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Best Answer John Hansen says
The way you described flirting is how it is meant to be---a natural exchange between people who are having fun. It was not meant to be a suggestive "come-on." Flirting is meant as a compliment and a way to express our emotional selves without fear.
Tim Mitchell says
You're funny, Tim. Flirting at work is pretty much taboo these days. In fact, flirting anywhere often causes communication problems. That makes me sad. That being said, I liked your comment about etiquette and "emotional awareness of human sexuality"
I like this! I was wondering how to deal with the situation when the person has a partner. I suppose I could flirt with her, too?
Nooo....don't flirt with her too. It's best to leave the couples alone, unless you know them and are pretty close with them. If they are strangers, don't go there, girlfriend.
What if I'm flirting with a guy who turns out to have a girlfriend / wife? Then what do I do?
Just let them know that you intended the flirting as a compliment---nothing more, nothing less and that you had not intended to offend. Just keep it light. You shouldn't have to walk on pins and needles.
That works. I'm thinking if I see a couple, I could smile and wink at them both? Just keep my hands off, under all circumstances; touching is a come-on.
Touching is a come-on. Please don't do that. No need to wink at couples at all. Just stick to the single guys who are age appropriate. However, you can wink and give a thumbs up to those who have just skied particularly well.
Say Yes, are you out of your mind? Married couples are off limits! What God has joined 2gether let no man put asunder (goes for women too). Respect that and find your own man! Or woman, I guess.
Relax, you guys! I'm not trying to steal anyone! There's enough to go around. I just enjoy seeing couples together, and wish to compliment them on that. I also like looking at gorgeous guys - and girls. What's wrong with that???
Say Yes, I am not judging you. My sense is that, as a young woman, you may not have been given the appreciation you deserved. Everyone appreciates beauty---even babies. That's Ok. We just have to be sensitive to people's feelings about couples. :)
SD - you're absolutely right! I'm from the ghetto, where the atmosphere is ugly and hostile, guys were something to be feared, and early single parenthood was the only romance. Though I left long ago, I'm still working on getting it out of me.
It's Okay, sweet Yoleen. All the crap you endured was not your fault and unfortunately, it takes a lifetime to overcome abuse. I actually give you a lot of credit. You can talk to me about anything, anytime. After all, we have an SDA connection.
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Lolita Monroe says
No. You seem perfectly charmimg. Why is it a no-no? Is it just the rejection thing or is it something else, Lolita?
Ashton, I appreciate your honest feelings about flirting. I suspect that many sincere women have the same sentiment that you do. Where you and I differ is---I believe flirting need not be a form of manipulation. That idea is an American construct...
No it need not be. Unfortunately it has developed to that point, at least in my personal experience.
I hear you. Unfortunately, flirting is misconstrued in the United States. I believe women have the fear that men view it as sexual interest. Sad but true. Young men, especially, get "excited" over just about anything.
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I agree that gaming should not be the intention, Word55. But as Jodah suggested, flirting is really just a compliment. However, if flirting has had negative repercussions for you, then I imagine it is best that you flirt only with a chosen few.
Tamara Wilhite says
Unfortunately, I find that I do not flirt much lest my meaning be misconstrued. However, flirting was originally intended to be a compliment. Nothing more. Nothing less. It's too bad that flirting is no longer a natural and happy activity in America,
Yoleen Lucas says
Lol. I know you, Yoleen. Just be careful with the young ones. But seriously. as I mentioned, flirting does make your white blood count higher. You are right about choosing to flirt only when it is appropriate. ;)
Actually, women do initiate flirting nearly all of the time. But you are right, flirting is sometimes viewed as "creepy." And often it is! I wish Americans were more like the French, where flirting is culturally accepted, and very, very natural.
Whether or not it's creepy depends on how it's done - RIGHT???
I do agree that once someone in a relationship, flirting with others is rude.
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findnrs..,,.flirting does have an emotional quality. No question there.
That's cute, peachy. Some of us are very bashful and that's Ok. Just keep in mind that flirting can take a few seconds and it doesn't have to be over-the-top sexy. If it feels uncomfortable to you, don't worry about flirting. ;)
yecall..Hard to say why you stopped flirting. Maybe you were taken the wrong way by the receiver or you may have begun too feel shy or less confident for some reason. Hard to know. My advice is to flirt among friends where no one gets the wrong idea.
I wish Americans were more open to flirting---without worrying about "weird" repercussions. But alas, it would seem that only the French have this ability. Love you answer, Cissy.;)
Andre Cordelius says
Great answer, cordelius! I think your words are very wise.
That's true Peter, nor should flirting be viewed that way (that she likes you) . It was originally meant to be fun---a way to compliment someone and then be on your merry way.;)