I have an open relationship with a man.How to you tell him you want more with out fear he will leave
I have been seeing someone for a few months we only get together ever few weeks the other night I looked at hime and realised that I was falling for him. He came over last weekend everything is great. He is always asking me if I have something on my mind I always tell him no. I want to tell him that I want to know if we are just a hookup or does he ever want to be more. I'm so scared to tell him. I happy with the few hours in a month that I get with him. But I so want more.
It's only and always worth it to have people in your life as well as circle who are unconditional as well as understanding to you and your feelings. For you to fear him leaving says that you are in the know about "the truth", his truth. If you enjoy the moments that you spend together, settle for just that! But if the desires of your heart preceded that, it would be in your best interest to seek out what your heart desires.
Vonda G. Nelson
honesty is the best way to make a relationship strong. if you talk to him and he doesn't want what you want at least you will know where you stand. in the end , you can still continue to live like you are but at least you will not have to worry about your future life with him.
I've been in this situation before. I never had the courage to tell him how I really felt through fear of ruining things, and him running. Another girl told him how she felt and he started a more serious relationship with her, and ours ended. So my advice would be to find away to tell him how you feel no matter how scary it might seem. And try to say it directly to him, not via text message or email. Bear in mind that you have a right to your feelings but it could come as a shock to him since your relationship has only been casual up to this point, so after you've told him please give him some time and space to think about what you've said so he can make up his own mind about it.
Another way to go about it would be to say something subtle to him about how you feel you're developing stronger feelings for him than what you originally had, and just see what his reaction is when you say that, at least it might get you talking about where you really stand with eachother. You lose more when you never tell the person you love how you feel, so you really need to find a way to overcome your fear of communicating your feelings to him.
Also bear in mind, your feelings could be that of lust and it could be just a crush, because if he's just coming over to your place every few weeks he's probably not giving you what you're really looking for or deserve in a relationship no matter how hot he might be it doesn't sound like he's taking you out on proper dates etc and he's potentially seeing other women (since you have an open relationship at the moment).
You have to just tell him. If you do and he runs, then it wasn't "meant to be", but maybe it'll turn out he was thinking the same exact thing and will appreciate you coming out and saying it.
On the other hand, if you don't tell him, sure, you might get to continue enjoying your occasional "hookups"... but ultimately you'll never actually be happy.
Asking someone for more than they are giving you is always a risk. However it's worth taking that risk. You are better off knowing where you stand before you get too emotionally involved. Ultimately we are all looking for someone who wants what we want.
by Michelle Liew 11 years ago
What is the best advice you have for keeping a marriage or relationship strong?
by Julianna 13 years ago
Write a hub about what it takes to keep a relationship strong when a man/woman is abroad
by Tranita 12 years ago
What do you do if you're in love with someone and the sex isn't that good?This person can't turn you on with oral sex, foreplay or any other type of sexual advances. You don't have children with them or you're not married. How do you tell them without hurting their feelings. Man or Woman.
by StrictlyQuotes 4 years ago
How to tell your parents you're dating a much older woman or man?When there's a HUGE age gap but it's time to introduce your new boyfriend or girlfriend to your parents. I think you should probably warn them beforehand? Any ideas about this topic?
by Kaleolani 12 years ago
Do you think getting married at about 17 or 18 is too young?
by jsteve27 13 years ago
How do you get a man to open up and express his feelings?It seems when you ask a man questions about what is on his mind about "sticky" situations like relationship issues they seem to close up.
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |