Is matchmaking acceptable?

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   ExpectGreatThingsposted 12 years ago

   Is matchmaking acceptable?
   
   I desperately want some of my single friends to marry each other. I'm looking for advice from people who have successfully set up their friends or from anyone who has had an experience (good or bad) from being set up. Any suggestions appreciated
   
   

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2. 72

   multiculturalsoulposted 12 years ago

   I have had success twice ... and failure more times than I can count.
   
   You see two people who are "perfect" for each other. You drop hints to both of them: One day, he hits his knee and--success. The two couples I set up back in the 1980s are still together and now enjoying their grandchildren.
   
   All you can do is hint and suggest. Forcing the issue--"Why don't you ask her to marry you? It's obvious to me that she'll say yes!"--isn't a good idea. That was the worst backfire. I "made" a friend propose, and she turned him down harshly. She had only been hanging around him to get better acquainted with his best friend. Wish I had seen that. She and the best friend are still married, however ... 
   
   I wish you well. Hints and suggestions only, and definitely make no guarantees.

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      ExpectGreatThingsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your insight! It makes me smile that you continue to set people up even though you have more failures than you can count. I promise not to be pushy!

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   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   Life is a personal journey. Each of us gets to choose our own friends, lovers, and spouse. There is nothing you should do beyond making introductions. There are so many variables to consider before two people decide to become a "couple" or exclusive. You may feel two people are "perfect" for one another but you will never have a way of knowing if they have "chemistry" when they kiss or make love.
   No matter how well you think you know someone you only know them on a "friendship" level. As for their interaction with their mates there is a good chance they behave differently than they do with you. Odds are you have only been hearing one side of their dating experiences.
   The biggest risk you run if a "couple" is formed and it doesn't work out or someone gets their heart broken.....etc is you will be put in an awkward position of either deciding to take one side over another or making sure you don't invite both parties to the same gatherings. Great friends are hard to come by. I wouldn't play cupid. In fact if two friends met at a party I was giving I would smile and tell them they are on their own! I'd also tell them to never put me in the middle if things take an unexpected turn and then I'd wish them the best of luck. :-)

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   1. 72

      ExpectGreatThingsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for sharing your experience. I will take your thoughts into account!

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   stricktlydatingposted 12 years ago

   Matchmaking is certainly acceptable! When you're single and looking for a date it's great to have someone you know set you up with someone they know, you already have a friend in common and it's a fantastic way to find a date...  But don't get too carried away! You're already wanting them married up and they haven't even had a date yet!  You can only organise for them to meet, the rest will be up to them!

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   1. 72

      ExpectGreatThingsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for keeping me grounded in reality! I appreciate your answer.

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