What makes oldest children the most cast aside, underappreciated, overused, and

1. 82

   gmwilliamsposted 10 years ago

   What makes oldest children the most cast aside, underappreciated, overused, and the most
   
   taken for granted children in the family?
   
   Oldest children in families tend to be dethroned rather quickly.  They are oftentimes waysided in favor of younger siblings.  Parents even admitted to this.  Oldest children are just yesterday's news so to speak.  They have to be on THEIR OWN faster than other birth orders at similar ages. They also must be THE ADULTS in the family.  In other words, they are not seen as children but are expected to toughen up, grin, and bear it!
   
   

   replyreport
2. 60

   Dr. Haddoxposted 10 years ago

   Since the oldest child is the oldest, parents expect more out of them. Parents maybe are thinking that an older child should be more mature, responsible and more able to perform as caretakers for other children, and more.
   Regards,
   Dr. Haddox

   replyreport
   1. 82

      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Very correct and spot on analysis, Doctor, thank you so much for responding.

      replyreport
3. 78

   Dr Pran Ranganposted 10 years ago

   True that oldest child in a family is cast aside and overused. The main reason is that parents become more occupied with bringing up the next child and the older one is neglected. They want the older one to help them in bring up the younger one. This a typical situation which most of the families have to face. But the smart parents include the older child in care of the younger in such a way that he or she develops love and compassion for the younger sibling and at the same time, he doesn't feel neglected. Smart parents never neglect the older child but take his or her co-operation for care of the younger one. This will make the older child more independent, caring and affectionate. It all depend how the parents handle thier children.

   replyreport
   1. 82

      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Again, excellent commentary on the issue at hand.

      replyreport
4. 78

   cebutouristspotposted 10 years ago

   I don't agree. I have 2 kids age 5 and 1.  The oldest one still get the attention.  It is our belief that the older one should not be set aside and should get as much attention as possible so that he wont envy/hate his brother.
   
   By showing him how much we loved and cared for him.  He in turn do the same to his brother.  This is without force or obligation but what he have done on his own free will

   replyreport
5. 80

   RichBestposted 10 years ago

   It seems that there's some kind of common belief among our society that the oldest child should be the one who's most understanding, to start with. In addition to that, oldest child is often expected to not trouble their parents. In other words, the oldest child should think of working out his/her problem on his/her own. Even worse, the oldest child is often expected to take care of his/her younger siblings, if any, because the parents will not live long enough to take care of the younger ones, they often say.
   
   Simply put, it seems that our society believes that the oldest child is expected to give and not take. Unfortunately, this often causes depression for the oldest child, which is why some of the oldest children in the families out there happen to be trapped in the wrong way and can't seemingly go back on track, well, except for the very wise ones, I think.

   replyreport
   1. 82

      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      This is SO true. Oldest children do catch HELL in their families. They must be protoadults from early childhood.  Oldest children have such SAD lives.

      replyreport