The Wonderful Wizard of Reno...Part 2

The "Silver Legacy Resort Casino"
The "Silver Legacy Resort Casino" | Source

Legal Disclaimer...

This would, most certainly, be an ill-advised place to enter this particular story. Pure mental pandemonium will ensue...

Might I suggest beginning the Tale at the Start of the Story? ...This can be accomplished by clicking HERE.

I Hope you Enjoy...





Twister is a game by Milton Bradley, a division of Hasbro. Description at Flickr:
Twister is a game by Milton Bradley, a division of Hasbro. Description at Flickr: | Source
Source
Santa hat.
Santa hat. | Source
Little remains of a home destroyed by one of the 22 confirmed tornadoes that swept across eastern Oklahoma on May 10. The powerful storms produced the fourth largest single-day outbreak in the state's history. FEMA Photo by Win Henderson
Little remains of a home destroyed by one of the 22 confirmed tornadoes that swept across eastern Oklahoma on May 10. The powerful storms produced the fourth largest single-day outbreak in the state's history. FEMA Photo by Win Henderson | Source

I Believe We Left Off on...Midgets...

As Dorothy, Scarecrow, and I emerged from the stairwell...we found ourselves within the wreck of a 1930s farm house that looked as if it had been hurled onto that spot by a twister.

We went through the tossed living room and out onto the porch. Just outside, Toto, Cowardly Lion, Tin man, and Applejack were considering the two legs sticking out from under the stairs...the prerequisite ruby slippers were in evidence.

This caught my attention only briefly. I more than half-way expected that from the movie and everything.

What I didn’t expect was the smoking hot, simmering, conflagration of sexual chemistry standing behind them...

She looked familiar...as if from a dream...

She was dressed in a sexy and sultry Santa mini-dress. It was form fitting and off the shoulders. White trim served as the thigh high border to the ecstasy promised by her stocking-clad legs...

Her beautiful, pale, flawless, alabaster face was framed by a tangled explosion of dark flowing locks... Red-lipstick adorned pouty lips, fix me in place, while her devastatingly gorgeous eyes destroy me. I was feeling like a rube standing there staring at her...

“Oh boy...Oh boy...” frets the Cowardly Lion. “We’ve gone and done done it now. We’ve finally killed someone with a flying house. ...and while they are wearing gaudy knee-high socks!! I told you this would happen!! I told you!”

“Actually, you said it would be a flying mobile home.” I say distractedly while continuing my open appraisal of the enchanting enchantress...

“Pull him out! Go through his pockets! Those shoes are mine!! I get rare coins and jewelry...” From Scarecrow...

“I refuse to move until you put me into some flannel.” Dorothy states definitively.

Toto leaves the group to consult with some curious looking little people who had gathered a short distance away.

The Tin man was searching for a suitable song to represent squishing someone with a flying house. He changes his mind when he realizes he is the Tin man...Black Sabbath’s...Iron Man...

Applejack notices my preoccupation and flies over to me. She gives me the low-down on the beautiful girl who is now staring back at me. It should be noted that the girl's stare is being conducted, in a fashion, far more poised than my own...


Female Beauty...The Nude...
Female Beauty...The Nude... | Source
Source
Source

Midgets...? Or Dwarves? ...I’ve Lost Count...

She walks up to me. Applejacks flies a discreet distance away...I had found my Glinda...the beautiful Good Witch of the North...

“You are incredibly hot.” I blurt in my most (not so much) most suave moment. “I thought Witches are supposed to be ugly?”

“Only bad witches are ugly. Hot witches are hot.” She tells me.

I couldn’t argue the point. The proof was in the pudding and I definitely wanted to taste her pudding...

“So are you the Smoking-Hot, Good Witch of the North?” I ask. I needed to start getting a handle on any new characters for Part Two.

“Oh no...In this story...The witch of the north was good looking...but she was a bad witch.”

“Not as hot as you?!” I ask disbelieving...

“Pfft. Hardly...still...she had her attributes.” She says. “I’m Betty...the Smoking-Hot, Good Witch of your Imagination.” She smiles at me...

Her smile warms every uncovered part of my body and several parts that were covered...it occurs to me...

“She WAS a bad witch? She HAD attributes...?”

Betty, the Smoking-Hot, Good Witch of My Imagination, points to the two legs sticking out from under the house...

“Oooooh...” I make the connection. “Wait...’bad witch’ from the North? You mean...?”

“Yes.” Says Betty. “Your house landed on Sarah Palin.”

“DING-DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD...THE WITCH IS DEAD...!” Cried the little people that had been talking to Toto. They start prancing about and singing their delight. I put a stop to that.

“OH HELL NO!” I shout. They come to a ragged and jagged halt. They begin muttering and casting dirty looks in my direction. I didn’t care. This wasn’t going to turn into a musical on my watch...

I was worried. The Palins can be a mean and vindictive bunch. They frown on anything that doesn’t generate dollars for their greedy souls. We had just killed the fatted cow and now Todd would need to get an actual job.

The fat was in the fire...


Natasha Hoeberigs starred as Dorothy in The Regals Musical Society's 2008 production of The Wizard Of Oz.
Natasha Hoeberigs starred as Dorothy in The Regals Musical Society's 2008 production of The Wizard Of Oz. | Source
A neuropsychiatric social work technician conducts a group therapy session, with U.S. disciplinary barracks prisoners
A neuropsychiatric social work technician conducts a group therapy session, with U.S. disciplinary barracks prisoners | Source
 A Bic cigarette lighter
A Bic cigarette lighter | Source

When the Dwarves are Full...It is time to get Storage Boxes...

I was idly following Scarecrow’s attempts to remove the ruby slippers and pondering how to cram this latest narrative twist into the classic 1939 movie.

I was a little worried that I might have to re-watch it for reasons of accuracy

...a lot of singing and dancing in that one....

Betty nudges me. “Help that girl out, Thomas.”

“Huh?” Thinking I had just received, quite possibly, the best non-nude nudge of my life...

She indicates Dorothy from Kansas. Dorothy from Kansas was not pleased. I could tell...just a look...a feeling...something, something...

Her (rather saucy) 1930s farm girl look was in flux. I hadn’t been paying attention and 1930s farm girl look (saucy or otherwise) isn’t on my typical mental playlist.

As such, her outfit went into the nearest default mode; Apparently...come to find...that default mode is...slutty Catholic-girl stripper.

Something to work out in therapy I’m sure...

“Oh shit!” Betty and I hurry over.

“Hey asshole.” Kelly says. “I didn’t sign up for this shit. In fact...I didn’t even sign...”

I immediately begin apologizing. Betty jumps to my defense...

“He’s a moron, Kelly, but he’s harmless.” I was deeply flattered by the praise but tried not to show it.

The rest of our group moves over to us. Scarecrow notices Kelly’s sexy new garb and goes into tweaker mode. He puffs up...

As he begins making his move, Kelly pulls out a lighter and sets his left arm on fire...

“I’m not in the mood.” She informs him.

He begins screaming for help while trying to put out, the conflagration that has become, his left arm. No one helps.

He’s a tweaker. He has to want to help himself first or there is no point. A sad reality.

It’s like Toto said somewhere in Part One... “To get to the top in Reno...you have to go to the bottom first.” A nasty reality for methamphetamine users as well.



Notary Seal...
Notary Seal... | Source
Dorothy’s Ruby Slippers, 1938 Sixteen-year-old Judy Garland wore these sequined shoes as Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.
Dorothy’s Ruby Slippers, 1938 Sixteen-year-old Judy Garland wore these sequined shoes as Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. | Source
Bristol Palin
Bristol Palin | Source
Wacky witch flying her broom.
Wacky witch flying her broom. | Source

How many Midgets can You fit in A Storage Box...Five...Six...?

Betty and I exchange surprised looks.

“Nice job. Sweet.” We both chorused our praise to Kelly.

“Kelly,” I state emphatically, as if in the presence of a notary, “My bad. Entirely...my bad. You mentioned flannel?”

With narrow eyes shooting daggers of hatred, she nods.

I apply the flannel.

Flannel shirt, t-shirt, jeans...just normal shit. Betty, who turns out, is a notary, passes over personal wardrobe rights for 'Dorothy' to Kelly for the duration of this story. We all sign on the appropriate lines.

Due to narrative need, I rushed the next scene and she was now wearing the ruby slippers.

“Are those even close to comfortable?” Betty, the Smoking-Hot, Good Witch of my Imagination asks Kelly.

Betty enjoys a good shoe...

“Surprisingly, yes.” Kelly admits. They start talking shoe stuff. Applejack (who I think is a girl??) joins them...

I go into consultation with the Cowardly Lion (Creative Voice) and the Tin man (Internal CD Player). We’ve all been in the trenches of a Palin related donnybrook before. The Palins fight dirty. Fucking mad savages are what they are...

Our voices rise. Not out of anger or stress. We couldn’t hear over Scarecrow’s hollering...his shoulder was now burning...

“Todd’s going to be pissed. With Sarah dead he will need to get a real job!! And who’s going to claim parentage for half of Bristol Palin’s illegitimate offspring?” Asks Internal CD Player in the persona of the Tin Man.

Creative Voice and I were shocked. We had never heard him say anything beyond swirl, swirl...click, click...then music...

Toto comes over and confirms what he’d heard from the Munchkins...

”It’s either Midgets or Dwarves...” He tells us.

“What does that mean? What does that mean?” From Cowardly Lion...

“Have you been noticing that too?” I ask the others. “The capsule titles have no apparent meaning? They just go back and forth between midgets and dwarves?”

“No.” Everyone denies. They look at me as if I’d lost my mind.

What the fuck...?” I mutter under my breath before loudly declaring...

“Someone’s phoning in the capsule titles!”

A clap of thunder roils the square as a cold wind blows from the West and darkness descends on our gathering...The Wicked Witch of the West...

Riding in on the insanity (of the political right in Nevada politics)...on a broomstick of deceit, deception, and...um...uh...dim-wittedness...the Nevada Tea Party favorite...three time congressional loser...Sharon Angle descends from a stormy cloud.

Cackling like the mad banshee she is...

The fat was in the fire...


Sharron Angle
Sharron Angle | Source
Diagram Illustrating the KRC Triangle (An idea incorporated into the Philosophy of Scientology)
Diagram Illustrating the KRC Triangle (An idea incorporated into the Philosophy of Scientology) | Source
warning about stupidity
warning about stupidity | Source
PRESS CREDENTIALS LEADERS Magazine SIPA News Service
PRESS CREDENTIALS LEADERS Magazine SIPA News Service | Source

I believe the Number is Three. OH...Ha ha...He said Dwarves Instead of Drawers...

Tin man and the Cowardly Lion form a phalanx in front of Dorothy...protecting her. Toto, the plump Russian Dwarf hamster, watches from a rock...

Scarecrow, whose smoldering stump had stopped burning, ponders whether a shift in allegiance will yield a quicker sack of tweak in his well used tweak pipe...

I bravely, and manfully, place myself in front of Betty so as nothing could possibly ever harm her. I somehow miss the bemused expression that fleetingly crosses her face as I gird for battle...

Sharon Angle settles in amidst a pile of voodoo science, half-baked ideas, sinister viewpoints, and a penchant for dodging any questions that might imply that she was responsible, in any way, to the electorate she seeks to represent...

“What do we have here, my little pretties?” She cackles. Insanity ripples like electricity through the cornea of her depravity as she considers us.

She casts about worriedly, seeking to reassure herself that there are no representatives of the local or national media about. That was her Achilles heel...

“Oh shit, Sharon.” I call out. “Are you seriously attempting to maintain the allusion that you have any credibility as a politician? You are, after all, the poster child of ideology run amok.”

Angle looks at me balefully and sinks to the lowest common denominator in right-wing politics...she evokes her L. Ron Hubbard, God given right, to kill me...

“I see I will need to exercise some Second Amendment remedies, here.” She intones ominously...

Betty worriedly places her hands on my shoulders...

I am very aware of Betty's fingers digging into my skin. They are like eight points of light shooting into my soul...and two thumbs. The thumbs feel real good too. They give me strength. And...OH...the beginnings of something else...

Time to get rid of Sharon Angle...



Source
Source
The Eternal Spring Kiss by Auguste Rodin
The Eternal Spring Kiss by Auguste Rodin | Source
Source
Source

I Wonder if Betty Would like To Attend a Midget Wrestling Show...?

I pull out my, expired, Temporary Press Pass that I'd used for an assignment to Russia. I place my thumb over the invalid date and hold it up.

Clever, that...

“Ms. Angle!! I get her attention before continuing.

“Roving correspondent for the International (cough, cough) Herald...You are on record as stating the Canadian border is the most porous border we have. I have it on, good authority, that this is untrue.”

“AHHH!?! THE MEDIA...?!” She shrieks before backing up in fear. She begins repeating the code phrase used at her campaign headquarters whenever the media was in the building...

“It’s time to water the plants. It’s time to water the plants...It’s time to water...”

She jumps on her broom and beats feet out of there...

The Munchkins let loose with a ragged cheer...

"Yaay..."

“Very impressive.” Betty says as I turn around and put my arms around her waist while pulling her towards me. I was on a rush...I didn't think the whole out-of-date-press-pass move would work.

Betty cups her hands around my neck before standing on her tiptoes and kissing me quickly on the lips.

Her lips were like the gentle touch of gossamer wings of pleasure. Her perfume danced with my olfactory glands while her eyes sparkled with mischief and promise...

“OK.” She announces. “I have to get back to work.”

“Aww...do we have to go to work?” I whined. “Couldn’t we just while away the afternoon chatting?”

She pouts her pretty lips as she rereads what I have been doing to ‘while away’ my time...

“Um, I don’t know where you get this WE (have to get to work) shit...but yeah...I...have to get back to work. But this should hold you until I see you again...”

She smiles at me as she presses something into my hand...

That bubble thing (from the movie) engulfs her and takes her off to mysterious far-away places. I watch her until the last possible moment...until she disappears.

Only then do I think to look in my hand...

A, single-serve, snack-pack of pudding. Butterscotch...

I smiled. I like Betty, the Smoking-Hot, Good Witch of my Imagination...


(End of Part 2)

(Part 1)(Part 3)(Part 4)(Part 5)(Part 6)(Part 7)(Part 8)(Part 9)(Part 10)



More by this Author

  • Train, Rain, and Pain
    105

    Recent business reverses force me to reappraise my writing career. My ill-advised attempts to ‘corner’ the Internet has led to the ownership of twenty-three copies of The Game of Monopoly, near insolvency,...

  • The Wonderful Wizard Of Reno
    80

    I have a confession...You have been lured here under false pretenses. Undoubtedly...you expected a long story. Oh...don’t worry...it is. It is also unfinished with an, as yet, un-formulated ending. (No...I mean...

  • Fear and Loathing on the Paper Route
    95

    The evening had started out inauspiciously enough. I had just started reading Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas when my roommate, Erika, had come into the room. “We were just outside...


Comments 44 comments

Arlene V. Poma 4 years ago

Oooooooooooh, Butterscotch snack pack to go with my original Fig Newtons. What an entertaining Part II to finish my week.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Thomas - OMG! ROTF! I am beginning to wonder what you are smoking:) LMAO how do you even imagine this stuff? Beautiful - the house couldn't have landed on a better witch....now all those Russians can rest knowing she isn't out there spying on them from the porch.

And when you woke up - was there a single packet of butterscotch pudding lying on the pillow next to you? Butterscotch is hot! LMAO you are a riot!


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago

Geez! This was long! longer than a presidential speech! Would please Betty step forward? Such a witchy ending!

LORD


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Arlene...

Thank you...those are two good treat options. They should probably appear in a later part 3 or 4, perhaps? I hope you continue to enjoy the show!

Thomas


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Kelly (Dorothy)...

Oh...I wanted to get your response most of all!!

The house fall was propitious...although...It hints to some crazy stuff later I am thinking...which to answer your question...these thoughts come from a variety of sources...internet...Canada...

Maybe we should have Putin come in later...? You know...with an award...? We shall see. I am glad you are still on the ride and having fun!

Thanks!

Thomas


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Lord...

Thank you for the read. Any story that has Betty in it is worth a read! I will run the next section somewhat shorter, perhaps.

Thanks for the comment!

Thomas


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Kelly...

Butterscotch IS hot...I haven't woken Up yet...I shall totally let you know when I find out. I mean...I hope there's butterscotch pudding waiting...


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

I'm off to see the wizard to see if I can get something from him to enable me to have a 1/4 of your imagination. Or maybe I should just go ask Alice :)

Looking forward to part 3.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Susan...

So you want a quarter? I will see what I can do for you...No...forget Alice...she will short your bag...

Part 3 is beginning...part 1 was just unpublished...so I am dealing with that...but it is giving me ideas for part 3.

OK...oh...it will be like $75 for the quarter...American...

Thomas


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

Just a comment to say - I wasn't finished reading part 1. sigh.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Flora...

It would appear that those little blue "Surf Canyon" links invaded and linked to every available word. The people at surf canyon have a shoe fetish I think...anyways...I broke links...put in other links and resubmitted...they claim 72 hours to fix. Yes...sigh.

I sure hope you were enjoying Part 1 and it will be up soon for you to finish!

Thanks,

Thomas


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

Man alive Thomas but is your imagination a mighty fine trip! The chuckles started with the Bad Witch of the North and continued on from there. Ha-ha Kelly...er, Dorothy is a dangerous lady with a lighter when she's not in the mood so be gentlemanly around her from here on out. Part 2 carried on the traditions in fine style from part 1. You've got one of the best creative minds going on the hubs my man- thanks for the butterscotch Thomas!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Alastar...

Your words are very kind and your observation that Dorothy...er, Kelly is downright lethal when she is not in the mood...spot on.

I can't help but think that Scarecrow is going to have a tough go of things...just a feeling...

I am glad you are enjoying the process...I have started Part 3...I think it may end up weird...I sure hope so...

Thanks for the comment and stop!

Thomas


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

Thomas, the second part was just as crazy as I had hoped :)

Of course, I'm glad that Internal CD Player finally spoke, as his words were very wise... Betty was a surprise at first, but when I stopped to consider your undying love for her - not a surprise at all, right? As you said, when Betty's in it, the story is always worth reading..

As for part three and the whole Palin, Canada, Russia and Putin thing, I would really like to see Vladimir visit us in part 3 or whenever he finds the time really...

Can't wait to see what will happen in part 3 and whether Palin's really dead, which I find very difficult to believe :)

P.S. Scarecrow had it coming - I don't like that guy at all :)

Thanks for this great journey, and I'm buying the ticket for part three here in advance!

Nemanja


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Nemanja...

(Business first) ...if Vladimir is requested...Vladimir shall appear. He is after all...the new face of Russia...

It occurs to me...I will need a translator...I will bet two rubles that Serbian is just close enough...If not...well...I'm not sure that will matter...we shall try for part 3 although 4 is more likely.

It takes a Tweaker/Scarecrow to make Creative Voice look good, huh? ...we will keep our eye on him.

I'm glad you liked Internal CD Players foray into the spoken word...we shall hear more from him. As always yes...Betty is special.

Thanks! I am very glad you are continuing to like the series!

Thomas

PS...Part 3 will be weird...or I will refuse to publish it. Just saying...


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

Thomas, I have to offer a response to your response to my response... or something close to this :)

Vladimir is indeed the face of Russia and ill be a great new character in this weird series of hubs. Unfortunately, you would lose your two rubles, as I can understand Russian as much as I can understand Norwegian - only if I have a Russian translator. On the other hand, my girlfriend speaks fluent Russian, as she used to study the language during her college years. So, we can make a deal if you are willing to give another two rubles, or maybe three...

As you have noticed, the Tweaker is really making Creative Voice look good, so you should probably insert him into some other of your stories, just to make us have a better general opinion of CV.

Anyway, can't wait to meet the great Vladimir and see him fight Palin as the resurrected witch :)

Of course Part 3 will be weird, I wouldn't even read it if it weren't weird. In fact, I'm expecting to detect a certain level of weirdness during the first few hundred words in order to keep reading, so do your best :)

I'm really enjoying this series, Thomas, as you can see.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Nemanja...

On Scarecrow...you don't want to tote a tweaker about any longer than you have to. I actually include Creative Voice in these affairs so people will have a better general opinion of Thomas...this would be interesting...

Language issues have been noted and the hiring of an 'additional' translator...your girlfriend...has been brought up with the accounting department...We are still waiting to hear...I do like the idea of a random group of Norwegians though...talking Serbian...? or is it Russian...? Either way...

By the way...your surprise at seeing Betty in the story was probably mirrored by Betty's surprise at being in the story.

I have checked...the first few hundred words...are weird my friend.

Thomas


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

Oh, I am so glad to read about the weirdness of the opening paragraph - in my book, weird and well-written are common synonyms. I recently wrote something that was interpreted as weirs although I though it was quite well-written :)

Your remark about including CV so we would think higher of Thomas has been noted here in my note-book-thing or something, and I will keep an eye on this literary device of yours in the future.

Norwegians talking Serbian with a Russian accent would be a great thing to have in any story, as it would only bring the weirdness to a whole new level...

Thanks for the talk my friend. I'm off to sleep now, and I'll probably dream about some or all of this... Well, hopefully not all of it :)


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Nemanja...

Enjoy your sleep my friend...yeah...hopefully not all of it...that's no way to get quality R.E.M. sleep!

Thomas


Lapse profile image

Lapse 4 years ago from East Coast Rules

TS! Sorry I'm gettin' killed by networking issues at home - am slumming it at the local Library right now - how embarrassing!.. so I'm just now reading this... had to comment on one thing mid-read though...

Funniest line from you: "I was a little worried I might have to re-watch it for reasons of accuracy"

HA HA HA!!! You worried about accuracy??? That's rich! Okay back to the tale...

Wow Kelly's a potty mouth! ...or I mean you MADE her a potty mouth! :-P


Lapse profile image

Lapse 4 years ago from East Coast Rules

Don't worry about the weirdness nemanja... I think anything written by TS is by definition "weird." Its just an inherrent thing.

TS: I think Betty (and Kelly/Dorothy to just a slightly lesser degree) distracted you from giving the munchkins their due. :-) Not that I blame you, because I really do not. One of the best parts is your "default mode." Is any of that a result of the Reno environment or something else from the convoluted saga of your life?

Nice going working in the "conflagration." I see you went for a literal meaning. :-)

A friend of ours recently gave us some butterscotch chip cookies for X-mas. I am 1,000% on the butterscotch bandwagon! Nothing wrong with the chocholate chip, but there's just something more exotic about the butterscotch. Pudding, chips, etc... I think you should work more butterscotch into the story! Lol...


nemanjaboskov profile image

nemanjaboskov 4 years ago from Serbia

James, I had to jump in here and make a comment on the weirdness thing.

Yes, everything written by our dear friend Thomas is indeed weird, but I have adopted a new level of weirdness that I expect from each and every one of his new stories.. It makes things just a little more interesting/weird/fantastic/mad etc...


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

James...

As regards your mid-read comment...."accuracy" ...yeah...that's funny!

I added conflagration...just for you good sir...I think I snuck it in twice.

The Munchkins were slighted...mostly cause I don't like them...They sing a lot. Still, the story is not over...they will probably reappear. Kelly is a spitfire, huh?

In terms of default mode? ...um...maybe environment in Reno but to be fair...that was already packed in a box when I moved here...we will see what answers come out of therapy...

If by "getting killed by network issues" means you didn't pay your internet bill...I feel ya!

Be careful...homeless tweakers surf porn at the local library...or was it surfs corn? Let me know which one it is...

Thanks,

Thomas


jhamann profile image

jhamann 4 years ago from Reno NV

Someones phoning in capsule titles! Let us form a lynch mob! Olfactory bulbs are fascinating things, there is also Jacobsen's organs that aid in the.......


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Nemanja...

My room mate just finished an English class that featured the literary device of "Magical Realism" as such...I am experimenting...sooooo...weird SHOULD be covered...so far...more magical then realism...but...season to taste I suppose.

Thomas


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Jhamann...

I had forgotten about Jacobsen's organ. If my olfactory glands ever find themselves dancing with Betty's perfume again...I shall make reference!

Thanks!

Thomas


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

YOu know - you got to be real careful with Real - when she says she isn't in the mood she means. She is a Real Housewife you know! This is absolutley hilirious. I really have no clue where you get all this stuff from. Now I want on the record to mention, I would love those shoes! I have always wanted a pair and if I have them then I could use it for next years Halloween Costume... just saying. And I am stealing one of your pudding cups too!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

NOOOOOO!!!

He chases after Barbergirl28 and tackles her in the yard. They begin fighting over the pudding. Barbergirl28 has been working out for the past 80 days...she's kicking his ass...

"I need this pudding mooooore....!" He yells. "It's Betty pudding....!"

Barbergirl28 takes pity on the pathetic wretch on the ground as he clutches his pudding...He gives her a $7.77 Buffet voucher for the Silver Legacy...

She looks satisfied...he crawls off into part three...clutching the pudding...


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Ok ok - you can have your pudding back... I am just going to go eat my peanut butter balls... walks away while wearing the ruby red shoes slowly dropping peanut butter balls and puppy chow with each step.

Will you follow the treats... there might be a trap waiting for you! LOL And thanks for the voucher... with all this working out, I got to eat like a king! Man - metabolism is burning everything... she says knowing between bites of steak!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

...Toto notices the trail of puppy chow leading into the forest...the group...follows...


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

Finished part 2. not, unfortunately, before you published part 3. Always behind! You know, I was in a production of The Wizard of Oz and love the film. None of my memories are like these, though.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Flora...

The funniest words I have read in this hub are, "None of my memories are like these, though." Purely priceless, my friend!

I was actually unaware that you played in a production of The Wizard of Oz...where you Dorothy? My experience is limited to watching the movie a few dozen times through the growing up process.

I know that you are a very busy woman, particularly this time of year, and so I always appreciate when you are able to take the time to slug through one of these bastards...

I am currently plugging through part 4...I don't think you will have very many memories of that either...

Thanks,

Thomas


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

No, this was in 1998, too old to play Dorothy:) I was a crow as well as singing chorus parts when otherwise not needed. In the stage version of the musical, the crows are played by people and sing along with the scarecrow, making fun of him.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Flora...

I was unaware of the crow factor...I tell you...once a musical gets going...everyone starts singing. I hope you are enjoying the story...as you can tell...I am disrespecting the shit of the musical genre...but that's just me.

Thomas


phdast7 profile image

phdast7 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Can't wait for parts 3 and 4. My favoritist favorite part? The house falling on and crushing the bad witch Sarah Palin. :) Theresa


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Theresa...

Glad you are still enjoying it! On Palin? Yeah...I know why Leno and Letterman like her so much...

Thanks,

Thomas


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

part 3 seems to be missing now...


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

hi Flora...

It is missing. I fixed the stuff last night after it was un-published and resubmitted. I am told it will take 72 hours for a human to look at it and say it is OK. I should imagine that will happen sometime around the time they un-publish Parts 4 or 5...?

I will be please to drop you a line when they reinstate Part 3! So...I saw the message you wrote Cardisa about taking my hubs in smaller pieces...that is best. Less chance of cracking a tooth or something...

Congrats on your 'prominent' Honorable Mention in the Best Hubbers of 2011!

Thomas


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

I got your message in my email. Cracking a tooth? Haha!You know I did chip a tooth once. Luckily it was the tip only so it didn't reach the nerve. Part 5? Oh,dear wouldn't that be funny (sarcasm) if every time you published a part in the series one of the earlier ones got unpublished?


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Flora...

It would be funny if they un-published something after I published something else. It WOULD be funny...if they weren't actually doing that...?? (laughing)

Thomas


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

I meant it would be funny if they KEPT doing that...no!


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

Flora...

Right, right, right...you are right...NO! (laughing) Thanks for chipping away at the series!

Thomas


David Warren profile image

David Warren 4 years ago from Nevada

"Its time to water the plants..." ROFL! This is fantastic! Great writing! On to part three.


ThoughtSandwiches profile image

ThoughtSandwiches 4 years ago from Reno, Nevada Author

David...

lol...you have to LOVE Nevada right-wing politics! Sharron is a special favorite target for satire...her and Sarah, I guess.

Thank you for your kind words.

Thomas

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working