Should Abusive Parents Be Allowed in the Home After Being Removed?

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   mdawson17posted 14 years ago

   I have witnessed and heard stories of State protective agencies allowing parents to come back in the home where a child resides after receiving therapy!
   
   Is this a good idea?
   
   Can a parent get enough therapy to stop any further explosive behaviors towards an innocent child?
   
   I have heard story after story of children being killed by their abusive parent after the state had removed the parent away from the child then allowed the parent and child to reside again.
   
   Do you think the Local governments are doing the very thing they to be protecting our children from Abuse, neglect, and exploitation?

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      Mina Lincolnposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I do not believe that abused children should be re-exposed to their abusers.  Depending upon the types of abuses that these children have suffered at the hands and psychological mindsets of those who have abused them, I believe that the main goal should be the pyhsical, emotional and psychological well-being and healing of the abused child.  Recovery of the child's overall soul. 
      And not the after the abuse has happened needs or desires of the person(s) who abused these children in the first place. 
      As a survivor of such atrocities committed upon me and my sisters by both parents throughout my entire childhood, I can tell you that the healing process is not wholly achieved in a short period of time.  You may attempt to forgive, even understand the [why] the abuses were committed upon you. You may even grow into becoming a rather successful individual later in life. 
      But you never forget.  And unless there is a wholly conscious and honest replacement of goodness, psycholigical rehabilitation inside the once twisted fabric of the person(s) who did the abusing of what are quite helpless children in the first place, what you will then be doing is placing the now broken child BACK INTO the reach and opportunity of the very hands, motives, and inevitable outcomes of the very person(s) who did the initial abuse. Thereby chancing the already damaged child to the real RISK of being abused AGAIN...If not Killed.  We live in a society that speaks long and loud about the "best interests of the child"...  The definition of that statement must in fact be fully enforced...without wavering and contradiction.

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   Dame Scribeposted 14 years ago

   I think the social workers should be promoting a *earn* the privilige system. Start with monitored at the office, present then outside the room and repeat the process, again at home for a minimum of a year abuse of children should not be tolerated at all. Should be extreme tough laws on that.

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      mdawson17posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I Love The idea of earn the privilege system sadly though many states would constitute that as extra work and more money spent!
      Isn't sad our government would compromise the dollar over our children's safety

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   Pamda Manposted 14 years ago

   Yes. They go to jail for abusing kids over here.

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      Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Pandaland jails would be very scary

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   LITTLEBIT345posted 14 years ago

   Regardless if they receive jail time or therapy a parent should not be allow back in the home. Enough emotional problems have been placed on the child and it not healthy for the same child to have to live with this person who abused them even if they have gotten help. My theory is once and abusers always you never fully recover if you did it once you could potentially strike again.

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      Pamda Manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Then why don't you kill all prisoners. Hey, you cut costs on building prisons and defence systems. The prisoners won't change anyway, if that's what you are saying.
      

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   SweetiePieposted 14 years ago

   Unless we have all the details of a situation it is really hard to say.  Each case is different.

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   lrohnerposted 14 years ago

   I do believe that everyone should work towards the ultimate goal of rehabilitating the abuser and reuniting him/her with their family. Where I think the system is broken is in the lack of ongoing care and attention provided by many states' Child Protective Services. These are the folks who are supposed to be monitoring these people once they are reunited and taking action if they start abusing again. Most times, they fall far short.

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      Ms Chievousposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      It is a great goal but I really don't beleive it is realistic.  Maybe I am tainted by my years of experience.... just no matter how hard you try or how many services you set up that person may just not want help...

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         mdawson17posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         There are a few out their that refuse the help however it is like Ms Chievous had stated their has to be a rehabilitation process first then followed up with strict monitoring and tougher guidelines once reunited!
         For those that have shown the characteristics of not truly having the desire in getting help then the law should be enforced for filling of criminal charges!

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         lrohnerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         You are right. But I think the keyword in your statement is "may". There are some that don't want help, and many more that do. I think particularly in these stressful times, there are people that are basically good people at heart that just lose it one time. They shouldn't lose their families forever.

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            Ms Chievousposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Yes this is  true some people do want help and some people do try.. those are the people that motivate me to go to work every day. It is idealistic for families to stay together and almost every judge wants that. But then agian I have seen a lot of instances where a child went back to the home and they really shouldn't have.  In these cases it is sooo hard to not inflict our own values on others.. this is where things get complicated.  We get wrapped up in the lives of these kids and it evokes our feelings. PGrundy was righ too about the foster care homes.  SOME.. not all are just places for kids to be piled up.. it is really not a good system.

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   Ms Chievousposted 14 years ago

   In my experience parents are givne an improvement period for neglect cases.  Very rarely do the children get to go back in the home if they have been abused.
   
   I have seen cases where CPS has NOT been involved and the father killed his children.  There is no way to determine waht person is going to do....

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   iamqweenbeeposted 14 years ago

   I think I mentioned this on another site that everyone deserves a second chance. Children should know/see their parents no matter how bad they are and parents should know/see their children.

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   pgrundyposted 14 years ago

   People think CPS saves kids, but for every kid saved there's a kid they remove from a home and put into an even worse situation and another kid they ignore. Most often around here CPS does nothing.
   
   I vividly remember growing up with lots of kids who lived in terror of being removed from their homes and placed in foster care, which half the time meant you'd end up living with a pile of kids you didn't know with foster parents who might well be as bad as or worse than your own.
   
   Parents and kids should be kept together when possible and brought back together when possible, but right now there are just not enough resources for all the kids and parents who need help.

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      mdawson17posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      pgrundy what you have said makes allot of sense but what can be done to bring in more resources!

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         pgrundyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I think in people have to reach out voluntarily and be supportive instead of judgmental. That would help a lot. Kids protect their abusive parents because they know if they ask anyone for help, they may lose their parents and they also know people will judge their parents very harshly instead of helping the family work it all out. This sets up a cycle of abuse that repeats itself over and over within families.
         
         People should understand that overreacting to abuse doesn't help kids, it hurts them. If we had more of an attitude of acceptance and caring instead making everything into a criminal case or a blame game that would be a really good start.

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