What would be best tips to a sensitive man going for second marriage ?

1. 63

   Sundeep Katariaposted 9 years ago

   The first marriage of this person failed because he was too nice and caring but sensitive too.
   What would be best tips to this person going in for second marriage so that this is successful this time?

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   1. 80

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      His first marriage did not fail because he was "too nice and caring".
      It failed because he (chose) the "wrong mate" for himself!
      
      You have to figure out who you are, what you want, and what you need in a mate (before) you pursue a relationship with someone. To do otherwise would be the equivalent of going shopping without a shopping list!
      
      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
      We are responsible for our own happiness!
      Thankfully we can learn to make better choices for ourselves.
      If you go to the store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead. Whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? No! You learn to become a "better shopper"!
      
      If you have to change your core being in order to make a relationship work it means you are with the wrong person! The same goes for them as well.
      
      Very few people are looking for someone to "change" them.
      The vast majority of people want to be loved and appreciated for who they are! The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the marriage that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a (mutual) love and desire for one another.
      
      The best tip for this sensitive man is for him to make sure (he chooses) a spouse who understands and loves him for he (is).
      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary." - Oscar Wilde

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      1. 63

         Sundeep Katariaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks  dashingscorpio. I couldn't agree with you more.
         But allow me to comment on the example you gave about apple and  onion. Here we are dealing with another human being, who is a "life partner" too.

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         1. 80

            dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Yes, but one still should know what traits they're looking for in a life partner! There is a reason why you say "yes" to one person and "no" to another.
            Unfortunately sometimes people wear "rose colored glasses" and they ignore the "red flags" or warnings that someone does not share their same values. Later they try and get that person to become what they really want.
            
            Becoming a "better shopper" means having a state of (awareness) of who you are dealing with and being able to compare that to the kind of person you want to be with. Forget about hoping or believing they will change. You are better off trying to find someone who (already is) the kind of person you want to be with. It's either that or adjusting your desired traits for a mate.
            
            There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.

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            1. 63

               Sundeep Katariaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               Quite right.

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