Just to clarify, giving your husband or wife a "pass" to "cheat" would not be cheating. Right???
You are correct!
Cheating means to "break the rules".
Generally speaking it involves deception, secrecy, and betrayal.
If someone gives their spouse a "pass" to have sex with others that would be defined as an "open marriage".
Even with that they still might have "rules" such as no having sex with any of my relatives, friends, co-workers, or anyone I personally know.
You later find out your husband is having sex with your sister or cousin. Even with a "pass" that would be considered cheating.
Other rules might be "Don't have sex with others in our house or bed!"
Another rule might be don't have unprotected sex or conceive children.
The only way to eliminate the possibility of cheating is to eliminate all rules! As long as there are "rules" the opportunity exists to break them.
There are lots of people who may not be sexually compatible with their spouse and yet they don't believe it means they should divorce.
Some of these folks have allowed their spouse to have sex with others as long as they were "discrete" and didn't embarrass them.
Oftentimes this was called: "Looking the other way."
There is no such thing as a "universal deal breaker".
Whatever scenario we can imagine someone is living under those conditions without having any plans whatsoever to leave their spouse!
Not long ago there was a woman whose husband was a quadriplegic.
It was discovered that she was on Ashley Madison the site for affairs.
Although her husband had not given her a "pass" she chose to cheat in order to STAY and continue to take care of him. She noted if she would have been forced to ignore her sexual desire and need for romance & physical intimacy she would have put her husband in a nursing home.
Most couples talking about "passes" are joking. So you would want to be sure that they mean it (mentally), and will actually be okay with it (emotionally). Saying "but you said it was okay" will be small consolation if it destroys the marriage anyway.
Good point psycheskinner. Many couples do joke about giving passes especially if they believe it's unlikely their mate would ever have an opportunity to be for example with an "A list" celebrity.
I would imagine an attractive woman though has a better odds of having sex with her favorite male celebrity than a guy would have his favorite female celebrity.
New World Translation
Mt 19:6 So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”
Ec 4:12 And someone may overpower one alone, but two together can take a stand against him. And a threefold cord cannot quickly be torn apart.
You see not only did you vow to each other but you also made a vow to the Heavenly Father.
There is no one else that should be in your marriage but God , you, and your husband.
This is a moral standing before God.
I would imagine God didn't play cupid in most couple's marriages.
Anyone who is "in love" with their spouse doesn't want to share them.
Whenever one offers a "pass" to the other it means they're not "in love".
They may care about you & they're comfortable with the living standard.
Yes, I started this discussion due to a certain entertainer making headlines today in the media saying she gave her husband a "pass" to cheat. I thought, "How silly, if you gave him a pass, it's not cheating!"
by affairdetector7 years ago
Having a husband or boyfriend who cheated is a big hit to your self esteem. You begin to doubt your marriage and your ability to make your husband happy or to be enough. And there are tons of old stereotypes which...
by shonaa20 months ago
My name is Sona, I got married to my boyfriend in Feb 2011. We were extremely happy for the first year. We both took out time for each other. Did activities together . went out on small vacations, partying etc.I adore...
by Emunah La Paz3 years ago
The Definition of Unattractive is: as follows: plain, ugly, unappealing, unpleasant, hideous, unlovely, unprepossessing, unsightly, ghastly, revolting, repellent, repulsive, repugnant.However, can this description...
by MissJamieD5 years ago
From experience I know how frustrating it is that my husband is the boss of our family and makes 95% of the choices we face....but I'm also thankful because I have enough to deal with as a SAHM and it's kind of a mental...
by Kevin W4 years ago
A good friend of mine recently found out her husband was cheating on her and is actually more upset with the woman he cheated with rather then her husband. I understand it takes two, but in my opinion he is totally at...
by JP Carlos5 years ago
Perhaps more than just forgiving the person, would you still think of continuing with the relationship?
Copyright © 2017 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.