Why would you stay in a marriage when you know for sure your spouse has cheated

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (9 posts)
  1. Lynn White profile image62
    Lynn Whiteposted 3 years ago

    Why would you stay in a marriage when you know for sure your spouse has cheated on you?

    They have admitted to you that they have cheated, but you still will not get out of the relationahop

  2. askformore lm profile image66
    askformore lmposted 3 years ago

    Well, of course it depends a lot on the circumstances. And at least you inform in your question that she has admitted about the cheating (So at the least she doesn't lie).
    So based upon your brief scenario about the cheating, then: Yes, I would forgive her and stay in the marriage.

  3. Aime F profile image83
    Aime Fposted 3 years ago

    I think in a lot of cases it's easier said than done.

    I've always said that I'd be out the door in a second if my husband cheated on me, but if I'm being completely honest, the fact that we now have a child does complicate things. I think if we were childless I would stick to my initial reaction of "just leave," but when it's a decision that would affect my daughter immensely, I would definitely have to give it more thought.

    I think for some people it also probably depends on the nature of the cheating - emotional vs. physical, one night stand vs. affair, etc. Some of those things are easier to forgive than others for some people.

    I wouldn't personally judge anyone for trying to make a relationship work after an infidelity, it's when you start seeing patterns and repeat offenders that I start thinking "okay, enough is enough."

  4. Alphadogg16 profile image90
    Alphadogg16posted 3 years ago

    I personally have never been in this situation, however Ive always said once you lose a persons trust, you can never get it back 100%. So I'd say I would walk away. If your both responsible adults/parents, the affect on a child/children will be minimal. Sometimes staying together can affect children more than separating. Kids know and can see when their parents are unhappy/not getting along.

    1. Aime F profile image83
      Aime Fposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      I wouldn't say living in two separate homes and splitting time between parents is 'minimal'. Obviously preferable to a hostile environment, but many couples have successfully repaired relationships after infidelity.

    2. Alphadogg16 profile image90
      Alphadogg16posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Aime, I guess minimal wasn't the best descriptive word, but honestly unless you actually lived in the same house, its hard to say many couples successfully repaired. Many people settle/sacrifice for different reasons & give the appearance of happ

  5. lisavollrath profile image95
    lisavollrathposted 3 years ago

    I was in a long-term, committed relationship that ended for just this reason. I could put up with a lot of things, but finding out my ex, who was out on a job all summer, had been sleeping with someone else, and wasn't honest about it, violated the trust I had in our relationship. I started packing immediately, because I knew once the trust was gone, the relationship was over.

  6. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago

    Life is a personal journey.
    It's important to remember that there is no such thing as an "Universal Deal Breaker". Whatever you or I could possibly think of there is someone living under those conditions who has no plans of going anywhere!
    Secondly as askformore mentioned (circumstances) do matter to most people. One of the main reasons why people who have been cheated on ask the question; (Why?) is because a part of them wants to find a reason to justify staying.
    Also oftentimes the shock of learning one has been cheated on and the thought of going through a breakup or divorce all at once is too much to bear for some people. This is especially true if the couple has been together for more than a couple of years. If a couple has children together that may also play into one's decision as to whether to stay and try to work things out.
    If the cheater shows (sincere contrition), regret, and pleads for forgiveness coupled with being willing to go into couple's therapy their mate may be willing to give the relationship a second chance if they're "in love" with them.
    Last but not least there are some people who know they've been neglectful, taken their mate for granted, stopped having sex or being affectionate. Even though it was the (cheater's) decision to cheat it's not uncommon for a betrayed person to look at some of the "extenuating circumstances"
    Having said that sometimes people WANT to forgive so they try to stick it out only to discover that they can't get out it of their mind!
    No matter how much their mate bends over backwards, becomes transparent, or demonstrates honesty and integrity moving forward they still resent them and some have been known to do a little "revenge cheating" or simply end the relationship after telling the cheater they (forgave) them!
    Suddenly the cheater feels betrayed. Just because one doesn't leave "immediately" doesn't mean they will stay for life.

  7. chaitanyasaivb profile image73
    chaitanyasaivbposted 3 years ago

    Everyone must give a chance to those, who has done any mistakes in their life. So, sometimes, we will find people, staying in the same relationship with their spouses, even though, their spouse has cheated them. But, If they repeat the same mistake for the second time, then, Its better to cut off that relationship.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)