i want to break up with him but everything i think i should say just sounds like

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   muddle<34posted 13 years ago

   i want to break up with him but everything i think i should say just sounds like a cliche. help?
   
   i've been with him for almost four yrs but over the last year since he went to uni away from our area he has become a completely different person who doesnt respect any1 including me. we've been on a break for 3 mnths and just started talkin again. i thought he was improving but then he just went back to the arrogant, selfish person he's become so i no nothin's changed. even coming this close to loosing me hasnt made a difference. but i dont know how to go about ending it. im really struggling with what im supposed to say to him.

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2. 64

   SIJO1posted 13 years ago

   Just tell the truth as you have written it here. Honesty is the best policy. People dont like hearing the truth but maybe its what he needs to hear and sometimes pepole dont realise themselves how they come across to others so as well as breaking up you might just do him a favour.Hope that helps

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   muddle<34posted 13 years ago

   thank you for your answer. i just dont like hurting him even after all he's put me through. he reacted really badly to me telling him i wanted to go on a break from the relationship, like i had crushed his heart or something, so im worried about his reaction to this so i want to do it as kindly as possible.

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   20SomethingGirlposted 13 years ago

   First you need to make the commitment to yourself that you are ready to leave.  Remind yourself of the reasons you are leaving and why they are important to you.  While his feelings may affect your mood, it is your own feelings that you need to look out for.  If you have not made the commitment to leave to yourself, you are going to be easily pulled back into the situation when he responds emotionally to you.
   
   You also need to realize that you are not going to change him.  No matter what you wish will happen, and what he tells you will happen, he is who he is.  Instead of expecting and hoping that he will improve you need to look for someone who you are happy with from the beginning.
   
   I guess what I am trying to say is that the most important person in your relationship is YOU.  When getting out of a relationship that is making you unhappy it is OK to be selfish.  Don't go out of your way to hurt him, but also realize that in the long run it will be better for both of you if you leave as soon as possible.

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