It takes two people to make a marriage work.
It only takes one to end a marriage.
Personally I've always been skeptical about articles and claims made by people who say they (single handily saved their marriage) or won their ex back. This can only happen if their spouse still loves them.
The only "secret" is to give one's mate what they want or need to (feel) loved and appreciated by becoming who they want.
These days people aren't willing to endure unhappiness very long.
Having said that in most instances by the time the unhappy person speaks up they're already "emotionally divorced" from their mate and in some instances may have their eye on someone else assuming they have not cheated. Their mate on the other hand is so wrapped up in them self that they never question whether or not their spouse is happy.
For example assume a couple has a different level of libido. Initially the person with the higher sex drive made attempts to have more sex but over time they backed off after seeing their mate lacked interest so now most nights they watch TV together or in separate rooms doing whatever. The person with the low libido is heaven. Things are going the way they want.
They assume if they're not arguing and have established a routine it means they're both on the same page and are happy with things.
We tend to put the onus on the unhappy person to "communicate" their unhappiness as opposed to having the other person "communicate" or announce what things they're going to stop doing!
Sometimes people "go along to get along" for as long as they can.
Suddenly the content person is shocked when their spouse walks out.
"Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart"
- C. S. Lewis
Oftentimes going to therapy is nothing more than a box to check off the list on the way to divorce. It allows the couple to say they gave it a shot.
My theory is the best way to avoid divorce is to never stop doing the things that won your mate's heart.
When we change our circumstances change.
It's easier to maintain a fire than reignite a spark!
One man's opinion!:)