggested!
I agree. Will you be sharing your "time line" with us? Inquiring minds want to know, you know.
I tie the facts of my 'real' life in a neat little knot when I come here....and I like them to stay like that. It's others who fascinate me more....!
I can understand that. I had similar intentions when I first came here. But it's difficult to maintain. Glad you're enjoying the reading though.
I left home at 16, had to survive and earn money with 3 jobs, a bedsit with a hole in the floor, looking down to the bedsit below.
I grew up
I left a violent relationship within a drug community...
I grew up even more
I had a baby who at 18 months became insulin dependent diabetic (brinking death every other day) another son who was undiagnosed aspergers
Did I grow up? I broke down... then I grew up!
at 38 the kids were older... Like a sprung jack in the box, I became who I was at 16, 18. 24... I didnt grow up.. I regressed!
Im not sure if I am grown up now, but I am self assured x
yep...let's hope we have more 'confessions' on the way....!
By Mow !! See you later !!
((closing the door and staying behind it))
*controlling her laughter
(((( not yet .....just watch and wait ))))
Wow, I feel guilty that I had such a non-dramatic childhood. Some of you have been through so much!
drivers license and first job @ 16
graduated high school and started college @ 17
first boyfriend @ 18
never been drunk
never done any drugs
graduated college, lived alone, and had first professional job @ 22
moved in with (5th) boyfriend @ 23
married & had first & only child @ 24
I'm 33 now.
15-lost virginity to my boyfriend of over a year who would end up being the only boyfriend I ever had and become my husband of 23 yrs
23-had my first alcoholic beverage
27-had my son
29-had my daughter
40-filed for divorce after 23 yrs, 3 wks later our son died as a result of go-cart accident (life-changing year to say the least)
43-traveled alone to England to meet a man I had been talking to online
44-married the Englishman I met online and he moved to the states
16...started smoking (still am, unfortunately)
22...got pregnant and miscarried
23...started smoking MJ (done w/ that crap)
7.... First Spelling Bee
8.... Took Second at Spelling Bee heck and I forget how to spell now, lololo
9.... When I wrote my first short story
10.... When I wrote my first (real poem) that made sense I still have both of those which mom saved.
15... when I was able to stay out until 10:00pm
16.... Driver's License
17....First date was at 17
18.... When I had graduated from high school
21.... When I graduated from The University I already had two years of college when I was in High School.
21.... Lost Virginity
and the rest is history.
I'll put down my whole journey.
5.. Stopped picking my nose.
7.. Had my first crush (on my math teacher, mrs. vernasques)
10.. Learned about schizophrenia
14.. lost my virginity
15.. smoking, drinking
16.. drivers license, first car.
16.. got my first real job (starbucks)
17.. finished high school, started college
21.. finished college, started med school, moved to new york
25.. got my m.d., picked my specialty
26.. got accepted by a hospital, started my psychiatry career
27.. Here I am today!
Nothing interesting happened to me, lol.
This is an interesting thread. Other than the normal, grown-up stuff, it's neat to see what other events people felt affected their maturity.
8-14: Tortured as being the chubby girl and had 0 confidence; became a young recluse...
15: Discovered I actually was smart and was socially accepted by many.
17: Mother died.
18: First real and serious boyfriend who lived in Europe. Started college.
19: Visited Europe (twice), first time out of the country. Lost virginity.
20: Europe for a third time...mentally drained by relationship and cutting self.
21: After 2.5, dumped problematic bf, and in doing so, gained a bit of confidence. Also, discovered a belief-system appropriate fully for me: atheism.
22: Finished college with my BA in English, and had an internship with two newspapers.
23: Currently lost in life, but considerably content regardless. Just gotta get my foot in the door.
I know what it's like being a teen with no self esteem..
Yeah, me too.
The first 20 years of my life I lived in a torture chamber. Took 47 years to make peace with it and forgive the abuse. But if you can unchain your hatred by forgiving, a whole new world starts to happen. I held my abuser's hand as they took their last breath, and we learned to love each other. It was actually rather miraculous. I didn't think I could ever do that.
No one really escapes the crap in this life and nobody gets out alive. It may be different for all of us, but it's still usually just as devastating in whatever way it comes.
My life is good now. There are lots of setbacks and problems, but I think I know how to keep moving forward and for the most part, no longer be a victim. I'm finally good with being me and I like me. It's taken a long time.
I was the chubby one in school too...until Sophomore year...I lost 80 pounds over the summer and all of a sudden people realized, "Hey, she's 5'6", 128 pounds and kept the DD's!" (yeah, the kid grew them a couple more sizes since then). It really served me well that I got to see how those people acted before that, made it easier to see who to just cut out of my life. My "pack o' misfits" are still my friends today, and all of the people that showed up drooling out of the woodwork when I lost weight got booted as quickly as they turned up.
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