Why would you stay in a marriage when you know for sure your spouse has cheated

1. 59

   Lynn Whiteposted 9 years ago

   Why would you stay in a marriage when you know for sure your spouse has cheated on you?
   
   They have admitted to you that they have cheated, but you still will not get out of the relationahop

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2. 61

   askformore lmposted 9 years ago

   Well, of course it depends a lot on the circumstances. And at least you inform in your question that she has admitted about the cheating (So at the least she doesn't lie).
   So based upon your brief scenario about the cheating, then: Yes, I would forgive her and stay in the marriage.

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3. 71

   Aime Fposted 9 years ago

   I think in a lot of cases it's easier said than done.
   
   I've always said that I'd be out the door in a second if my husband cheated on me, but if I'm being completely honest, the fact that we now have a child does complicate things. I think if we were childless I would stick to my initial reaction of "just leave," but when it's a decision that would affect my daughter immensely, I would definitely have to give it more thought.
   
   I think for some people it also probably depends on the nature of the cheating - emotional vs. physical, one night stand vs. affair, etc. Some of those things are easier to forgive than others for some people.
   
   I wouldn't personally judge anyone for trying to make a relationship work after an infidelity, it's when you start seeing patterns and repeat offenders that I start thinking "okay, enough is enough."

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4. 81

   Alphadogg16posted 9 years ago

   I personally have never been in this situation, however Ive always said once you lose a persons trust, you can never get it back 100%. So I'd say I would walk away. If your both responsible adults/parents, the affect on a child/children will be minimal. Sometimes staying together can affect children more than separating. Kids know and can see when their parents are unhappy/not getting along.

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   1. 71

      Aime Fposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I wouldn't say living in two separate homes and splitting time between parents is 'minimal'. Obviously preferable to a hostile environment, but many couples have successfully repaired relationships after infidelity.

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   2. 81

      Alphadogg16posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Aime, I guess minimal wasn't the best descriptive word, but honestly unless you actually lived in the same house, its hard to say many couples successfully repaired. Many people settle/sacrifice for different reasons & give the appearance of happ

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5. 91

   lisavollrathposted 9 years ago

   I was in a long-term, committed relationship that ended for just this reason. I could put up with a lot of things, but finding out my ex, who was out on a job all summer, had been sleeping with someone else, and wasn't honest about it, violated the trust I had in our relationship. I started packing immediately, because I knew once the trust was gone, the relationship was over.

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6. 72

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   Life is a personal journey.
   It's important to remember that there is no such thing as an "Universal Deal Breaker". Whatever you or I could possibly think of there is someone living under those conditions who has no plans of going anywhere!
   Secondly as askformore mentioned (circumstances) do matter to most people. One of the main reasons why people who have been cheated on ask the question; (Why?) is because a part of them wants to find a reason to justify staying.
   Also oftentimes the shock of learning one has been cheated on and the thought of going through a breakup or divorce all at once is too much to bear for some people. This is especially true if the couple has been together for more than a couple of years. If a couple has children together that may also play into one's decision as to whether to stay and try to work things out.
   If the cheater shows (sincere contrition), regret, and pleads for forgiveness coupled with being willing to go into couple's therapy their mate may be willing to give the relationship a second chance if they're "in love" with them.
   Last but not least there are some people who know they've been neglectful, taken their mate for granted, stopped having sex or being affectionate. Even though it was the (cheater's) decision to cheat it's not uncommon for a betrayed person to look at some of the "extenuating circumstances"
   Having said that sometimes people WANT to forgive so they try to stick it out only to discover that they can't get out it of their mind!
   No matter how much their mate bends over backwards, becomes transparent, or demonstrates honesty and integrity moving forward they still resent them and some have been known to do a little "revenge cheating" or simply end the relationship after telling the cheater they (forgave) them!
   Suddenly the cheater feels betrayed. Just because one doesn't leave "immediately" doesn't mean they will stay for life.

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7. 68

   chaitanyasaivbposted 9 years ago

   Everyone must give a chance to those, who has done any mistakes in their life. So, sometimes, we will find people, staying in the same relationship with their spouses, even though, their spouse has cheated them. But, If they repeat the same mistake for the second time, then, Its better to cut off that relationship.

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