Over the hill and going to be a father ... What were they thinking?

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   Precious Pearlposted 12 years ago

   Ok, I am trying to get some understanding here.  Why would a man that is 49 years old impregnate a woman that he barely knows?  He has no job, no money, owes 6 months back child support to his ex-wife for their 13 year old daughter and is at risk of going to jail. Why would a woman that has 3 children from previous relationships allow it to happen?  Do they not know how to protect themselves?  Are they just irresponsible?  Are they stupid?  Can anybody help me understand this situation because I am astounded.  Really!  I mean really ... What were they thinking?  Aside from the obvious ...

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      Julip Manorposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Unfortunately, this happens often.  My husband is a divorce attorney and has clients that "hook" up after their divorces.  This one in particular already had 4 children and began living with one with 5 children and they had one together!  As a side note, they had one together. ....now they are divorced.  He has to pay child support for 6 now.  I think that they think that a child will help provide substance to the relationship and bind them together......forever and it does....but it is sad

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   Precious Pearlposted 12 years ago

   WOW ... it is sad because the children are the ones that suffer.  Thank you for sharing ... I was trying to wrap my brain around it all.

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   dixie28714posted 12 years ago

   yes, irresponsible!! I guarantee when they were having sex the thought of a child was the last thing on their mind.  Sad but true how some people are so selfish they do not even consider the children involved or the situation that could been avoided.

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      Precious Pearlposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I would agree with you ... it is selfish and extremely irresponsible.  Decisions made not only affect you but the lives other people.

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   psycheskinnerposted 12 years ago

   What makes you thinking he was specifically trying to impregnate her, rather than just not wanting to take any of the responsibility for birth control--which is hardly unusual in my experience.

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      Precious Pearlposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I doubt it was purposeful just irresponsible on both their parts.

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   Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

   The "barely knows" thing:  Stupid.
   
   The maybe believing her if she said she's on The Pill:  Stupid.
   
   The "taking-a-chance-on-disease" thing:  Stupid.
   
   The "back-child-support" thing:  In fairness, there could be some legitimate problem he can't pay it - but, as you say, even taking a chance on a pregnancy is - again - stupid, under the circumstances.
   
   
   I might need to disagree, however, with that "Over-the-Hill" thing.    A guy (or woman) 49 isn't over the hill.  He'd only be in his mid-sixties when the child is in his mid teens.  In seriousness, though....
   
   Besides, in fairness to the person (and without knowing him, of course), maybe he very much loves his daughter (even if he can't come up with the child support), has gone through the grief and sense of loss from being separated from her; and is thinking (the way someone I know who lost a child did) that "the only thing to make life at all bearable would be to have something joyful and of similar "bigness" to the sadness happen.   
   
   (Just doing a kind of "devil's advocate" thing here...   Not saying I'm right about any of it.  )

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      Precious Pearlposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Ok ... I will give you the over the hill thing ... I don't think that over the hill is 49.  I realize that a lot of people have children late in life ... I was venting.  Definitely irresponsible of him though.  As far as the child support ... hard to pay when you don't have a job.  Anyway ... when I started the forum it was fresh off of the press and I was extremely irritated. I still think it is ridiculous.  Again, the children will be the ones that suffer the consequences of their poor choices.  That is what makes me sad.

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   jbenglandposted 12 years ago

   This guy is awesome!  Maybe he's my dad!

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      Precious Pearlposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      LOL ...

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