A powerful yet counter-intuitive communication tool for couples is a simple "scaling exercise" that can relationship science shows can be very helpful in times of conflict and when things are running beautifully between a couple.
Ask your partner to rate how you're doing as partner on a scale of 1 to 10 with one meaning "I'm not happy" and 10 meaning "this relationship is piece of heaven." If you get a 10 most of the time write a hub or maybe a book, so that other couples can learn from you and your relationship. If you get a 7 or lower, ask specific open-ended questions to find what's keeping you from a 10. Make sure to ask similar questions about how this gap is making your partner feel.
Keep up you're gentle questioning until you have a clear idea of what's causing the "gap," how it feels for your partner emotionally and what specific steps you need to take to get to a 10. Once you've implement your "action-plan", ask your partner to scale your relationship again to see if you're getting to a 10.
I've seen this simple solution-focused approach really work with highly distressed couples in my private practice. It's a particularly powerful strategy when both partners work reciprocally to more effectively communicate and meet each others core-relationship needs!