The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama #12

A fictional account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Twelfth in a series.

Barack: Why are you still upset about this?

Michelle: Because I have told you time and time again to watch what you say when there is a microphone and reporters around!

Barack: How was I supposed to know that my remarks would be picked up?

Michelle: Barack, you are being an idiot! Just because you were back home in Chicago does not mean you are to let your guard down.

Barack: What did I say that was so bad?

Michelle: OK. I will start with you saying that federal workers are "slugs and not doing their job."

Barack: I said "some," Michelle. I was actually defending government workers by saying they compare favorably to private sector workers.

Michelle: And what part of this will your critics seize upon, Barack? Many federal workers will only remember your "slugs" comment.

Barack: Alright.

Michelle: How about the remarks about technology in the White House? Why would you even mention that the telephones don't work? And the comment about you being the President of the United States! Oh, let me quote it for you! (Michelle quotes) "The Oval Office, I always thought I was going to have really cool phones and stuff. I'm like, C'mon guys, I'm the president of the United States. Where's the fancy buttons and stuff and the big screen comes up? It doesn't happen. It's true in the Pentagon. It's true in the agencies. It's true in the Department of Homeland Security." (End of Michelle quoting)

Barack, what were you thinking? You aren't playing XBOX and Playstation in the Oval Office, dummy! What does the rest of the country and the world think? That we operate in some ghetto fabulous way?

Barack: Well...

Michelle: Barack, you got comfortable around those donors at your fundraiser in Chicago. I told you and Joe Biden, after he opened his big mouth, to watch what you say, didn't I?

Barack: Yes.

Michelle: And then those remarks about the battle with the GOP over the budget! If you had private conversations with GOP leaders over health care reform and other social programs, why are you telling donors what you said? Do you understand the meaning of "private?"

Barack: I was just explaining that I stood up to the House and Senate GOP leadership by letting them know that I wasn't going to be nickel-and-dimed.

Michelle: I haven't heard John Boehner on an open mic discussing his conversations with YOU! I haven't heard Mitch McConnell talking about his private conversations with YOU!

Barack: Alright, Michelle. You made your points. I should have been more careful.

Michelle: Damn right you should have been more careful! Let me be very clear. You are not a shoo-in to win a second term. 'The people' are upset about these wars and military conflicts, losing their homes and jobs, high-ass gas prices and everything else. Bush is not getting the blame, Barack. They are looking at you! Remember, you were supposed to bring 'change!'

Barack: Yep.

Michelle: Let me leave you with this before you run off to another meeting - I heard Jay Leno make a couple of thought-provoking jokes about you.

Barack: What?

Michelle: Leno joked, "President Obama is going to seek re-election. His slogan this time? 'Change you can believe in. This time I promise. Really.'"

Barack: (smiling)

Michelle: And he joked, "President Obama said in an interview over the weekend that he really misses being anonymous. He said, 'I miss Saturday mornings rolling out of bed and not shaving, going to the market...' Be careful what you wish for, 2012 is just around the corner!"

Barack: (not smiling)

Michelle: There won't be a John McCain/Sarah Palin ticket to stroll to victory against next time!

Barack: Pretty harsh words, Michelle.

Michelle: Stick to the script, Barack! Stick to the damn script!

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time!

Copyright 2011 - Dexter Yarbrough