Is it better to live unhappily married or get divorced when children are involved?
my parents got a divorce when I was 8. I have no idea how it really impacted me now as an adult except for the fact I guess it made me stronger but would I have came out better if they stayed together? who knows... My question to you all is what do you think is more acceptable and less greedy?
I think it's best to go your separate ways. It's much better for a child to have two low-stress, loving homes than to have one that's full of contention. My parents divorced many years after they should have, and my sister and I still have some really horrible childhood memories from that time. After the divorce, we felt like we were finally able to relax and just be kids. As for my son -- he's even told me how much he loves the different houses now, and how much he loves his stepdad. At five years old (his bio-dad and I divorced when he was two), my son lets me know how happy he is that I'm so happy now. We have a lot more fun, and I'm able to be there for him a lot more than when I was miserable and in a toxic relationship. I am able to live a more fulfilled life and, in turn, can now give my best to my son.
As for what is the most greedy -- I guess that depends on the individual situation. Most of the time, it's far easier to stay in a bad situation than it is to take the steps to live a healthy life. Knowing how detrimental my last relationship was to my son was the extra boost I needed to stop just trying to put up with everything...I can choose to sit and suffer, but I finally realized that I couldn't make that choice for him too.
Children are better than we are in sensing emotions - they will always know that there is something wrong with their parents. And if you keep pretending all is fine, it will be even worse - they will think it's normal and this is how they will think about relationships. So they will try to build similar unhappy one in the future.
You can tell that I'm pro divorce if people are unhappy together, but in civilisied way, to show their children that people can still respect each other even tho they don't love each other anymore. Also divorce give both a chance for creating a new fulfilling relationships. It not only make adults happy but also shows the youngsters what they should aim for and that second best is not good enough.
The only catch here is if people really know what caused that their become unhappy while they used to be happy once. What was the reason - expecting too much? Seeing and ideal and not a real person? Believing that one can change and shape another? We have to understand our own problem here first and accept that we are both responsible for what have happened, then we can stand a chance to have a proper relationship in the future. Otherwise the scenario will repeat again.
As Dr. Phil says, "Children would rather be from a broken home than live in a broken home."
No child wants to live in a household where there is constant fighting or tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. My parents got divorced when I was 7 and the only effect I think it had on me was not "assuming" marriage leads to "happy ever after" endings. I also saw divorce wasn't "the end of the world". It's just a way for two people who wrongly got together to clear up a mistake. No one should be "stuck" with someone simply because they made an uninformed decision. Issues arise and circumstances change. We even let the majority of criminals out of jail at some point. Divorce is about having a second chance. A person can be good parent without being married. It takes more courage to walk away from a bad relationship to start a new life than it does to stay put blaming someone else for our misery. Life really comes down to the choices and decisions we make. "The world may not owe you anything but YOU owe yourself the world!"
As kids my sister and I had to listen to our parents fight every single night. Even as kids we knew that mom and dad should get divorced even if my parents thought it best to stay together for the kids. Kids are very perceptive. So I have to agree with the people answering, better to divorce than stay together for the sake of the kids. Whoever thought that staying together when both parents are miserable obviously never came from a home like that.
by Elena 6 years ago
If a person has divorced 3 times, would you conclude that the person has an underlying problem?
by Annie 13 years ago
Should a married couple stay together for thesake of the children, and keep the family unit...together.
by kirstenblog 14 years ago
Marriages hit rough spots, sometimes long ones too. Put two separate individuals in an intimate relationship and arguments/fights are normal, eventually, even if the love is still strong. The frequency of arguments may increase gradually, or the length of arguments will increase. A person...
by Gabriel Wilson 9 years ago
Would you stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of your children?My friend has been married for almost 10 years and has 3 children. She and her husband hate each other (her words not mine) but have decided to suffer being unhappy until their children are all over 16. The youngest is only 4. I...
by Tina Boomerina 8 years ago
Why don't people in their 20s and 30s get married anymore?In the 70s, when I was in my twenties, men and women got married and, usually, wanted to have families. What has happened to change that?
by lambservant 11 years ago
Why is it that when couples break-up or divorce, suddenly they are mean, vindictive, and retaliatory towards each other.They once loved each other passionately and never would have imagined they would behave like that.
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |