Is it still considered "cheating" in a relationship, if you tell your partner?

1. 65

   lupineposted 11 years ago

   Is it still considered "cheating" in a relationship, if you tell your partner?
   
   Some people go out and "cheat" and they tell their spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend, openly they are doing it. Does that make it not cheating if they are not doing it behind their back?

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2. 80

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   Cheating has to do with breaking promises and lying directly or by omission. Just because someone (confesses) after the fact does not mean they did not cheat.
   
   To avoid being a "cheater" this person would have (entered) the relationship stating, "I'm going to continue to date and have sex with other people. Are you fine with that?" If the response is "yes" then seeing other people is NOT cheating.
   On the other hand if someone bust their mate cheating and their mate makes no bones about by stating they plan to continue to see other people then it's no longer cheating if the betrayed person continues to stay or "sign on" knowing what's going on.
   Cheating involves secrecy, deception/lying, and betrayal.
   Cheating essentially is "breaking the rules" whether it be in a relationship or playing cards. Once the rules have been (agreed upon) anything done outside of them while (pretending) to honor the rules is considered cheating.

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   1. 65

      lupineposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      This could be very complicated and turn out very bad for at least one of the partners. If they continue to "cheat", it's still disrespecting the relationship right?

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   2. 80

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      If someone knows their partner is having sex with other people and they choose to stay with them then they are condoning it. If you are unhappy in a relationship and choose to stay then (you) are (choosing) to be unhappy. No one is stuck with anyone!

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3. 60

   duffsmomposted 11 years ago

   If you are playing a game, Monopoly or whatever and you cheat but tell one of the other players you cheated - is it still cheating? YES, cheating is lying and it is still lying and betrayal whether your partner knows it or not.

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   1. 65

      lupineposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, I think so too.

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   2. 80

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I agree that (confessing) about breaking the rules or cheating (after) one has done so is still cheating. Anytime "agreed upon" rules are broken it's cheating. Catching someone cheating is "busting them". It's all about expectations being set.

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4. 72

   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   That is still cheating. I don't know how they think it isn't considered cheating. Cheating includes having sexual relations with an individual or numerous individuals other than your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/fiance. For some people, even flirting is taking it a step too far, my relationship included. It doesn't matter if the special other knows about your sexual relations with other individuals or not. Some spouses allow cheating, but it's a very tricky route.

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   1. 65

      lupineposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, it's cheating any way you look at it.

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   2. 80

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Cheating means lying and betraying, If someone tells you up front that they are going to have sex with others and you (choose) to stay with them you can't say you they betrayed or misled you. It's either an "open relationship" or you condone it.

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   3. 72

      lburmasterposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Cheating does not mean lying and betraying. If both believe in having sex with others, it is not a monogomous relationship so there is no possibility of cheating. There are relationships where the partner knows but isn't happy about it. Still cheat.

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5. 67

   Admiral Murrahposted 11 years ago

   Cheaters often play word games to hide either what they did or the pain associated with what they did. Knowing the games they play and how they play them can help you deal with them more effectively. read more

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6. 52

   skytreeroadposted 10 years ago

   It's called an open arrangement unless the other person is not in agreement with the situation. Then it is cheating. And the timing is also something that decides if it is cheating or not. Telling the partner afterwards is still cheating.

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