Why women have second thoughts before marrying the man they love?

1. 59

   Sweetpea Flurposted 10 years ago

   Why women have second thoughts before marrying the man they love?
   
   I mean if love is real between a couple then why hesitate making decisions like marriage. I do know that marriage is way beyond complicated than you ever think.

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2. 73

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   Marriage is suppose to be a lifetime commitment. It's natural to want to (make sure) if whom you are with is someone you can imagine spending the rest of your life with.
   In my opinion the #1 cause for divorce is marrying the wrong person for oneself. The #2 cause is getting married for the wrong reasons.
   The first happens when a person hasn't figured out (who they are), what they want, and need in a mate for life. That's the equivalent of going shopping without a list! Such people are prone to allowing "happenstance" and "impulsive connections" to dictate their relationship choices.
   The second occurs when a person has an "age goal", all of their friends are married, they're simply tired of being single, an ultimatum was given, an unplanned pregnancy, parental pressure, perspective mate has money, or someone in the military is about to depart and wants to have a person waiting. A marriage based around circumstances is likely to fail.
   Marriage is just (one aspect) of a person's life. They have to consider all of their goals and whether or not the person they love supports them. In the end we're either growing together or growing apart.
   The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the marriage that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
   Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart.
   One wants to enter into marriage with complete awareness and having realistic expectations! Not hoping for a "fairytale ending".
   Second thoughts are red flag warnings not to be ignored.

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   1. 59

      Sweetpea Flurposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you dashingscorpio for this interesting answer. Honestly this is the best advice I ever had about marriage. What amazed me is that it came from a man's perspective.

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3. 46

   DDEposted 10 years ago

   Sometimes women get cold feet when they have insecure thoughts about their decision to marry. Marriage takes hard work and to keep two people together in love  until death do us part is not always part  of a marriage. People grow older and change and want different things the fear of  having a family and taking responsibilities is not easy.Being with the same partner for the rest of your life is another challenge.

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   1. 59

      Sweetpea Flurposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes DDE I totally agree with you. If only love is enough reason to drive us into marriage but the reality is its not. A lot of things should be considered.

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4. 84

   peachpurpleposted 10 years ago

   nope, never thought of that bcoz he is my baby's dad. Unless, you have chicken feet, freak out when you knew his hidden secrets

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   1. 59

      Sweetpea Flurposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      That's a good point though. In marriage some things can get ugly and accepting it is a challenge. Happy to know you didn't have second thoughts, I admire your bravery. hehe

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